Wow, that hurt!

[a22g]

I have been dating this girl for a little over a year and I have to say that it has been one helluva rollercoaster ride ..... but not for the good. I will try to summarize as quickly as possible without boring the living daylights out of you all.

 

We met, it was instant chemistry. We got a along famously. Her family loved me, and it seemed my family loved her. Then I started finding out things about 2 months into the relationship. She used to deal drugs, was a heavy coke and heroin user. Went to rehab about 5 years ago and claimed to be clean. I don't judge anyone and I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

 

Her actions and such were really starting to get suspicious, and at first I thought she was cheating. More on that later. I started doing a lot of research about the matter and even discussed her past drug problem with her mom. It turns out for the whole time up until now she has actively been using heroin. Giving drug dealers and users rides home. I confronted her, massive argument ensued. Told her I would be by her side to help her get over this, but that she really needed to want to do it herself otherwise I couldn't stay in the relationship.

 

Now, intertwined with this situation was the entire situation of trust. I found out she was sexting guys. I knew she fancied this other guy that she used to do drugs with. Last night one of her friends contacted me and pretty much blew the lid off the pot. I found out that when she went on a cruise about 5 months into our relationship she had sex with 3 different guys. I also found out that she has been hooking up with someone back home. The kicker is, the one cruise we were supposed to go on a few months ago she found out one of the guys that she hooked up with was going on the same one. She was asking everyone for money, including me, so she could go on this thing to meet up with him ... With me on it too!!!

 

Right now I feel like a giant emasculated man. I have been stripped of all dignity and self-worth. Tonight I am cutting the cord because there is just no way in hell I deserve that. Honestly, I feel pretty sick. I still love her, but I think it is more out of guilt and hope that she recovers from her current addiction. It tears me apart that I can't do anything about it, but honestly, there really isn't anything I can do. The fact that she cheated, and the fact that lies were spewed everyday is enough reason to justify my decision. There is no trust and I have had serious trust issues in the past. She knew this, and she always said she would never cheat because she was cheated on many times. I, for one, would never entertain the idea of cheating, ever. That's just me. That's my foundation I was brought up with in life.

 

Damn, I am blabbering. Anyway, that's pretty much the moral of the story.

[d0nnivain]

You are well rid of her. The audacity of trying to hook up with another guy while on a cruise with you -- what a piece of work.

 

You will regain your dignity & masculinity as soon as you kick her to the curb.

[veggirl]

You must've been ignoring some massive red flags throughout the year. What kind of stuff were you rug-sweeping? I mean where was she doing heroine, with who? Staying out all night? you had no idea...really?

[a22g]

I did ignore a lot. That was my issue and I should've recognized and acted before things got out-of-hand. I was consumed with the fact of trying to get her help. She wouldn't stay out late at all. She was very good at hiding it, until I started finding things around and recognizing how she was acting. I should have done what I need to do now a long time ago.

[Chi townD]

Because she's a know drug user and has participated in sexual practices outside your relationship, I strongly urge you to see a doctor and get checked out for your own piece of mind.

[a22g]

yeah, that is what I am worried about the most right now.

[No Limit]

Never give the benefit of the doubt to strangers. You'll just get dragged down into other people's mess.

[MrMeh]

Get checked for anything you might have caught, break up with her civilly, block her in every way possible, and keep a sound mind with your head up. Good luck!

[smackie9]

Heroin addicts can relapse several times and maybe 10% who go to rehab actually stay clean. An addict will always be an addict even when they are clean, no different than an alcoholic....it's forever. The addiction can be triggered very easily because they use drugs as a coping mechanism.

 

As devastating as your experience was, you have leaned a valuable lesson. Best of luck to you.

[Darren Steez]

I have been dating this girl for a little over a year and I have to say that it has been one helluva rollercoaster ride ..... but not for the good. I will try to summarize as quickly as possible without boring the living daylights out of you all.

 

We met, it was instant chemistry. We got a along famously. Her family loved me, and it seemed my family loved her. Then I started finding out things about 2 months into the relationship. She used to deal drugs, was a heavy coke and heroin user. Went to rehab about 5 years ago and claimed to be clean. I don't judge anyone and I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

 

Her actions and such were really starting to get suspicious, and at first I thought she was cheating. More on that later. I started doing a lot of research about the matter and even discussed her past drug problem with her mom. It turns out for the whole time up until now she has actively been using heroin. Giving drug dealers and users rides home. I confronted her, massive argument ensued. Told her I would be by her side to help her get over this, but that she really needed to want to do it herself otherwise I couldn't stay in the relationship.

 

Now, intertwined with this situation was the entire situation of trust. I found out she was sexting guys. I knew she fancied this other guy that she used to do drugs with. Last night one of her friends contacted me and pretty much blew the lid off the pot. I found out that when she went on a cruise about 5 months into our relationship she had sex with 3 different guys. I also found out that she has been hooking up with someone back home. The kicker is, the one cruise we were supposed to go on a few months ago she found out one of the guys that she hooked up with was going on the same one. She was asking everyone for money, including me, so she could go on this thing to meet up with him ... With me on it too!!!

 

Right now I feel like a giant emasculated man. I have been stripped of all dignity and self-worth. Tonight I am cutting the cord because there is just no way in hell I deserve that. Honestly, I feel pretty sick. I still love her, but I think it is more out of guilt and hope that she recovers from her current addiction. It tears me apart that I can't do anything about it, but honestly, there really isn't anything I can do. The fact that she cheated, and the fact that lies were spewed everyday is enough reason to justify my decision. There is no trust and I have had serious trust issues in the past. She knew this, and she always said she would never cheat because she was cheated on many times. I, for one, would never entertain the idea of cheating, ever. That's just me. That's my foundation I was brought up with in life.

 

Damn, I am blabbering. Anyway, that's pretty much the moral of the story.

 

Brah, emasculated men don't stand up for themselves by kicking their broads to the curb. Only a dude with strength and conviction does that.

 

Yes you got cheated on but slinging her out shows you won't put up with that kind of nonsense.

 

It's a move of strength not weakness.

[Space Ritual]

Don't blame yourself. I am a recovering alcoholic and addict with almost 18 years of sobriety under my belt. The only way she would have stopped her addictions and subsequent actions would have been when she was sick and tired of being sick and tired of what she was doing and dismissing whatever consequences she was subjected to. It is very rare to succeed, even as long as I have without having had enough consequences for our actions to affect us to the point where we paint ourselves into a corner of an either/or situation and choose to come out of it.

 

That being said, please save yourself. You have only a little over a year invested and can move on so she either gets the help she needs in order to become a responsible adult or becomes somebody else's problem. I understand your concern for her, but I advise it best for you to walk away from this situation, so you don't get taken down with the ship. For the answers to your questions are probably not even going to come close to the answers you would be seeking. Let her go.

 

Good Luck

[I_Give_Up67]

Hold your head high friend!

 

Her problems are her problems and hers alone!

 

You could not have saved her either. With or without the drugs, she sounds

 

like a really screwed up person. You deserve better.

[a22g]

Thank all of you for your responses. I ended it tonight. prolly the worse breakup, but it's done. I feel like ****, but I hope that this will be a kick in her ass. I would have given the world to this girl. Just tired out from all the lies and deceit.

[smackie9]

Thank all of you for your responses. I ended it tonight. prolly the worse breakup, but it's done. I feel like ****, but I hope that this will be a kick in her ass. I would have given the world to this girl. Just tired out from all the lies and deceit.

 

Stay strong, and best of luck

[mrs rubble]

Thank all of you for your responses. I ended it tonight. prolly the worse breakup, but it's done. I feel like ****, but I hope that this will be a kick in her ass. I would have given the world to this girl. Just tired out from all the lies and deceit.

Well done, stay strong! When she comes back begging for another chance, remember the drugs, the lies and the danger she's exposed you to and don't give in to her.

[a22g]

Just wanted to thank you all again. I feel a little guilt that I dropped her, but I know it is for the best. Deep down somewhere inside her there is someone good. Hopefully this will be a wake-up call for her. I did truly love her.