how do i get my girlfriend to open up?

[Robert]

My new girlfriend and I are having a hard time talking to each other. I am her first boyfriend but when we were friends we could talk about anything. What should I do to get her to open up to me cause now shes really shy. I want this relationship to work, but its kinda hard when there is little or no talking between us. What should I do to get her to open up?

[Tony T]

You may need to give her time to adjust to the new type of relationship the two of you have. The nature of shy people is that once they get used to a situation and become more comfortable, they usually start loosening up.

 

Attempts to force her to open up or become more comfortable may backfire on you as she may resent the pressure. Just take things easy, make her feel as comfortable as possible but don't make a big issue of her silence.

 

Enjoy this time because the day may come when you can't get her to shut up.

[Juds]

As the relationship is still new, I would give it a little time for you both to adjust to your new "status". She is probably just getting used to the bf/gf thing.

 

Many times in relationships, trust and openness can be built by sharing private thoughts or feelings with one another. Perhaps if you share, and trust her with something special to your heart, then she will begin to trust more and more, and she will feel that you really trust her. She will probably reciprocate, although it may take a little time.

 

Perhaps instead of worrying so much about talking, you should spend these early days building your relationship by sharing joint experiences, so that you have shared memories together. That will generate conversation. See a good movie, then discuss it. Take a walk, have a laugh at a great comedy, go to an amusement park, rollerblade, - whatever interests both of you. The more you do this the more and more you will have in common. Take your time, and you'll be chattering away non-stop before you know it.