Spectre Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 It's just a case of agree to disagree. If your instincts tell you something's off and the trust is in question, confront or leave, don't go into people's private stuff - that's how I see things. I couldn't live with, never mind marry, someone I can't trust totally or have suspicions about. But sometimes instincts can be wrong, and if the person invades privacy and turns out to be wrong, I think that is something a couple truly in love with each other can get over. The vibe I got from the OP wasn't that he was into virgins, more that he has trust issues and / or sees things pretty black and white, she wanted to be with him so much that she told him what he wanted to hear then covered her tracks either because she was afraid of letting him down or because she didn't know how to come clean. But you aren't saying why you have the vibe he was into virgins. I saw nothing in his post to indicate this to me, he seemed confused as to why the girl would lie. So are you getting this vibe off something he actually said? Being worked up about things she said to her friends about him after their breakup doesn't seem that big of a deal to me in the grand scheme of things. If you can't get over that type of stuff, you need to develop a thicker skin or not get into a long term relationship in the first place, IMO. Eh, if you're saying a person should be able to get over their spouse talking trash about them and laughing at them for crying then they should be able to get over a breach in privacy as well. But I'm sorry, you don't make fun of a guy for crying. There is a difference between a girl venting over a relationship and a girl just flat out being cruel and manipulative. The OP's not been back since is first post anyway so not sure he's really that concerned about other people's reactions... True, but if you're saying the guy said something in his post that gave you these vibes..I guess I'm just curious because that means I must of missed whatever he said to give you this impression. Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 But sometimes instincts can be wrong, and if the person invades privacy and turns out to be wrong, I think that is something a couple truly in love with each other can get over. But you aren't saying why you have the vibe he was into virgins. I saw nothing in his post to indicate this to me, he seemed confused as to why the girl would lie. So are you getting this vibe off something he actually said? Eh, if you're saying a person should be able to get over their spouse talking trash about them and laughing at them for crying then they should be able to get over a breach in privacy as well. But I'm sorry, you don't make fun of a guy for crying. There is a difference between a girl venting over a relationship and a girl just flat out being cruel and manipulative. True, but if you're saying the guy said something in his post that gave you these vibes..I guess I'm just curious because that means I must of missed whatever he said to give you this impression. Invasion of privacy is a deal breaker for me I'm afraid, for no other reason than I have nothing to hide and would never lie to my partner. I would take any suspicion put on me badly because I'd know it is based on nothing. I didn't get the impression the girl in the OP was cruel or manipulative, maybe naïve, immature and not quite with it but I didn't see any bad intent or purpose to her lie. Happy to be put straight by the OP, though. I didn't get the vibe that OP had a preference for virgins (no biggie if he were, to each their own), more that he was insecure, over-sensitive and black and white in the way he deals with things - that's what I meant in my previous post, apologies if I didn't make it clear. Link to post Share on other sites
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