To take a trip or stay home?

[amkxoxo]

So a guy friend of mine is having a huge birthday bash in a nearby city. He goes to school there, but frequently takes a train back to our home town, where I and other friends all reside and we all hangout. I was excited to go to this big birthday bash, but have since discovered that my two closest friends, that are both girls, cannot go. I feel stuck and so alone. I don't know how to take the train to where he lives, though I am sure I can easily figure it out. But I would have to take a train by myself and then walk around an area that I don't know. It makes me nervous. I am 22 and I just doesn't sound like a smart idea. I mentioned my hesitation to a close guy friend and he keeps suggesting that its easy and I could do it on my own. I don't understand why he thinks its okay for a single white small woman to walk at night by herself from a train station to an area she knows nothing about. I keep hinting to him that I would like to go with him and he keeps telling me he doesn't know his schedule and he doesn't know what he is doing yet. I doesn't seem like he wants to help me and I don't know why. He then suggested I go with other party goers but I told him that was just as bad as going alone because I don't know any of the other people either.

 

I really want to go but I am afraid of the situation I may be in. My friend, the one who is having the birthday bash keeps telling me he wants me there really bad. He even suggested I travel with my guy friend, but like I had said, he won't offer to make plans to go with me. I feel bad bailing. But I also have the issue of the end of the night. How do I get back? My friend said I can stay over his apartment and that a lot of the people coming in to town will be staying, but how many people can he fit in his apartment, and then I would have to travel with stuff to stay over. I would rather go home at the end of the night, but I don't know my way to the train and I don't know if anyone will go with me.

 

I finally got my guy friend to agree to go with me. It must be a guy thing for him not to even offer to go with me. I don't even think he thought too much about it. I am still hesitant about going. What if I want to leave at the end of the night and train home, and I have no one else to walk with me. It just makes me so nervous. I might end up stuck. I feel like I am thinking way too much into this and it might end up being the best night of my life and I am over thinking everything. I don't know any other woman at this party, just men.

 

I don't want to end up stuck. I am so nervous about this situation and I don't know what to do. I don't want my friend to be sad that I am not going to be there. I don't know what to do. I need advice.

[CarrieT]

At 22, you should know how to take a train.

 

How about you take a short trip - not involved with the party - first, to allay the fears?

[amkxoxo]

Where I am from trains are not popular. I know how to get a ticket and how to ride a train, but I am unsure of the stop I am supposed to get off and I am also unfamiliar with the area around the train station. walking a mile to my friends house alone, at night, as a single woman, doesn't sound safe to me. I would not spend money practicing beforehand, and I also go to school and work, so I have little time for that. My friend said he would go there with me, I am just nervous about my return. I appreciate that my friend is letting us stay at his place, but he lives in a very small place and is having a lot of people come from all over. I don't understand how he can have me, and many others all stay there. Where will everyone sleep. I would just rather go home and sleep in my own bed so I am comfortable and safe. But I may not be leaving until midnight to one in the morning.

[ASG]

At 22 you really should be more independent.

 

Google Maps is your friend. if you put in the place you're going to it will tell you how to get there by public transport, including the stop you need to get off at. Or just ask your friend. How difficult can that be?

 

As for walking alone.. Seriously? It's not UNSAFE for single white women to walk alone. I do it all the time, everywhere. Just be alert, don't be listening to music and keep your eyes peeled. I'm sure the area will probably be well lit and busy, considering there's a train station there.

 

Investigate your last trains as well. This is something you really need to know, as there is no point walking to the train station to find out there are no more trains. Bear in mind suburban trains sometimes stop early in the evening and it is entirely possible you won't be able to get home.

 

Also... you will be safe at your friend's. Maybe not the most comfortable, as I imagine there will be plenty of people scattered, but definitely safe. And if you're worried about waling around alone, then surely it would make more sense to just crash at your friend's and then make your way back home in the morning. You don't really need to travel with stuff. Just a toothbrush, really. Shower and change once you're back in your own home.