AprilTears Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 (edited) My brother is 47 years old and has had a rough year. His wife left him and they divorced after 20 years of marriage. In 2002 we lost our dad in an accident. He was missing for several days. My brother helped search and was ultimately one of the people who found him. He's been on anti depressants since and was doing fairly well until his divorce. He's been in despair since. He's been on the verge of losing his home for the past year. His relationship with his two teenage sons is strained. He is out of work. He's done nothing to help himself as far as finding work goes. My sister and I have tried to help as has our mom. None of us are surprised that he attempted this. He sent a text to my mom, his oldest son and another family member telling them he was ending it. They all went to his home, called the police and the police found him barely conscious. I'm not sure what all he took but he's in the ER now sedated waiting for it all to wear off and for his psych consult. I have offered him my house to live in with me I. I've tried to get him to work with me on some projects to make money. I invite him to dinner often, etc. I don't know what else to do. If he succeeds with killing himself it will destroy my mother (who lost her dad to suicide many years ago), me, my sister and my brother's children. He claims he's so broke there's no coming back from it. He claims his kids rarely speak to him. He says his ex wife is right that he isn't worth anything and he says he has no reason to be alive and he's "over it". Please. What else can I do? I love my brother very much and his children mean the world to me. I'm not sure my mother will be able to handle his loss. Im not sure my family will be able to deal with such a loss. I understand that he has to want to get better to succeed but there has to be something I can do to help? I would appreciate any and all suggestions. I'm going to see him tomorrow morning. I don't even know what to do or say. I do want to offer him my home again but not sure it'll help. But what will? Help? Edited April 13, 2015 by AprilTears Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sorry you are all hurting. He's definitely had a fair whack of shjtty times and I'm sure it will take a bit of work and time for him to start feeling better. Counselling will be beneficial. I hope he take the offer to stay with you. He's needs his loving family's support. Hold him close, when you see him. Hugs x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I'm not a doctor and I'm certainly not making light of the situation. My heart goes out to you, buddy. Sounds like he needs a vacation. To go do, be and see the beautiful. Maybe it could offer some perspective to in an otherwise perilous fight. Is your family financially stable enough to something silly like that? Maybe not a whole family trip, but the two of you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 If it resonates... I have a vacation rental I'd be willing to offer you and your brother a 10 day stay at. PM me if you're interested. ~Aloha~ 6 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Sorry about your brother. It's very admirable that you and your family are willing to help him. Try the National Suicide Prevention Hotline? 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Help for Someone Else I know that page is worded as if the suicide attempt hasn't happened yet, but surely they can help family members who are coping with an attempt. I hope they can help. I wish you and your family the best. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 All you can really do is tell him you love him & assure him things will get better. Encourage him to take his meds & work with his doctors. Meanwhile you get involved with https://www.afsp.org/out-of-the-darkness-walks & learn about walking out of the darkness. It's a group to prevent suicide & support the families. Hang in there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AprilTears Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 Thank you all very much for your replies. I love my brother so much and it's really hard to see him this way. They've been giving IV fluids to regulate the levels of alcohol in his system and once those are down they will do a psych evaluation. I guess then they will determine if he needs in patient care or if he will be released. I've been with him at the hospital along with my mom all morning. He says he just wants to go home. Other than that he's trying to sleep it off. I don't want him to go home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 He has to get on stronger medication and combo that with daily counseling. Hopefully he'll be admitted in the hospital for longer than just an assessment. You and your family are doing everything you can, it's wonderful that he has a lot of support. Don't give up no matter what and if he says no to your offers, just do it anyway. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Sisyphus Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Can you get his sons to let him know that they care? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Strange as it may sound, an unsuccessful suicide attempt is often a turning point where person regains the desire to live and move forward. He will need lots of medical and psychological help, but major depression is treatable and good progress can be made. I truly sympathise with your pain, but allow yourself a little optimism and hope. Love, Satu. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Sorry that you are going thru this. In the vast majority of "attempted" suicide cases, the individual is not really trying to kill themselves. They are looking for attention, help or to try to make others feel bad. Excluding the ones that fail due to unexpected circumstances, most attempts are done in a way that is not guaranteed to be fatal. Most who contact the authorities or other people before the attempt takes place, do so because they want to be rescued. Link to post Share on other sites
tobrieornottobrie Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 That's really hard, I'm really sorry that your family is facing this sitution. How is your brother doing now? My thoughts are with you and your brother. the brie's cheese knees Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I'm very sorry that you're going through this right now and I'm sorry for the sudden loss of your Dad. Could you suggest that your brother sell his house rather than lose it outright since you offered for him to live with you anyway? And then if he needs help to get it ready to show maybe organize the family to come help with that, his sons included? That may make him feel a little better about things by knowing that people really do care about him. Link to post Share on other sites
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