Does She Like Me?

[Holmes85]

Road,

 

She hasn't giving me anything "solid" to ask her out.

 

If you aren't sure and you have a negative feeling about it, its better to wait and see how things proceed instead of jumping ship.

 

I personally believe that if she is interested, she won't give up that easily and would also give me something solid, she on the other hand has been saying / doing disastrous things when I'm around, could be because she's nervous around me or maybe she genuinely likes me as a work-colleagues.

 

Either way it's not smart to pursue someone, who runs hot & cold on you. If she's like that before the relationship, imagine how she would be like once she's in a relationship. She has some issues to work out on.

 

In my opinion, it's better to observe right now and nothing more, I would be working in her department soon as well, if she's really interested, I think she would make itself known in time. If she doesn't, it's okay as well.

[BreakOnThrough]

Please Man, for your own sake, just give it up. It's not healthy at all to continue on the way you are. You deserve a lot better than allowing yourself to get all wrapped up in something that's never going anywhere. Here, I'll spell it out for you, keep it in your wallet and every time the thought of her pops in your head, look at it.......Ready?.......

 

 

SHE"S NOT INTERESTED! I DESERVE BETTER!!!

[preraph]

I guess she told the friend she doesn't date guys she works with, so as long as you trust that the friend was doing her bidding, then that's the end of it. Also, it didn't help that you talked about another girl openly that you rejected because they all knew her. Now she knows you'll gossip about her whatever happens.

 

Truly, you missed some golden opportunities to ask her out before you were told she doesn't date work people. Women just don't like fearful guys. I get why you're fearful at work, but then so is she, so...someone had to man up and make the move and take the risk. And if neither of you are willing to take the risk and apparently you're not, that's the end of it.

[Heracles]

 

The fact that she blew you off pretty much sums up she's one of those attention whores. Sorry to put it so bluntly but it's clear that she wants her ego stroked and nothing else.

 

Best to forget about her. She just wants someone to chase her and make her feel better about herself... and when you actually do something about it, she runs like a little child.

 

I had a crush at work too. I gave him so many hints, all the flirty come-hither looks that even a Disney Princess would envy, and when he finally asked me out, I said YES and we've been dating since. We play no games.

 

If she is genuinely interested in you, she will go out with you. If she is pulling all these BS flirt games just to get your attention, she's just an attention whore.

 

Forget it, Holmsy. You deserve much better.

 

This answer is absolutely spot-on. I am dealing with something similar. It's just attention whoring.

 

If she was interested in you, she wouldn't confuse you.

She just wants your attention. Even though she is not interested in you, it makes her feel good to know that you are and to know that if she wanted you, at the drop of a hat, she would have you.

Whenever she is feeling down, she just has to come around, flirt with you and see how much you desire her and she gets an ego boost.

 

At the end of the day, it is your life. You make your own choices and live with them. You can:

1 - Make a move and get a definite answer

2 - Ignore her no matter how nice and flirtatious she gets. That will be extremely hard for you

3 - Let her play with your feelings like a yo-yo; suffer and be her ego-boost ATM

[Holmes85]

I didn't notice that there were replies since my last post, so apologies for the late check-in.

 

My current status with her is that I have completely lost interest in her. I just put everything she does as "being nice" category and stop at that.

 

She on the other hand has been very active with me lately, asking to try my lunch out to touching me 3x times while talking to me, I haven't proceeded with the touching back, because I don't want to.

 

Today she made a comment towards me and said "you are so mysterious" I jokingly said "Is it a good thing or a bad thing" She said "I am not sure, what to say if it's bad or good", I made a joke there and cut the conversation short.

 

I am not paying that much attention to her, but she makes her presence from time to time known.

 

If she's that much trouble before even dating and considering some of the actions that she has done, some I told here, some I didn't, I don't think I am up for a person like that to be in a relationship, let alone friendship, being work colleagues is fine with me, everything else is just me practically being nice to her and thats about it.

[truth_seeker]

She also said to me last Wednesday "hey (my name) you are one cool dude ;D"

 

That line tells me she's not interested. If a girl is into you, they do not tell a guy "you are one cool dude"... That's her way of saying you're a nice guy she likes attention from.

[truth_seeker]

I didn't notice that there were replies since my last post, so apologies for the late check-in.

 

My current status with her is that I have completely lost interest in her. I just put everything she does as "being nice" category and stop at that.

 

She on the other hand has been very active with me lately, asking to try my lunch out to touching me 3x times while talking to me, I haven't proceeded with the touching back, because I don't want to.

 

Today she made a comment towards me and said "you are so mysterious" I jokingly said "Is it a good thing or a bad thing" She said "I am not sure, what to say if it's bad or good", I made a joke there and cut the conversation short.

 

I am not paying that much attention to her, but she makes her presence from time to time known.

 

If she's that much trouble before even dating and considering some of the actions that she has done, some I told here, some I didn't, I don't think I am up for a person like that to be in a relationship, let alone friendship, being work colleagues is fine with me, everything else is just me practically being nice to her and thats about it.

 

Tell her you met someone else and then say "sorry, gotta run" ... that will get under her skin.

[Holmes85]

truth_speaker,

 

I do believe that it gets under her skin, that is probably why she got so fired up, when I mentioned the other girl. But in hindsight her comment was generally not acceptable in the way she presented it.

 

But either way if it gets under her skin, that's her problem, I've moved on and don't want any sort of friendship besides being work colleagues with her.

Edited January 27, 2016 by Holmes85

[Holmes85]

Yesterday I was quite surprised with the interaction I had with her, normally I would have brushed everything away like I've been doing lately, but her interaction yesterday got me thinking that where is she going with this.

 

All of us co-workers were having lunch yesterday and out of nowhere in front of other co-workers she popped up the question

 

Her: I've heard that you are going to the cinema tomorrow?

 

Me: That is correct.

 

Her: Are you going out with someone?

 

Me: Yes I am.

 

Her: Is it a lady you are going out with?

 

Me: Yes it is.

 

Her: Who is it though?

 

Me: It's my sister.

 

Her: oooooh

 

Then I continued to talk with the other co-worker and she questioned again saying

 

Her: So have you got any recommendations lately for a girlfriend?

 

Me: (surprisingly i looked at her and said) I've got a few recommendations.

 

Her: How far are you going to take those recommendations?

 

Me: Don't know, lets see how it goes.

 

Her: Is it serious?

 

Me: Well, I don't jump into relationships that sudden, i take my time.

 

Her: Oh I see, do you really want to be in a LDR that you mentioned a while ago, is it something for you? Do you love her as well?

 

Me: (I threw a joke at this point and said "did I tell you how pretty your eyes are?")

 

Her: -she rolled her eyes and said "My God, you have said that plenty of times now"- (i've joked with other co-workers like that in order to change the topic before)

 

Other (Male) Co-Worker: Hahaha, I think you need a new line.

 

Me: Indeed I do.

 

Her: I get it, that you don't want to share more information with us.

 

Me: Well ladies, lets talk about other topics instead of whether I've a girlfriend or not, I get pestered about it a lot more at home already, no need to continue the conversation here at work too (lol).

 

Other (Male) Co-Worker: Haha, well that's an interesting topic indeed.

 

 

That is the conversation we had yesterday, I don't know what to make of it to be honest, maybe I've been turned off by the comments / actions that she did a couple of months ago and just brush everything off and don't take it seriously anymore, but i thought this conversation was worthwhile to get an opinion on.

[Lifeissomething]

Stop it.

Just stop.

 

As someone who was at one point talking marriage with the coworker I dated, and have since broken up: DO NOT POOP WHERE YOU EAT!

 

I can't stress enough. This is a horrible idea.

 

I didn't read all of the thread, so I could be mistaken, but it's been almost a year and you're still questioning? Move on. If you two were a fit, you wouldn't be questioning and probably have already done it.

 

Furthermore, I have seen a many of girls act the way she is towards you, with and without boyfriends. She probably doesn't even think she's giving you signs. In fact, I would I would say you're really really really grasping for signs. Sorry, but that's how it strikes me.

 

A good sign is feeling so much tension that you're struggling to keep your lips off of her and you can tell she's the same. A great sign is her waiting for you after work to walk to your car, or all the little hints to be around you, or involve herself.

 

Do you ONLY talk to her at work? What about facebook or gmail chat, what about texting, pictures and day to day activities? If it's just work interactions I'm suspect.

 

Anyways, you're being spared. Dating at work is not fun if it goes sour....chances are it will go sour.

[Holmes85]

Lifeissomething,

 

Thank you for your Input on the matter.

 

A lot has changed since March & I've come to the conclusion that she's the flirt type, she flirts with anyone to get her things done. She is also a proper back stabber, not that she did any of it with me, but I know her character well now and how she interacts with others and it just disgusts me seeing for what she is.

 

Some people can interpret the things I've mentioned as flirt others as being 'normal', it boils down to what I think of it, since I'm

the one who has had interaction with her, she was and still is definitely flirting with me, she has mentioned to meet up after work, but I doubt I'll want to catch up with her.

 

She likes the attention she gets, when the attention ceases she throws the tantrum, that's why she has been hot & cold with me. She is nothing but trouble, I've removed my attention completely off of her and I am dead sure now she's gonna be more aggressive in terms of flirting, but it doesn't matter, she had her chances and now I see her for what she really is, I've taken a mental note not to engage with this girl anything besides work, she reeks of trouble and her reputation isn't that well at the work place either, she's a chaotic person & I don't want to be a part of that.

[preraph]

Well, I guess that just proves there IS something to be said for wading in slowly with work mates. You were able to get to know her without messing up your work environment too much (though now she may be pouty or something). It's very tricky at work. Don't give up the circle of friends you've made though. They seem very interested in your dating life and if i were you I'd tell them that the next person who asks about a girlfriend has to step up to the plate.

[jessicastevens]

I've come to the conclusion that she's the flirt type, she flirts with anyone to get her things done. She is also a proper back stabber

 

Once you realized these things it should have been a deal breaker. You need to let her go once and for all.

[Holmes85]

I think preraph sums it up perfectly.

 

I personally believe that since I am not being that much receptive of her actions lately, she would also stir some things up or try to against me.

 

Since I work with her, I have to tread carefully, I have to maintain a working environment with her, so the team work doesn't get hindered in the process.

 

With all the details I've put so far in this thread, I think it's very safe to say that she's immature and doesn't handle things professionally, which also would be her downfall in the coming months.

 

With co-workers like these, who run hold & cold on you, my advice to everyone would be to not play their game, if you let them play, they would drag you down to their level and beat you at the game they know the best how to play, you keep your distance with co-workers like these, also not to engage more than needed to and you would be fine.

 

They would probably still use their old techniques and create problems for you, but as long as you know the person and how they operate you would be fine.