3 Years and 7 Months all gone...

[Ruby65]

Really? I just don't want to upset her, like I'm just the type of person who doesn't want to upset anyone so I just do my best to keep her happy because I love her

 

What would make her happy is if you will continue to stay in touch and be her safety net while she comfortably moves on without you.

 

This means for the next several months she'll reach out whenever she's feeling bored/lonely/unloved with "friendly" texts that make her feel better, but give YOU false hope, delaying your own healing.

 

Not that she cares.

[diamondgirl]

sorry but i agree with previous posters she made a lot of bold statements. sounds like she's been detaching for a while and she views this as permanent. the longer you hold on to false hope, the more you will delay your healing.

 

delete her on all social media, don't contact her and just let it go. its like ripping off a bandaid but you will see in time that you do not need her. its like breaking an addiction. you deserve to be with someone who loves and appreciates you and sees a future with you.

 

she said pretty straightforward how she is feeling so try not to overanalyze and look for loopholes; just accept that she doesnt want to be with you and it will be too painful to remain in contact.

[imbax]

Thanks for the reply guys. I am probably blinded by false hope as she has broken up with me in the past for the same reasons yet has gotten back to me because she missed me after a week of no contact. After reading everyone's posts I feel so damn sad and upset. I can't even sleep anymore, one moment I've accepted it, the next my subconscious is ripping me apart. I hate myself for feeling this way. I just want her to want to be with me again

[Ruby65]

Yes, you are blinded by false hopes.... and the mistaken notion that your situation is unique.

 

Keep reading through the threads here, see other peoples' stories and you'll start to recognize your ex in the exes of others.... nothing she said was that original or unique, and you can expect her to drop "breadcrumbs" whenever she wants your support during the next few months... this is why people here generally recommend going No Contact -- so she can't keep you on the backburner.

 

The breakuprecoveryguide which I've posted for you a few times has good information on how to handle things like not sleeping, not eating, not staying in contact, how to feel better, how to stay positive and get through the worst of it!

 

Good luck to you.

[imbax]

Yes, you are blinded by false hopes.... and the mistaken notion that your situation is unique.

 

Keep reading through the threads here, see other peoples' stories and you'll start to recognize your ex in the exes of others.... nothing she said was that original or unique, and you can expect her to drop "breadcrumbs" whenever she wants your support during the next few months... this is why people here generally recommend going No Contact -- so she can't keep you on the backburner.

 

The breakuprecoveryguide which I've posted for you a few times has good information on how to handle things like not sleeping, not eating, not staying in contact, how to feel better, how to stay positive and get through the worst of it!

 

Good luck to you.

 

Thanks I have read it the first time you posted it.

 

I'm really broken inside I gave this girl everything, I was there for her whenever she needed me. And when I told her she didn't do the same for me she called me nagging and she told me I should just love her the way she is. She rarely showed affection or anything but I got accustomed to that and accepted her that that was the way she was for the past 3 years. In the end she wasn't happy no matter how much I accepted her, she couldn't accept me

[imbax]

I'm going to try and become the independent person I once was before the relationship and focus on achieving goals in the immediate future. No contact for me is easy, and my ex hasn't said a thing to me so far and I doubt she will because I told her not to talk to me because I needed time. She was a great girlfriend because she understands and respects my wishes.

[geronimo]

Hey man, I feel your pain. I am also 23, I broke up with my ex of 5 years (who was also my first love, kiss, etc etc) 5 months ago today. You got to just forget her for now. I know its easier said than done, trust me, but its going to do you wonders. Block/delete her off everything - I know you don't want to do it cuz you don't want to seem weak or w/e but trust me its not worth keeping her on Social Media, its just going to stunt ur recovery. I found out a couple weeks after my ex dumped me that she started dating someone else cuz of social media and it killed me, honestly i wish I didn't know and now I am sickened by the thoughts of her being with someone else.

 

Like the posters have said before, you just gotta learn from this and move on, I had always been told that the first one rarely ever works out and is the hardest one to get over, and did I learn that the hard way. I always thought her and I would end up together, we talked about marriage, kids, future etc.

 

Last time i saw her she also told me she loved me alot and kissed me and everything and now she is with some other guy, I'm sure she had him lined up before she pulled the plug on our relationship and thats the sh*ttest feeling.

 

Anyways on the bright side, it does get better, sure i think about her from time to time but I am alot better now 5 months later. I am also disgusted at the thought of being with someone else and I have been on a couple dates but honestly I didn't even end up kissing the girl cuz I'm still not over my ex. It does make me sad that I'm still like this 5 months after the BU while shes with him doing god knows what but the truth is I can't stop it and she is no longer my gf.

 

Hopefully we'll both find someone better, who will truly love us and won't be able to give us up so easily. LIke u said you felt insecure in the relationship and tbh I kinda felt the same way and I don't ever want to be in that position again. As guys its not a natural position to be in and it really does mess with you. I truly believe in the fact that everything happens for a reason and I'm sure you'll find someone alot better and be thankful that this breakup happened which lead to you finding your next gf. So just focus on yourself bro, keep your head up high, im not going to lie, its going to be a really tough road ahead but you can keep posting here and talking to friends which will help alot. Goodluck. and please don't talk to her again, forget she ever existed.

[Fufu]

I'm going to try and become the independent person I once was before the relationship and focus on achieving goals in the immediate future. No contact for me is easy, and my ex hasn't said a thing to me so far and I doubt she will because I told her not to talk to me because I needed time. She was a great girlfriend because she understands and respects my wishes.

 

She "was" a great girlfriend. You will want someone who "is" a great girlfriend.

You will do fine, break up s*ucks, most people have to go through this one or a couple of times before they finally settled down.

[Ruby65]

I'm going to try and become the independent person I once was before the relationship and focus on achieving goals in the immediate future. No contact for me is easy, and my ex hasn't said a thing to me so far and I doubt she will because I told her not to talk to me because I needed time. She was a great girlfriend because she understands and respects my wishes.

 

She doesn't care about your wishes -- she cares about what feels best for her, which is why if you DON'T block her from contacting you, she'll be in touch anytime she's feeling bored/lonely/rejected... even though this will set you back in your healing and cause you pain.

 

You're still seeing her through rose-colored glasses because you still hope to reconcile.

[imbax]

Feeling like crap every morning and night when I wake up. I feel a lot better when the day goes by as I come to realise that she had been treating me quite bad for most of the relationship and I was lying to myself that she made me happy. I guess I enjoyed her companionship the most. I will post a longer post responding to the above person who is in the same situation as me sort of

[imbax]

I've been having a roller coaster of emotions feeing like it was my fault for always being there for her and being too available. I feel like my ex had the GIGS syndrome in that she told me that people were more happier with someone else that were more compatible. I feel like we were so happy in the relationship but she one day out of nowhere told me that she doesn't want to continue our relationship. I feel like the main cause of this is our new change in workplace and environment. I really hope she comes back to me, I'm in day 4 of no contact. My mood is usually like this:

 

Morning: sad, depressed, almost fighting back tears

Lunch: realisation nothing I can do and acceptance with a bit of denial

After work and night: happy and accepting because I felt like the things I did for her weren't reciprocated

 

Why do I have 4 seasons of feelings? Shouldn't it just be all sad?

[wizer]

So today when we eventually met up after my sports match, she said told me that these past 4 months she had been having doubts about our relationship. Can you believe this? She told me she loved me only 2 days ago and now she was breaking up with me. She told me that we always argue about the same things and she is sick of trying for me. She said that the only reason why this relationship has gone on for almost 4 years was because we were each others first love for everything, if I were someone else it would be over a long time ago.

 

It makes perfect sense, it's obvious from everything you wrote that she's been withdrawing from the relationship for a very long time.

 

Her telling you she loves you is not mutually exclusive of her coming to the realization that you are not the guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with and there are reasons- good reasons- that you state within your posts that she feels this way, and I'm sure lots of others why she believes this to be true. The main one being that she's sick of all the fighting. Do you know that in some relationships there is no fighting at all?

 

I'm with a woman for 3 years, and we have not had even one fight of any magnitude. A few disagreements here and there, a few "short tempered" moments for sure, but none of this "in your face" fighting and arguing.

 

Relationships do not have to be filled with conflict and strife, and she figured that out- long before you did or possibly ever will.

[imbax]

Inside I really really believe that she means it when she loves me. It's just sort of knowing that she loves and misses me, but can't be with me despite what everyone is saying.

 

Our relationship didn't have much fights, it was just smal disagreements and fights every now and then. It was more happiness than anything

[wizer]

I was referring to the part of your post where you say you fought a lot and she said you argue all the time about the same things.

 

Anyway, it seems that she was pulling back for a long time- you were low on her priority list, she preferred to spend time with friends rather than with you, she never initiated contact or planned dates together.. the writing was on the wall.

[hestheone66]

There are many types of love.

 

You have deep romantic feelings of love. However she is probably more at the brotherly love phase. I remember when this happened wuth my first husvand. We were together since I was 15. I always loved him. And as father of my children I always will. He was a good man. We were mostly happy we never fought.

The

However I was aware he loved me, more deeply. ..partly because he was more dependant on the relationship for his identity than I was.. I wanted more change than he was comfortable wigh. I dont believe in too manyscompromises. Because I loved him like a brother it was hard to sustain an intimate connection. . I needed a passionate connection while he didn't. You cant compromise on such a difference. . We have each found a more compatible partner because we loved each other enough to let go...I hope that makes sense.

 

until I realised I didn't want to be married I was quite distant as I was disengaging..because he was so emitionally dependant (didnt really have many friends) it contributed to the feeling I was being crushed as I didnt want to hurt him.

 

stay strong...after time youll be great friends as I can see you are bogh caring. ..what you think you want in your teens is not going to suit you as you mature. Like you said. .you were each others' first.. abc its difficult to imagine finding that level of familiarity with another. ..but you will.... keep posting

[imbax]

There are many types of love.

 

You have deep romantic feelings of love. However she is probably more at the brotherly love phase. I remember when this happened wuth my first husvand. We were together since I was 15. I always loved him. And as father of my children I always will. He was a good man. We were mostly happy we never fought.

The

However I was aware he loved me, more deeply. ..partly because he was more dependant on the relationship for his identity than I was.. I wanted more change than he was comfortable wigh. I dont believe in too manyscompromises. Because I loved him like a brother it was hard to sustain an intimate connection. . I needed a passionate connection while he didn't. You cant compromise on such a difference. . We have each found a more compatible partner because we loved each other enough to let go...I hope that makes sense.

 

until I realised I didn't want to be married I was quite distant as I was disengaging..because he was so emitionally dependant (didnt really have many friends) it contributed to the feeling I was being crushed as I didnt want to hurt him.

 

stay strong...after time youll be great friends as I can see you are bogh caring. ..what you think you want in your teens is not going to suit you as you mature. Like you said. .you were each others' first.. abc its difficult to imagine finding that level of familiarity with another. ..but you will.... keep posting

 

Thanks for that, I am different however I believe that there can always be compromise if two people loved each other deeply enough. Tonight I'm gonna post a list of pros and cons of our relationship to find some clarity.

[imbax]

Pros:

- We were each others firsts, the "one and onlys" - first love

 

- She made me so happy every time I saw her

 

- She drove me to push for my ambitions in life

 

- She was a sweet person who you could trust and tell anything and everything to

 

- She let me do anything and everything I wanted without being the typical overprotective jealous girlfriend

 

- I think she is beautiful and throughout our relationship many of my coworkers and friends have told me that she is so damn pretty (I am not going to lie, I loved the attention she got me)

 

- We did everything together and grew into each other so much and this changed both of us for the better

 

- We experimented with each other teaching each other how to kiss, how to have sex, how to do everything couples would do in a relationship

 

- She would fulfil my fantasies and I would fulfil hers as well

 

- We went overseas together for a month after 1 year of dating, good times

 

- She understood me when I was sad, happy, angry etc.

 

- She would bring positiveness into my life, whenever I needed it and gave me the light down the tunnel

 

- She was amazing in bed, I get so horny thinking about her

 

- She was an independent girlfriend who never relied on anyone

 

- She would offer and fight to pay for meals etc whenever we go out together

 

- She would eat like a pig and I loved that, she lived for food. I know many girls are always on a stupid 'diet' and that makes eating out with them miserable and restricted. She loved meat and we would go to the best places to eat. It made her and I HAPPY.

 

- Her smile would lighten my day up, she was so cute and adorable (at times)

 

Cons:

- She wasn't emotionally there at times when I needed her leading me to push for more and her to withdraw further. At times I felt insecure because she just wasn't there when I needed her and this drove her further from me.

 

- She was the type of person to rarely ring me. If she did ring, it was objective and never to ask how I was going or to talk any longer than she had to. I would also never ring her. Whenever we did talk, we spoke with awkwardness and she would get angry and withdrawn for no reason. (Which made me scared to ring her)

 

- After the first 6 months, her text messaging was very passive and lacked detail. Often, her response would take a very long time to get back to me. Sometimes she would give me a brief reply to my many texts and ignored the rest. I asked her why she rarely texted me (I felt like there was no effort throughout the whole relationship on her part)

 

- Sometimes she would have stress/emotional breakdowns which I have helped her out of so much throughout the relationship. Towards the end, she barely had these anymore (She is medicated on antidepressants)

 

- She would rarely ever attend stuff that involved me such as watching me play during soccer matches unless I nagged her to come to watch me

 

- She never visited me at my rural town that I am working at my new job this year. It is in the countryside about a 2 hour drive away from her place in the metropolitan areas. I was the one who drove to her every weekend. When I asked her that I would like her to come visit me. She told me that I had to understand she is not the safest driver especially on long distances therefore it was best she didn't drive.

 

- After the first 1 year of dating, she RARELY gave sweet stuff to me such as cards or small / big gifts when I had absolutely pampered her on special occasions such as Valentine's, her birthday our anniversaries etc. and received nothing in return on many occasions.

 

- She NEVER invited (well maybe twice in 3.5 years) me out with her friends.

 

- She RARELY came with me when I went out with my friends saying that she "didn't like my friends" or "I should go have fun on my own" etc.

 

- She would RARELY update me on what she was doing and her plans until she had actually done it. For example, she goes out with friends and she doesn't tell me she has gone until 1 hour before OR when she is actually out. I felt like I was in the dark a lot of the time as there was a lack of communication.

 

- We were different people with different interests and hobbies.

 

- She would always strive to be right with "girl logic" and did NOT want to compromise a lot of the time.

 

- There was RARELY affection after the first 6 months of dating even though I let her know that I would love it if she showed me a bit of affection every now and then, she was very passive and didn't initiate affection. (Holding hands, kissing, hugging etc.) I don't think I asked for too much, but she just told me she just wasn't an "affection showing" person like me. This made me the initiator for many affection related things and it felt very "one way".

 

- She was extremely stubborn and was always "right" in her own way to never backing down in anything

 

- Whenever she or I were overseas and the other was left back at home, she would RARELY text or ask me what I was up to or how I was going. She would NEVER tell me what she was doing and seemed like she didn't care. Her excuse was, "she wanted to give me space to the things I was doing overseas etc."

 

In the end, all the love we had for each other couldn't keep her with me. I am SO sad everything we have ever done for each other has been a waste and will soon fade into a sweet memory that we both had first love for each other.

 

I am at 4.5 days of NC and going strong, but your subconscious just wishes it didn't have to be like this. Too many memories and sentimental moments such as our first kiss, the first time she told me she was falling in love with me, the first time I asked her out etc. I have read some of the older postcards and birthday cards she got me and they are so damn sweet and I seriously miss the hell out of those times... I now have them all in a box to be forgotten about forever

 

I am going to be positive about our relationship, I have talked a lot of crap about it but I know it was GOOD. I know I was happy. It makes me happy to reflect that I have had such a great relationship with this girl. I will stand by her decision and respect it as she has shown me everything a guy could ever want. I am going to stop talking about this relationship so negatively just to make myself feel better, because in actual fact, I feel better thinking that it was such a great relationship and I have done my BEST to make it work. Hating on life and this relationship only sinks me deeper into something that it wasn't.

 

What are your thoughts guys?

[imbax]

Hey man, I feel your pain. I am also 23, I broke up with my ex of 5 years (who was also my first love, kiss, etc etc) 5 months ago today. You got to just forget her for now. I know its easier said than done, trust me, but its going to do you wonders. Block/delete her off everything - I know you don't want to do it cuz you don't want to seem weak or w/e but trust me its not worth keeping her on Social Media, its just going to stunt ur recovery. I found out a couple weeks after my ex dumped me that she started dating someone else cuz of social media and it killed me, honestly i wish I didn't know and now I am sickened by the thoughts of her being with someone else.

 

Like the posters have said before, you just gotta learn from this and move on, I had always been told that the first one rarely ever works out and is the hardest one to get over, and did I learn that the hard way. I always thought her and I would end up together, we talked about marriage, kids, future etc.

 

Last time i saw her she also told me she loved me alot and kissed me and everything and now she is with some other guy, I'm sure she had him lined up before she pulled the plug on our relationship and thats the sh*ttest feeling.

 

Anyways on the bright side, it does get better, sure i think about her from time to time but I am alot better now 5 months later. I am also disgusted at the thought of being with someone else and I have been on a couple dates but honestly I didn't even end up kissing the girl cuz I'm still not over my ex. It does make me sad that I'm still like this 5 months after the BU while shes with him doing god knows what but the truth is I can't stop it and she is no longer my gf.

 

Hopefully we'll both find someone better, who will truly love us and won't be able to give us up so easily. LIke u said you felt insecure in the relationship and tbh I kinda felt the same way and I don't ever want to be in that position again. As guys its not a natural position to be in and it really does mess with you. I truly believe in the fact that everything happens for a reason and I'm sure you'll find someone alot better and be thankful that this breakup happened which lead to you finding your next gf. So just focus on yourself bro, keep your head up high, im not going to lie, its going to be a really tough road ahead but you can keep posting here and talking to friends which will help alot. Goodluck. and please don't talk to her again, forget she ever existed.

 

Hey man I am truly sorry for your loss. This is how us bad boys are made huh? There's always that one girl who breaks our hearts and turns us into machines.

 

I kind of suspect my girl has also got a few boys lined up but that's not my say or in any of my control. She will realise that she has lost such a great boyfriend like me afterwards and I will not take her back unless she literally begs for forgiveness and will be willing to work towards the future, making amendments to past mistakes.

 

You are also right about the thought of your girl being with another man, it crushes you but you know what? We are the ones who come out on top because she can give her box away to anyone, but she will NEVER find guys like us that will be so damn committed. Most guys will just want to smash her box and be in an average relationship with no commitment. One day she will want to settle down, but trust me she will NEVER find guys as committed as us.

 

Moral of the story: it's easier to have sex with people than finding commitment from the right person. So don't worry too much about it because our exes have both lost great guys like us. We deserve a girl who is much more appreciative and is not afraid to commit to us and put in the same amount of effort.

 

EDIT: Yes with reference to the insecurity side of things, I am generally a secure guy. She just made me feel insecure with her withdrawn attitude and lack of affection. How would you feel if the girl you loved and supposedly loved you rarely initiated texts, didn't call you, didn't make plans with you, didn't introduce you to her friends, then told you it was all 'normal' because that's just the way she was? Yes, I am guessing a bit "insecure" for most people.

Edited April 23, 2015 by imbax

[imbax]

Guys I need your help, I am feeling very insecure and wanting to break NC after 1 week. My friend who was giving me support has mentioned that my ex is hot and I had the chance to bang her for 3.5 years and now I feel like the loss is even more significant and that I won't find another girl as hot as this one and as good in bed. I blocked off all major points of entry for contact and stalking including Facebook and "last seen" date on whatsapp...now I'm just playing the waiting game and trying to move on in life. I just hope that she will find that being 100% free is crap and she will miss me and the old times and come back

[imbax]

Hi everyone just an update I broke no contact today after a week and she read the message and didn't respond. I'm back to square one now I'm just gonna shut up and try keep strong

[geronimo]

Hey man I am truly sorry for your loss. This is how us bad boys are made huh? There's always that one girl who breaks our hearts and turns us into machines.

 

I kind of suspect my girl has also got a few boys lined up but that's not my say or in any of my control. She will realise that she has lost such a great boyfriend like me afterwards and I will not take her back unless she literally begs for forgiveness and will be willing to work towards the future, making amendments to past mistakes.

 

You are also right about the thought of your girl being with another man, it crushes you but you know what? We are the ones who come out on top because she can give her box away to anyone, but she will NEVER find guys like us that will be so damn committed. Most guys will just want to smash her box and be in an average relationship with no commitment. One day she will want to settle down, but trust me she will NEVER find guys as committed as us.

 

Moral of the story: it's easier to have sex with people than finding commitment from the right person. So don't worry too much about it because our exes have both lost great guys like us. We deserve a girl who is much more appreciative and is not afraid to commit to us and put in the same amount of effort.

 

EDIT: Yes with reference to the insecurity side of things, I am generally a secure guy. She just made me feel insecure with her withdrawn attitude and lack of affection. How would you feel if the girl you loved and supposedly loved you rarely initiated texts, didn't call you, didn't make plans with you, didn't introduce you to her friends, then told you it was all 'normal' because that's just the way she was? Yes, I am guessing a bit "insecure" for most people.

 

You're absolutely right bro, this is how it works, one girl f*cks you over and you just can't trust another again. But I agree, I'm the same way, my girl knows deep down too that I was a great guy, I'm sure its just cuz she wants to see what else is out there, and im sure she had some influence from her new found friends, who were all b*tches in my opinion. Anyways I wouldn't take her back either unless she begs me and realizes for real what she did wrong and I know for certain she wouldn't pull this sh*t again.

 

Yea man you're right there too, we did come on top cuz we were committed and we were real. I know I treated my girl like a princess even till the end of the relationship, I always paid for her **** and I always tried to be there for her whenever she needed me, I know sooner or later she's going to realize that she will never find anyone like that again. I'm sure it will take some time after her "honeymoon phase" with this guy is over, but I'm a big believer in Karma and she will get hers too.

 

I can't blame you about the insecurity thing, I would be insecure too if my girl didn't introduce me to her friends/family and didn't initiate anything. My ex was usually the one initiating our conversations or would get mad at me if I didnt send her a goodmorning text (cuz she knew i would wake up earlier than her). But that just goes to show you man, you don't deserve any of that ****. You deserve a girl that will be there for you as much as you're there for her, a relationship should be 50/50 for most of the times.

 

I think thats what hurts me most about my breakup is the fact that we did have that great balance, and we loved spending time with eachother and loved every moment together. Thats why sometimes I do believe that her mom got to her cuz the reason she gave me for breaking up was due to her family not being ok with my religion. But w/e now she is with a guy from her religion so lets see how well this plays out.

 

Don't break no contact again man, its hard i know it is, I'm 5 months in NC and it KILLS me. Sometimes it even makes me angry that she hasn't contacted me even though we didn't have a bad breakup but I guess its better this way. You need to now be selfish and focus on yourself, take her out of the equation cuz she is no longer part of your life. If she later on decides to come back then you're in a better position of evaluating your life and your position in the relationship to take her back. Trust me man it gets easier but you got to stick to NC, I'm speaking from experience.

[imbax]

Thank you for your reply, I am going through some dark times in my life I was in complete denial last week. I just sent her a text that explained to her that I respect her decision but she should reconsider the reasons as we were genuinely happy. She has "read" it but hasn't replied so I decided I'm not going to push it until next week and give her some time...

 

I'm really heart broken all over again and I want her back more than ever. I need help.

[imbax]

As I said, I broke no contact with her after 1 week because I was feeling low. When she broke up she was crying telling me how she loved me and will miss all the times we had together and that she wants me to text her and stuff whenever I feel like it. I texted her yesterday but she read it and DIDNT REPLY! I am so frustrated and I don't want to push the matter further.... I feel hopeless and trapped in my own mind going CRAZY. Someone please help...

[tasteringo]

I can imagine the feeling of being ignored after sending a heartfelt text is even worse than trying to maintain NC. Better to just maintain NC because at least the pain will lesson with time.

 

I was in a similar situation to you 3 years ago, my r/s was a bit shorter than yours (~3yrs) and she was my 1st. About 6mo before the breakup she met the guy she would end up dating after she broke up with me. In that time she had conflict in her feelings and just like your situation, the breakup came completely unexpected and shocked me. There were warning signs (like yours) where she didn't miss me during the week (I saw her only on w/ends) and she spent quite a few 1 on 1 times with her new bf while we were still together.

 

I did NC for a week after the bombshell breakup and then called her to hear her side of the story. Up until that call, I felt in denial and was wretched inside. In that call she told me she slept with the guy the day after our breakup and that spark was lost. My choice was easy after that call because why would I still want to be with someone like that, even if she was my 1st and we shared 3yrs. I have maintained NC all this time since that call (the full 3yrs) and haven't heard from her since. In that time I found another girl (about 9mo after the breakup) and have found happiness again by joining new hobbies and clubs. Distraction by meeting new people (not just with intention to date) plays a huge role in helping you get through in my experience. I still think about my 1st from time to time even today but the hurt is no longer there and I don't feel the emotional attachment (aka pain) I felt in the first few months after the breakup.

 

Yes my 1st post, but I felt compelled to write something after reading your story.

 

Wish you luck.

Edited April 27, 2015 by tasteringo

[diamondgirl]

its really painful, but even if she did respond you wouldnt have liked her response. she isn't going to change her mind. especially so soon after. so even if she had answered it wouldve set you back to square one.

 

don't leave it till next week and try again. she knows how you feel but she still doesnt want to be with you. remember how badly it felt breaking it with no response and hopefully that will help you fight the urge next time. its all part of the process. if you break it and feel horribly enough times you'll just naturally want to stop reaching out. it happened to me. she's actually doing you a favor by not responding even if you don't see it now. she's going to force you to move on rather than string you along with a little hope and that is much more mature and respectful. hang in there and don't break nc again! find a friend you can always call instead