After 25 days of NC we are meeting up friday

[Joey07]

After 25 days of no contact. She didn't contact me directly she contacted my friend saying that she wanted me to call her. I waited two days and I called her then. She said she was calling to see how I was doing and how's things. I didn't give her much. I just asked her the same things back. She said she was sick and she said to pitty her and I said no. She got abit of a shock. In the end we spoke for about 30 minutes and told her I had to go cause I was going for coffee with friends (wich I was) and she asked me to go for coffee on Friday. I agreed and left it at that. For the first time since we broke up I felt strong and felt like I had control. After having all that time of no contact and having time to work on myself and reconnect with old friends and go on a date or two with someone new I feel stronger then ever. So today I had a good think about my relationship with my ex and weighed up what went wrong. Yes I lied to her. I never cheated on her but I did lie to her about things that I shouldn't have had to lie about. Yes I was abit clingy and needy. Yes I neglected her from seeing her guy friends. But there was also things she did wrong. I felt like she never respected me as a man. And never really tried to understand my past issues with family. And i just asked myself the question. Do I still want her back? After asking myself all day that question. My answer is yes. I do want her back. Yes I love her. And yes I could spend the rest of my life with her. But if that is to happen things would be different. I would set down my terms in the relationship. I know I can move on with my life without her. As much as I love her I know there is nothing I can do if she dosnt want to be with me. But in saying that I do want to try to get her back. Cause I will know if it didn't work that I atleast tried. I'm not nervous or wondering what I'm gonna say to her. I just know definitely that I do want a second chance in the relationship. I do love her. Just my question to you guys here is. Do you guys have any tips for me or anything that you guys think that would help my chances. And also I would like to thank you guys for helping me through such a tough time, I really do appreciate it

[Mrlonelyone]

Best of Luck with it.

[Cinnamonstix]

It's only natural to want someone back that rejected you or that you still love. But those are not good reasons in and of themselves to get back together.

 

I think you really need to TAKE SOME TIME to think about how compatible the two of you are in terms of values and goals in life. Things tend to not work out the first time for a reason. I suggest you make a list and write about what it was actually like to be in a relationship together. It's easy to focus on what you did wrong but I also think that when someone isn't right for you, they bring out the worst in you.

 

One thing I've learned in life from relationships is to not look back. If the relationship had a lot of issues and your needs weren't really being met, there is someone out there who will meet your needs and make you want to be a better person. Every day you spend with the wrong person is another day you could have been bettering yourself and free of baggage so that you are available to meet someone great. The only time I think I would ever consider getting back with an ex is if we had a great connection, similar values, goals and ways of being in a relationship but there were reasons outside of the relationship that prevented us from working, such as timing, distance, etc.