Are housewives ever happy?

[Anais]

I was talking with this girl who is just getting her PhD in Physics soon. She said her dream is to be a housewife. This caused me to think about the topic.

 

 

Are you happy to be a housewife? (if you are one/or if you were once) Please explain your answer. Would you consider to be one if you had a great husband? If no, why is it?

 

Thanks for sharing.

[heavenly]

Originally posted by Anais

I was talking with this girl who is just getting her PhD in Physics soon. She said her dream is to be a housewife. This caused me to think about the topic.

 

 

Are you happy to be a housewife? (if you are one/or if you were once) Please explain your answer. Would you consider to be one if you had a great husband? If no, why is it?

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

Let me say this - the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side!

 

I am a housewife, and most of the time it's not bad - I enjoy dictating my and my daughters' schedules, and being able to change plans at the last minute. Can't get to the store tonight? Just go in the morning!

 

However, your social interaction with other adults (especially if you have children) is drastically reduced. I'm lucky if I get out once every couple of months with a friend to go to lunch, a movie, etc.

 

My husband thinks that I have it made because I'm at home - what he doesn't realize is that you can't procrastinate when you stay at home - cleaning doesn't do itself, and if you wait too long to change a diaper, you will likely regret it He also has no clue what it's like to deal with 2 kids day in and day out.

 

I watch him leave for work 5-6 days a week and am sometimes quite envious that he "gets" to go interact with other adults, leave work at work when his shift is done, and gets paid fairly well.

[Mom4]

I have done both... work outside the home and stay at home. I prefer the term "Home Manager!"

 

There are +'s and - 's to staying at home. It may not be the "best" decision for me personally but for my "family" it is. My spouse works really crazy hours and can either be home at 7pm or 1am. He has to take call too. I have four children ages 10 to 2. My children are wonderful and I feel so blessed and honored to be their mother . Our day starts at 6am and ends for the kids around 8:30,me it ends around 12am. It is non-stop. It is a 24/7 job. I manage it well and still have a good time. I live near a college so I have my pool of babysitting help. I enjoy volunteering... gives me some satisfaction that I get from "working" but it is very flexible. I also keep physically active and participate in some sports and fitness. I look at motherhood as a car sometimes... if you don't fill up with gas and get a tune-up regularly you are not going to run efficiently . I have people ask me all the time how I do it... I just keep moving forward but I don't' forget about myself.

 

My marriage is another story ... really working on that one. I could spend all day talking about that but sometimes it's too hard to get my points across. I have written some about it.. I haven't written lately on the subject.

[Anais]

Originally posted by heavenly

However, your social interaction with other adults (especially if you have children) is drastically reduced. I'm lucky if I get out once every couple of months with a friend to go to lunch, a movie, etc.

 

 

That should be hard. I don't go often too because of working hard. I thought being at home gives more time to socialize.

 

My husband thinks that I have it made because I'm at home - what he doesn't realize is that you can't procrastinate when you stay at home - cleaning doesn't do itself, and if you wait too long to change a diaper, you will likely regret it He also has no clue what it's like to deal with 2 kids day in and day out.

I am surprised how fast we forget it. I have been there for about a year and now I remember only the fun part.

[Anais]

My marriage is another story ... really working on that one. I could spend all day talking about that but sometimes it's too hard to get my points across. I have written some about it.. I haven't written lately on the subject.

 

 

Good luck with your marriage. Thank you both for sharing your stories.

[Moose]

I may not be a housewife, but my better half is. Let me be clear about one thing right off about it though. Husbands who think that their housewives have it made, and have the better end of the stick, is sadly mistaken. Not only that, a statement such as that is a clear indication that he's not being supportive to his wife.

 

The main ingredient of a happy housewife is the supportive husband. Period. IF your friend's husband is willing to back her up on her, "housing manager", decisions and techniques, she stands a fantastic chance of being happy.

 

Housewives are on the clock 24/7. So should supportive husbands be. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing I like better then coming home, grabbing a beer, sitting in my recliner, and watch my favorite show right after work. And there's nothing wrong with that.....at all. It becomes wrong when the next time you get up is when your ready to hit the head and go to bed.

 

I'm not saying that I do everything perfect, but, I can guarentee you that my butt is off the recliner at 6:30 sharp, and I'm on my way to the shop to play with my toys! That is if the weather is permitting. If not, I help inside with cleaning, managing the kids. And when I say I'm playing with my toys.....it's usually keeping the immediate 3 acres around the house proper and up to golf course standards.

 

So yeah, There are some housewives that are very happy. But like anyone else, no matter what they're doing, we all have our low spots and wonder what the hell we're doing all of this for anyway..........

[SadAndLonely]

I don't think I could be a housewife, but that's because I'm fairly career-oriented. However, I know some people who are very happy being housewives. My best friend's mom, for example. She loves it. And, to be fair, since her kids are grown, she has very little she has to do, so her life is pretty easy. She spends a good amount of time shopping or on the phone with her friends, and that's during the day. Because it's mostly just her and her husband, she only has to do laundry once a week, clean the bathroom once a week, vaccuum once a week, etc. I, however, would probably go nuts after a while. That's not to say I wouldn't like to be independently wealthy, but then I'd probably still spend my time volunteering or something.

[GetOverYourself]

I think as long as a person feels "productive," and that is an entirely personal standard to each individual.......they can be content with their vocation.

[Mz. Pixie]

Moose-

 

You should seriously think about starting some

 

"How to rock as a Husband" courses!!!!!!!!!!!

[Moose]

Originally posted by Mz. Pixie

Moose-

 

You should seriously think about starting some

 

"How to rock as a Husband" courses!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, what a compliment.....thanks Mz. Pixie!

[SoleMate]

I've been a fulltime homemake, and had a demanding high tech career, and IMO, a homemaker at home with a young child or baby has it WAY rougher than almost any salaried job. The workload is NEVERENDING with a young child...you get no rest...barely time to shower...no adult talk...your brain turns to goo...your evolve in a retrograde sense...your nightmares are about diapers and rashes...

 

A Silicon Valley startup seems like a walk in the park in comparison.

[heavenly]

Originally posted by Anais

That should be hard. I don't go often too because of working hard. I thought being at home gives more time to socialize.

So did I, until we had kids LOL

 

 

I am surprised how fast we forget it. I have been there for about a year and now I remember only the fun part.

 

Once the kid hits about 1 it becomes MUCH easier, in my opinion. I had/have so much fun with our older daughter (who just turned 2) because she can articulate what she wants to do, and she can go on the swings, play with Playdoh, color, etc etc.

 

Don't get me wrong; I love our younger daughter (4 months) as well, and we have fun (if you've ever heard an infant laugh or watched them play with their toes you know where I'm coming from here ). It just gets frustrating when they reach that point where all they do is drool, puke, and poop.

 

All in all, being a housewife suits me as I'm such a homebody anyway. If/When I go back to work it will be very part time (less than 20 hours/week) and mostly just to retain my sanity LOL.

[Squirrelly]

This thread has turned from "are you happy" to "it's hard work," so I feel okay going off with this tangent.

 

I have a VERY serious question.

 

I _know_ being a housewife is hard work, and I'm the husband. Here's my dilemma: my wife isn't convinced!

My wife and I have no children yet. She is eagerly anticipating being a mother and raising kids. She comes from a huge, loving family of 10 who all live near each other (within 5 minutes) and when they need to do things, they drop the kids off at each other's places and never had problems.

We, however, live 2 hours away. We couldn't just drop a child off if we needed to do something.

I just can't seem to get through to her on this issue. I know children will severely tax her, and to make matters worse, I did not have a happy childhood. Yep, you know what THAT means!! It means no matter what, I am gunshy about kids because I have issues from childhood!

Now, my wife has two close friends who do not ever want kids. They had happy childhoods. My wife won't address that, though. She insists that the reason I am not so keen on kids is that I had a bad childhood... She's taking the Way Too Obvious Interpretation, and I'm not getting through.

Any ideas? I thought of babysitting a young child for a weekend but we're not in a position to do so (again, closest relatives are 2 hours).

[Moose]

What's more important to you? Your wife's happiness, or your freedom from the burdens of having a child? Would you be at peace with yourself if you denied your wife a family? These are the questions you need to concern yourself with. Not whether or not your wife can handle it. (which I'm sure she can).

 

I can understand your concerns with your childhood. The thing about that is, you're in control now. Not your parents. I had a terrible childhood. You will not be able to see that in my kids though. My childhood challenged me to provide my kids with a stable, loving enviroment. Yours can too.

 

Don't be so selfish with what you're going to do with your kids if you want to go and do something. Include them when you can. When you can't, find a reliable caring sitter.

 

Although it's hard work, it's not rocket science. You could be denying yourself a lot of joy.

[heavenly]

Originally posted by Squirrelly

This thread has turned from "are you happy" to "it's hard work," so I feel okay going off with this tangent.

 

I have a VERY serious question.

 

I _know_ being a housewife is hard work, and I'm the husband. Here's my dilemma: my wife isn't convinced!

My wife and I have no children yet. She is eagerly anticipating being a mother and raising kids. She comes from a huge, loving family of 10 who all live near each other (within 5 minutes) and when they need to do things, they drop the kids off at each other's places and never had problems.

We, however, live 2 hours away. We couldn't just drop a child off if we needed to do something.

I just can't seem to get through to her on this issue. I know children will severely tax her, and to make matters worse, I did not have a happy childhood. Yep, you know what THAT means!! It means no matter what, I am gunshy about kids because I have issues from childhood!

Now, my wife has two close friends who do not ever want kids. They had happy childhoods. My wife won't address that, though. She insists that the reason I am not so keen on kids is that I had a bad childhood... She's taking the Way Too Obvious Interpretation, and I'm not getting through.

Any ideas? I thought of babysitting a young child for a weekend but we're not in a position to do so (again, closest relatives are 2 hours).

 

I can appreciate where you're coming from; my childhood was absolutely horrible, and if anyone did to my kids what was done to me, I would tear them apart with my bare hands.

 

*ahem*

 

However, the PP is right in saying that you could be denying yourself a lot of joy. My own experiences as a child made/make me want to provide and do that much better for them.

 

Women are tough - we have to be! Don't worry that your wife won't/can't handle it - she can. It will take some adjustments but eventually you find what works.

 

I also agree that it sounds like you will miss the freedom of no children more than the other issues. That's understandable to a point - sometimes I'm bitter about the fact that I had to grow up so fast and didn't get to experience just "being a kid" as long as most of my friends. Some days I wish hubby and I could just pack our bags for the weekend and head out for a getaway.

 

But when that baby enters the world, and you hear him/her cry for the first time, nothing else matters. It's a feeling that's just completely indescribable.

[Cecelius]

Home management is something of a calling, and not a job.

 

For one thing, you are more in control of what you do, how you do it, the standards you live to, etc., than a person on a paid job.

 

Generally, it's hard to get fired from being a housewife, unlike people working paid jobs.

 

Lastly, its a lot of unstructured free time that CAN get pizzled away.

 

All I know is that when I was married, if I'd known then what I know now, I would have told my wife that working outside the house was the best thing and that we could hire a cleaning service or something.