batjokes92 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I've only dated 2 men in my life and I have felt extremely uncomfortable with both. The first guy I dated turned out that he just wanted me as a "cuddle buddy" and backed off when he found out that I was inexperienced. This rejection completely and utterly broke my heart and I'm still not over it (I wrote a form post about him a week ago if you want to know the full story.) basically though, after he broke up with me he left breadcrumbs over facebook on a bi weekly basis so I was unable to move on. The second guy I tried dating I just did it because he asked and I felt that I needed some dating experience (I was not attracted to him) the date was SUPER un enjoyable and awkward. He didn't even sit down next to me when we went to see a movie! I told him to sit next to me after and he did but it was so embarrassing I left straight after the movie was over. I couldn't find it in my heart to reject him though so I let him reject me first. I'm 22 years old, inexperienced and rather put off by dating now. Yet I want a relationship. What should I do? Are some people just not cut out to handle the emotional stress of dating? I think I come off very cold and aloof in order to protect myself but this almost always backfires, I think it's just my personality though and I don't know how to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 You had 2 bad dates, one of which was with a weirdo, and the other you didn't even want. I wouldn't make any sweeping generalizations from a sample size of 2, epsecially when they are 2 non-typical situations. Date non-weirdo guys that you like and who like you, and you will find a very different experience. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I've only dated 2 men in my life and I have felt extremely uncomfortable with both. The first guy I dated turned out that he just wanted me as a "cuddle buddy" and backed off when he found out that I was inexperienced. This rejection completely and utterly broke my heart and I'm still not over it (I wrote a form post about him a week ago if you want to know the full story.) basically though, after he broke up with me he left breadcrumbs over facebook on a bi weekly basis so I was unable to move on. The second guy I tried dating I just did it because he asked and I felt that I needed some dating experience (I was not attracted to him) the date was SUPER un enjoyable and awkward. He didn't even sit down next to me when we went to see a movie! I told him to sit next to me after and he did but it was so embarrassing I left straight after the movie was over. I couldn't find it in my heart to reject him though so I let him reject me first. I'm 22 years old, inexperienced and rather put off by dating now. Yet I want a relationship. What should I do? Are some people just not cut out to handle the emotional stress of dating? I think I come off very cold and aloof in order to protect myself but this almost always backfires, I think it's just my personality though and I don't know how to change it. very cold and aloof in order to protect myself -- If you are doing this to protect yourself consciously, then that's not your personality. Just be yourself. Stop projecting or being stressed. Go into each date, enjoy it, be relaxed and be yourself. Manage your expectations and emotions, but don't be guarded. Let each person have the benefit of the doubt. You went out with a couple of "duds". You're going to meet more that don't work out than you will those that do. You have to accept that. You've only dated 2 so far. You're discouraged now? Be patient. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 If you can't attract the normal, decent men who you're attracted to, then you need to change something about YOU. It's not them. I lost weight..hit the gym...re vamped my wardrobe and re evaluated what truly does look good on me... I started to get better quality friends....etc. Like attracts like. You're having no luck because you can't attract the types of men that you want. It could be as simple as you're body language needs to be altered..... There's something holding you back. For sure..cute, non unpleasant looking young women get dates with decent and normal men unless they are too shy, aloof or something turns men away..... Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 You just have not met the right man yet sweetie. Keep your head up and keep dating, it will happen! When life gets you down, get back up again and dust yourself off, and get back on the horse... ride baby, ride! Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Keep dating and you'll get better Come here and let us know how they go and we'll give you tips/pointers (hey it's what I do! Lol). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 All you need is one. you're a baby..... keep going. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author batjokes92 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 If you can't attract the normal, decent men who you're attracted to, then you need to change something about YOU. It's not them. I lost weight..hit the gym...re vamped my wardrobe and re evaluated what truly does look good on me... I started to get better quality friends....etc. Like attracts like. You're having no luck because you can't attract the types of men that you want. It could be as simple as you're body language needs to be altered..... There's something holding you back. For sure..cute, non unpleasant looking young women get dates with decent and normal men unless they are too shy, aloof or something turns men away..... I'm not over weight. Im actually very slim and toned, I don't have much curves to me though. I think my face is ok, I used to look much worse in highschool. That's probably why I didnt have much going for me then. I did have a boyfriend "kind of". He turned out to be gay though lol. I think now though it has something to do with my personality, guys seem kind of interested when they first see me but once I start talking they kind of back off a bit. It might be my body language but that is so difficult to control. Maybe it's because I talk too much when I'm nervous and I say stupid things. Also, I'm very shy and I've stuck with the same group of friends for years and I'm not attracted to any of my current male friends. The two boys I dated I met online. I've tried making new friends but once again I wasn't attracted to any of the boys in the friend group. They made "make me a sandwich" jokes, very mature. one of them asked me out after I hung out with him one time and I politely turned him down, he seemed pretty upset by it and gave me the cold shoulder the next time we hung out so I'm kind of glad I said no. I'm not picky!!! I just don't want to date someone I feel no attraction for... I live in a small town in a house by myself, I'm alone a lot. Maybe if I move? Get a new job? Link to post Share on other sites
Author batjokes92 Posted April 13, 2015 Author Share Posted April 13, 2015 You had 2 bad dates, one of which was with a weirdo, and the other you didn't even want. I wouldn't make any sweeping generalizations from a sample size of 2, epsecially when they are 2 non-typical situations. Date non-weirdo guys that you like and who like you, and you will find a very different experience. LOL yes the first guy was definatley a weirdo, he was VERY attractive but I think his neediness and inappropriate behaviour made me put my guard up again after a few dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Vintage79 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Just go out and meet more people - cold, aloof, etc., doesn't draw out the warmest/best from people, which will certainly shut them down (and prevent you from being attracted to them). 2 people (of which 1 was only 1 date), is not even close to rough...just get some more experience under your belt, be safe, have fun, and make it enjoyable. Link to post Share on other sites
CharmieF Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 Keep looking - you're young! Maybe ask a close friend to introduce you to someone - sometimes our friends can spot decent people for us better than we can! Also, if it doesn't work out after a few more dates then embrace being single - like I said you're really young and it's not the end of the world Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 You're only 22 and have your whole life to date and get experience. It comes with time. It's funny because I had a few serious GF's when I was younger (18-22). But then didn't date at all for close to seven years. Was too focused on work, school, and my purpose in life. But I did spend a lot of time reading books on dating. getting sales training, learning about communication, and just talking to women in general. So then when I started dating again, my confidence was high and I was a different person. So for the last six years, women/dating have become like breathing to me now. However, when I was your age, I was exactly the same as you. So sometimes people just get started later in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Grilled_Salmon Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Look at the bright side, at least you got 2 dates and know what to expect/look for the next one, whenever that'll be. Link to post Share on other sites
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