Given up coundn't care less anymore

[wizard08]

Ok I don't expect anyone to actually answer this post seeing as how many people just look at the topics anyway,me and about two other people on this board seems like the only ones who understand your situation and what your talking about. I know where your coming from when you hear cliche after cliche and want to rip somebodys lips off if they say another pasted cookie cutter line or quote

 

The facts are girls are confusing they do only give certain kinds of guys reciprication. They do pre judge guys they think are mean, ect when they don't even know you, they do send mixed messages and they do belittle you and make you feel like crap.

 

Personally I don't think sites like these help our kind emensly, no disrespect I'm sure most of you people in here are cool people, but it sites like these seem more involved in the people who has somebody already. The odds are stacked up against us because

 

A)We are men and by some unwriten law are supposed to initiat everything and put swallow our pride even if it does hurt

 

B)Are largely over populated with the male gender and outnumbered.

 

C)We don't have a choice wether to ask or not because unlike women who don't have to risk humiliation rejection and a whole horde of stupid men who are brainwashed by society into believing that is just the way it goes and your not a man unless you listen to other people and follow.

 

Basically we are cursed screwed in a bad way.

 

That is why I have just given up because to me it's just not worth the stress and mind games that mess up your mental well being.

 

All I'm waiting for is a scientific breakthough to occur when somebody comes along and hands me a quick solution to block out and kill any type of lonelyness and desperate need of a relationship. Sort of like those munks and nuns have just without having to give up luxury items and my freedom :eyebrow:

 

What I don't want is somebody telling me what to "suck it up and be a man"

 

"Be patient and wait" l

 

"Not to give up"

 

"that it's my fault"

 

What I do want is phone numbers to real people who never found love and are totally happy.That would really make my day.

[bluetuesday]

okay. i could rip into you here, but i'm not going to.

 

you sound genuinely hurt and clearly don't need the hassle.

 

what i will say is you've made sweeping assumptions about women all being a certain way and society placing certain expectations on men they cannot escape from, and are now wallowing in self-pity about your life.

 

now, it may be true that some women have f***ed you over. it may be true you can't get women to treat you fairly. you may indeed have had a series of horrible things happen to you through no fault of your own. if that's the case i'm sorry.

 

but do me a favour. go back and read your post and see if you can hear how you sound.

 

you don't want people to tell you it's your fault, huh? why not? it may very well be your fault, but the fact you don't want to hear that tells me everything i need to know about why you're in a mess and posting this rant.

 

you thinking you're right and everyone else is wrong is bullsh*t. nothing is that black and white. but if you refuse to acknowledge that any of this is possibly your doing, nothing is ever going to change for you.

 

this smells to me like a nasty case of the self-fulfilling prophecy. because you have been dumped on in the past you expect to get dumped on every time. and because this is what you expect, you pick women or situations subconsciously that fulfill your expectations of what the world is like, i.e. you set yourself up to get dumped on again so you can turn round and tell yourself you were right. women are bitches after all. and you probably don't know you're doing it.

 

to find nice women (and i assure you, we're out there in droves) you need to do several things.

 

very importantly, you need to believe we exist.

 

next, you need to be the sort of man nice women want to meet. that means open, communicative, friendly, approachable, honest, caring.

 

i'm not going to tell you to sit it out and it'll all be okay. i'm going to tell you that you have the power to make your life whatever you want it to be. if you want to be alone and to believe bad things about half the population and believe that no woman will want you, you will make it happen. you have made it happen. now you need to unmake it.

 

you need to grab life by the balls and throw your hat into the ring again. yes, you may get hurt, relationships are messy. people are messy. life is messy. but carrying the bitterness of hurt around with you is almost guaranteed to ensure the failure of your future relationships.

 

make a choice, wizard. you clearly don't want to be alone or you wouldn't be hoping in vain for science to invent a cure for your loneliness.

[ggallin13]

Originally posted by wizard08

Ok I don't expect anyone to actually answer this post seeing as how many people just look at the topics anyway,me and about two other people on this board seems like the only ones who understand your situation and what your talking about. I know where your coming from when you hear cliche after cliche and want to rip somebodys lips off if they say another pasted cookie cutter line or quote

 

The facts are girls are confusing they do only give certain kinds of guys reciprication. They do pre judge guys they think are mean, ect when they don't even know you, they do send mixed messages and they do belittle you and make you feel like crap.

 

Yes, girls are confusing. I have only recently learned the entire problem is trying to figure them out. Don't. Any girl who belittles you and makes you feel like crap shouldn't be in your life anyway. Demand to be treated the way you think you deserve, bro.

 

Personally I don't think sites like these help our kind emensly, no disrespect I'm sure most of you people in here are cool people, but it sites like these seem more involved in the people who has somebody already. The odds are stacked up against us because

 

I like this site, personally. It has helped me to read about other people's issues and understand that I am not the only one going through whatever I am going through.

 

A)We are men and by some unwriten law are supposed to initiat everything and put swallow our pride even if it does hurt

 

Yep. Kinda sucks. You shouldn't swallow your pride, though, ever. Realize that as the one who usually makes the first move, you are the one choosing who you interact with. The better you make your choices, the better things will work out in the long run.

 

B)Are largely over populated with the male gender and outnumbered.

 

Actually, there are more women on the planet than men.

 

C)We don't have a choice wether to ask or not because unlike women who don't have to risk humiliation rejection and a whole horde of stupid men who are brainwashed by society into believing that is just the way it goes and your not a man unless you listen to other people and follow.

 

Rejection is no big deal, man. In fact, the more you don't care about rejection the less you get rejected. Weird, but true.

 

Basically we are cursed screwed in a bad way.

 

I am sure that there a numerous things that women don't like about how relationships work, too. Everybody's cursed if you look at it that way.

 

That is why I have just given up because to me it's just not worth the stress and mind games that mess up your mental well being.

 

I don't think that it is possible to give up, but I wish you luck in that endeavor, if that is what you want.

 

All I'm waiting for is a scientific breakthough to occur when somebody comes along and hands me a quick solution to block out and kill any type of lonelyness and desperate need of a relationship. Sort of like those munks and nuns have just without having to give up luxury items and my freedom :eyebrow:

 

Ask yourself why you are lonely and why you have to be in a relationship. Be happy on your own or nobody will be happy with you. Totally cliche, but totally true.

 

What I don't want is somebody telling me what to "suck it up and be a man"

 

"Be patient and wait" l

 

"Not to give up"

 

"that it's my fault"

 

What I do want is phone numbers to real people who never found love and are totally happy.That would really make my day.

 

I have never been in love and I have never been happier in my life than I am right now. It was rough at times in the past, but I learned from it and I really like where I am and where I am headed.

 

And think about this: If you have had all of this unhappiness and trauma from relationships (enough to make you "quit") then it probably wasn't love at all. I am sure you thought it was, but it wasn't. How could you love someone who belittles you, for example?

[Clone56]

Amazing post...i have loved and do have some what social skills but i loved the post. One thing i thought there is more women in the world then men but maybe im mistaken. But what I wonder is why everywere u go is one massive sausage fest. And if there is one o two hot girls they get swarmed like a hawk by all the guys which leaves little chance for us nice guys. Hmm weird but whatever.

[jp79]

I hear you Wizard! I have come to expect very little from most women out there in the area of romance. Don't get me wrong though... I don't see most men in any better light either! I think most people, men or women, play the game along the lines you've mentioned, which is really horrible when you're on the receiving end of someone's bad attitude. But like another poster, I would remind you that this kind of behaviour is not true of ALL women (or men)... you just have to be on the lookout for the exception. Don't give up on the world!

 

The big question is how do you find the "exception". My own take (because I'm just as disillusioned as you, if you haven't noticed) is to re-evaluate what I want in life, and how I want to achieve it. For instance, I've completely abandoned the concept of "dating". I don't believe in it, don't think it's a good idea, and, honestly, it's just something that people have been doing for the last few decades (maybe one day I'll rant about it this on another thread). I'm no longer looking to "date" women. I am putting all my energy into making friends, and really building those friendships. Not only is this good networking, but my bet is that you have a better chance of finding that special someone this way (Of course there are drawbacks, and I can't say yet if this method works....) But anyway, this is just one approach. You might find another one that suits you more.

Just follow my 2 pieces of advice (please):

1. Don't give up on women. There ARE nice ones out there (admittedly rare... but I've met a couple).

2. Don't let them step on you either (like the ones who have twenty guys lined up around them, as mentioned in your post. Yeah, they MAY be nice... but very likely they aren't so nice. Keep your guard up, and if they turn out to be full of themselves or noncommital, move on. You can do better).

 

Good luck.

[amerikajin]

I was in my mid 20s before I finally started "getting it" when it came to women, and even then, I only "got it" a little bit. I'd say only in the past 18 months to 2 years have I really begun to understand the dynamics about relationships - and even now, I still screw things up. The point I want you to remember - if nothing else - is that fortunes can and do change.

 

But you know what? It's like everything else in life: if you want to be good at something you don't understand too well, you have to commit yourself to some serious study on the subject. Then you have to practice, practice, practice. And think of love/dating as something like intense martial arts practice: you're going to get your ass kicked the first few months you study, but over time, you learn from your mistakes, and you will eventually become the master if you can see it through to the end.

 

There are good web sites out there which can tell you a lot about how to attract women and how to behave around women. My advice is, be careful with the "speed seduction" web sites - speed seduction can work if you don't mind being a fake and all you want is a quick lay, but it won't really get you where you want to go. If you need help, PM me and I can give you a list of my favorites.

[Natural9]

206-366-5876

[ratzskinakie]

Do you really think ALL girls are evil?, ALL girls are confusing?, ALL grils give crap?, ECT...

 

I used to draw similar conclusions to you.

 

Now I like being behind the drivers seat where I can choose who I want to dance with or date (even though Ive never asked for a date), while there are many girls out there (unfourtanante) that cant ever get any dates because while they are ugly they also truly beileve in the philosophy that guys should ask them out. You dont think it hurts them?

 

I used to draw conclusions that girls may hate me, girls are playing mind games... no dude, they are human just like me and you.

 

IF YOU WERE A GIRL, and EVERY SINGLE GUYS WANTED YOU, WOULD YOU SEEK OUT A GUY WITH THE ATTITUDE YOU PRESENTED ON THIS BOARD? You said you wanted someone who is totally happy (who wouldent), are you totally happy yourself? (because it sure doesent sound like it). and if your not, then what makes you think girls should deserve to be with unhappy you when you want happy them?

 

Ive been asked out by hot girls, been flirted by girls ive least expected would flirt with me (because I thought they were bitches b4 they flirted with me, of my unlogical assumtions). BUT I never hooked up with any because I had Social Anxiety at that time, and of my negative overganeralizations. I finally realized and admited I had a problem, got it fixed. Now I have stopped blamming society, even though I still dislike many areas of society. Infact im still the same person I used to be, except not depressed, not negative all the time, happy, more rational, got more friends, ect... The only difference is that I don't dwell on the negative things that I used to dwell on, and dont believe on many negative stuff that I used conscousley believe.