Jeckle and hyde, i was inlove with split personality man

[DatingDirection]

We broke up 4 years ago. Today, I found out someone I worked closely with has past away, and all the sudden I start missing my first love of my life. Why? Thoughts are going through my mind, if only he made a few changes with our relationship, communication style, and loyalty, and really apprieciated what we had, b/c im telling you what we had was very special. He had a jeckle and hyde personality. He was very sincere, and sweet like an organge. Then he could be sour like a lemon. Mean as ever, insults slipping out, vindictive, talking to his "friends" over the net, mean while, she is now here, in our city, they travel together, as if they were a couple. i have no idea he could be married to her for all i know, or just "friends", as they claimed to be, all while, I questioned their friendship, filled with flirtatious comments back and forth.

 

 

 

 

I can't even explain what we had between us, b/c it's all about energy, and the magic we had, which cannot be explained. he took me for granted that's for sure, b/c of his immaturity, and now we're apart, im alone, and he is without me, without that magic, energy we had together, it's lost. it can never be replaced by another person, b/c there is only 1 me in the world, and 1 him in the world. im scared that I will not have that connection again, what if I am alone for the rest of my life? I mean, if being alone means that I don't need to be with someone that I worry about things like cheating, lying, and deceiving, then that's great. on the other hand, if being alone means missing out on love again, laughing with someone, and sharing my perspective on life, and having a baby, a family, then the thought of being alone for the rest of my life is daunting. I really miss him, his smell, the quirkiness, the small things he did, said, the energy, it was...magic. that was 4 years ago, and all the sudden im thinking about it. I find myself angry at him for giving that all up, yet relieved and sad that he couldn't find it in himself, to man up and change. trust me, I understand it takes two to change, and make a relationship work, but my reactions to his behaviors, would have changed if his behaviors changed too. Cause and effect.

 

 

I will never forget, he the last things he said to me were, I hope you find someone who helped you as much as I did. I replied, I hope you find someone who LOVED YOU AS MUCH AS I DID. I should have called him a schmuck, after.

Edited April 11, 2015 by DatingDirection

[Downtown]

He had a jeckle and hyde personality. He was very sincere, and sweet like an organge. Then he could be sour like a lemon. Mean as ever, insults slipping out, vindictive

Dating, the behaviors you describe are a few of the classic warning signs for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and, to a lesser extent, NPD (Narcissistic PD). Of course, you are not capable of diagnosing your Ex. Only a professional can do that. You nonetheless are fully capable of spotting the red flags for BPD and NPD if you take a little time to learn what warning signs to look for.

 

I therefore suggest you take a look at my list of red flags at 18 BPD Warning Signs. If you find that most of those signs sound very familiar, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. If that description rings many bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Take care, Dating.