Boyfriend making casual comments about other women

[gabaee]

I have been dating my bf for almost 7 months now and we are in a long distance relationship which so far, has been working great. He makes trips twice a month to come to see me and I also visit him in his country. So we keep the visits very frequent. He is very attentive and has told me how deeply he cares for me.

 

I have noticed that he makes very casual comments about women. For example these are some of cases:

 

1. He told me a story of how he was sitting next in the plane to a very strange girl who happened to be good-looking.

2. He made a joke the other day about how he should start smoking in Turkey (where I am living and he was visiting me). When I asked him why? he said "in order to talk to girls".

3. he makes similar comments (of course in the context of the conversation he is giving) about how some girls are pretty when we are in a public place.

 

This really bothers me and I am not sure if it is my sensitivity or not. It seems to be many women wouldnt lıke it. am I right?

 

Finally I had an open discussion with him and he was very surprised to hear my view. He claimed that as a European man he never had any issues with this with girls he has dated. I am Canadian, so he immediately said that my North American culture is more sensitive. I was very offended at how he used my culture as the reason for my sensitivity.

 

Anyway, I am very curious about how other girls feel about this topic and how you would handle it? Also I would like for guys to share their thougths.

 

Would a girl totally not care at all if her bf commented in such a way???

[TigerLilly78]

Just saying random women are pretty wouldn't bother me if they are they are there is nothing wrong with that now the "start smoking to talk to women" comment would ring alarm bells for me how ever. If you are with a women you do not say such things unless A your retarded or B your trying to piss off/upset her. The excuse about "your culture being sensitive" is a crock and im sure he knows it! bottom line he is being disrespectful to you and your relationship..

[SycamoreCircle]

First of all, let me say...aah Turkey, how I love you! What a great place for romance! Even if it is misaligned.

 

It doesn't matter if women of other cultures are not bothered by his comments, you're his girlfriend and you're bothered by it and you've openly communicated that. Good for you!

 

If he continues to make these comments, then you need to decide if it's a deal breaker. It doesn't matter if you're being overly sensitive or not. You don't enjoy it. If he respects and cares about you, he will stop doing it.

 

Be strong in your decision or you will suffer.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, his reasoning about your culture being too sensitive is BS. I'm also a Canadian living in Europe (Italy, obviously) and I can guarantee you that Italian-born women wouldn't appreciate such open commentary about other women either. So that is malarkey.

 

The fact that he's turning this around on you instead of considering how his comments make you feel isn't good. He's being a jerk. And he wants to smoke so he can meet other girls? He's also a complete idiot. Now that he knows how this affects you, see what he does. If it doesn't change, get rid of him.

[PegNosePete]

His excuse for insensitive, inconsiderate behaviour is BS. If he really has said that kind of thing to European women in the past then I would expect his face to be covered in bruises because European women tend to be more hot blooded.

[sandylee1]

His comments would be cause for concern to me. I'd go on to say, it would make me feel somewhat insecure because there is opportunity to cheat easily in a LDR. Those comments would put me off him, if I'm honest with you.

[smackie9]

He's manipulating you, by making himself look unavailable, to increase attraction.