Separated for Second Time, Want to Make it Work

[tinydancer324]

Two weeks ago, I told my husband of 3 years I needed a break, moved my stuff out and went to my brother's place a few hours away.

 

We have had a long, hard year. 2 months ago, I quit my job (an amazing and well-paying job) in New York to be with him in LA after a year of long-distance. He wasn't willing to live with me across the country even though we'd discussed how it would be a great opportunity ...long story. We spent 2-3 years not sure which city we should live in.

 

I felt resentful after quitting my job for him and not having anything to keep me busy. So I was not fully present with him, annoyed with him, not loving. We went to three therapy sessions and neither of us were fully engaged. I admit that I could have tried harder. I was just angry.

 

He thinks I am too indecisive...and I know I have been. He says I should have had a better attitude about moving back to LA.

 

Now he says that I'm being indecisive again (because I wrote emails telling him I want to make it work) and he wants no contact for a month. But two weeks in, I truly feel that I want to make it work with him.

 

Is there any hope for me? Do I try to find a job in LA even though he might not want to make it work? Please help, I am devastated at the thought of losing him forever.

[mimiMobile]

I would approach your situation from a respectful angle and show you mean what you feel by your actions.

 

Maintain NC for the rest of the agreed time - this will show your husband you are respectful and also who knows what else you will discover about yourself in the next 2 weeks.

 

Do begin applying for jobs in LA, around the area you both reside in, this will show him you are trying and would like to see both of your lives work together.

 

After the 1 month NC and when you talk to each other, he will see you are putting in the effort. And you can see what else he has done in the time you've been apart. Growth needs to happen from both parties, i believe