Was this damaging or ful?

[deg20]

In my other posts, I explained how my ex wife turned into asex addict right after separation…showed me videos of her and other men, toldme the stories first hand, and used/played me, told me I was a mistake, etc. Ineed to know if what I’m about to explain helped me or caused more damage. I wasn’t in my right mind when I did this, so please bear with me. I’m gettingmixed opinions from people and counselors.

 

 

After separation, I began running. A met a guy while running and we became friends. He asked about my situation so I told him. After seeing a pic of my ex, he kindly asked for her number to contact her. Possibly seeing this as a step for me to move forward, I obliged, as he seemed like a good person. I texted the number to my ex, explained who he was, how I knew him,etc., and that was the last of it. She didn’t state whether she texted/called him or not, and I didn’t ask. I also went about three weeks without seeing my new friend either.

 

 

When I did see him again, I asked if he contacted her. He did, and he told me he cut contact with her after three weeks since he met someone else…but he told me how she was so addicted to sexting him, and asking for nude pics, and how she relayed how she felt about me to him, which hurt…and yes, he showed me some of the texts…he was reluctant to show/tell me, but I was curious and it was burning inside me to know. She went into detail about how she slept with my ex friend the very night she moved me into my new apartment…and I mean “detail”…(she still denies this, and doesn’t know I know the truth to this day )…she also explained how she loved threesomes, being single, and told him many exploits that I was unaware of at the time…she told me much of this later, which now I realize has somewhat damaged me, but made me see who she really is. They never got together, and he said all she did was talk sex…in detail, and bash me…how she felt like she a “mommy” to me, not a wife…how I seemed miserable at the end ( I was, because she ignored/avoided me more and more ), and how she shouldn’t have married me. She also told him she “never crossed the line while married”, but I think she’s lying.

 

 

Again, about 90% of their texting was sexual…what she wanted to do to him, and him to her. My new friend grew weary of this, and dumped her. He didn’t even meet her…, and I believe him, and in my mind that doesn’t really matter. Please be aware that some, not all of her exploits were told to me first hand by her in a cruel and smug manner, as well as her showing me some of this on her phone as well…( I know, I should have turned her away at those moments but I was awestruck ). My friend moved out of country soon after I met with him, and my ex never ever mentioned him. So, after learning all this info this way, was it damaging to me or did it reveal the truth about her and help me see who she really is/was?

 

 

Some say it was damaging, some say you don’t have to wonder and the truth about her is helpful...paving the way to recovery...please relay your thoughts..

[PegNosePete]

Of course it's damaging. That is why you're here asking about it. If it wasn't damaging then you wouldn't care.

 

If you want to move on then you need to cut all contact. And cut contact with this guy, who was never interested in being your friend, he was simply using you to get some free sex with your wife.