revelation??

[60sdreamgirl]

so i was talking to my good guy friend last night, getting a little tipsy, and whenever he gets drunk he starts talking about his old girlfriend. i keep telling him to go back to her because he can't seem to get over it, but he says 'nope she is marriage material, i just really want to have fun right now' and that is the best excuse he has. 'oh but we mesh so well together, she is perfect for me' comes right afterwards.

 

yet he restrains himself from talking to her because 'it will hurt her, and i don't want to lead her on into thinking i want something more, like a real relationship, right now'. yep he likes to have a lot of fun, seeing different girls. and says stuff like 'oh if it's meant to be we'll meet up later in life.' is this typical of guys?? especially when they care so much for a girl? because i was thinking this might apply to my situation and my ex, lol.

[eastern_mystique]

I don't know whether it's typical of guys in general (not having a lot of experience with them) but I think the whole "leaving it up to fate" and "if it's mean to be, it will be" outlook perhaps applies to my ex.

When my ex broke up with me, he told me a few hours later (once I'd managed to regain my composure and not punctuate my words with sobs) that he could imagine us in the future, after university, being together. And I was thinking "WTF???".

 

Personally, I think it's laziness, arrogance, selfishness, commitment-phobia and/or immaturity that causes men (or boys, as they should be called) to take this approach to someone they can see themselves being with one day. It's pretty stupid really, when you consider that as human beings we have so little control over our lives (known as fate/destiny) anyway, and that when there is something you do have control or power over, such as being in a relationship, that some people are content to just let it drift away and use the pathetic excuse of "if it's mean to be, it will be". Oh please. Thats like not studying for an exam and saying "if I'm meant to pass it, I'll pass".

 

This mindset probably applies more to younger men - I'm sure older men have enough experience and sense to know that when you've found someone great, you don't just let them go and say "maybe, one day". There's such a thing as meeting someone too early on - I often wonder if things with me and my ex would have worked better if he had been a few years older and more experienced, so he would have realised that the problems we had were so minor and fixable (compared to some of the stuff I read on here), and stayed to fight them instead of running away.

 

Probably your 'good guy friend' wouldn't be so content to let things coast along with his old flame if he knew that she wasn't waiting for him (if she is), thus taking away his security blanket. If she broke off all contact with him or found someone else, I bet he wouldn't be so complacent about leaving it up to fate.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by 60sdreamgirl

is this typical of guys?? especially when they care so much for a girl? because i was thinking this might apply to my situation and my ex, lol.

this is typical of both men and women 60SDREAMGURL. you can like or love someone so much that you know if you continue the relationship then you will end up getting married.

 

and if getting married is not on your agenda right now or in the near-term future then you just move on and see other people.

 

and if you're meant to be be together for the rest of your life then you will hook up down the road in some way, shape or form.

 

end of story.

[60sdreamgirl]

hehe thanks guys