Diezel Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Valentines guy I didn't have full penetrative sex with. Bill Clinton, is that you? Three men this year. And for me that is a lot in four short months. Not the norm for what I've cone over the past eight years. So what you are saying is your standards have... lowered? Okay. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Go read the previous 15/16 pages. Whenever I contribute to these threads I always wonder if things will be different... And ultimately always feel like I've just thrown a load of words down into a deep, black hole. They make me question my own sanity for actually persevering through them. I guess it's like rubbernecking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Go read the previous 15/16 pages. Can u please stop posting. I'm a desirable and very kind person to many men who encounter me and I don't have any sort of a problem with my going for the best chemistry theory. Just because I have been single for seven months that doesn't mean I can't find a guy I have that great chemistry with in a reasonable time frame. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Can u please stop posting. I'm a desirable and very kind person to many men who encounter me and I don't have any sort of a problem with my going for the best chemistry theory. Just because I have been single for seven months that doesn't mean I can't find a guy I have that great chemistry with in a reasonable time frame. You asked for people to give you reasons to end it. You have literally received dozens upon dozens of them over the past... what... 3 to 4 days in this thread? Just do it already. Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 well he texted... " so this is it then" He said " it is NOT a case of me not being into you I AM, I really like you, you're everything I want and I have never been this attracted, you're my ideal body type to a T so it is NOT YOU that is lacking leigh !!!!!!" " I never said I didn't want a relationship. I am saying my life is clearly effed, I am mentally hurting even though I am not in love with me ex it is still traumatic for her to have my child when I cannot stand being in the same room as her'' " You're the only girl I want, I just cannot give you what you are looking for, I am not in any state to be dating or thinking about my love life" " I do want to continue as we were, you're not a fck buddy you are relationship material and totally not a casual Miss Right Now chick, but I am dealing with so much mental anguish that I would have to move at a much slower pace, the feelings are there though but honestly u deserve better than me right now" So he basically said that it is him and not me, he does want a relationship but he is in no position to offer everything that a relationship entails such as a clear mind.........He said it is definately not a case of " wanting to use you until I feel better, and then I will meet a woman who knocks my socks off and I DO want to commit to...... He says the feelings are there, the chemistry is there, he considers me relationship material and I am everything he wants but it is simply the wrong time.......... Well I feel better that it wasn't just a case of him just "not being that into me". It seems that this is the exception to the rule!!!! 99.99999% of times, he just aint that into you. I feel like I am finally the exception to the rule! The guy was into me but it was circumstantial............ You wanted help to end things - here it is. You already "ended things" a few days ago. He took it fine and told you he didn't want a relationship anyway. He wasn't contacting you or showing any signs of wanting a relationship with you, then when you ended it he gave you the - it's not you, it's me. Good enough. It's already over, nothing more to end. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I need support and and encouragement to dump him. I'm doing it tomorrow first time I hear from him. It's very hard. I need posters to remind me why it will go bad if I don't do it. I know you hate Evan Marc Katz, but you are doing exactly what he warns against -- putting sex and chemistry above everything else to the point that it has completely clouded your judgment about this guy's character. Character is what is important, Leigh! You are so focused on the sex and chemistry that you are ignoring everything else about this guy that is not a good match for you. You can think he's affable and with load of emphathy (?), but the reality is that you don't know him at all. You haven't even seen his true character. All you can go on are his past and current actions. All the warning signs and red flags are there about this guy. From what you've posted he's dated much younger women, bad mouthed his exes, possibly has a drinking/drug problem, has been "tricked" into having three babies, doesn't even see two of his kids, doesn't want to be a dad to the new baby, wasn't texting you over the weekends...I mean, this guy is a mess. And I still think he's totally blowtorching you. You can't "fix" him. But hey, if the sex is good, who cares, right? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Can u please stop posting. I'm a desirable and very kind person to many men who encounter me and I don't have any sort of a problem with my going for the best chemistry theory. Just because I have been single for seven months that doesn't mean I can't find a guy I have that great chemistry with in a reasonable time frame. Seems to me these are just random slightly weird guys you found wandering about, that were up for having sex with you. This is NOT chemistry, this is just pure lust and from inappropriate men too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 I know you hate Evan Marc Katz, but you are doing exactly what he warns against -- putting sex and chemistry above everything else to the point that it has completely clouded your judgment about this guy's character. Character is what is important, Leigh! You are so focused on the sex and chemistry that you are ignoring everything else about this guy that is not a good match for you. You can think he's affable and with load of emphathy (?), but the reality is that you don't know him at all. You haven't even seen his true character. All you can go on are his past and current actions. All the warning signs and red flags are there about this guy. From what you've posted he's dated much younger women, bad mouthed his exes, possibly has a drinking/drug problem, has been "tricked" into having three babies, doesn't even see two of his kids, doesn't want to be a dad to the new baby, wasn't texting you over the weekends...I mean, this guy is a mess. And I still think he's totally blowtorching you. You can't "fix" him. But hey, if the sex is good, who cares, right? Obviously I want compatability. I do want those important things as much as I meed the intense chemistry and the explosive sex. But I won't bother seeing if a guy is compatible unless I have that natural chemistry. The type where you fall hard. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I would be willing to bet I wouldn't consider any of the men you find hot to be hot. Similarly, you probably wouldn't appreciate any of the men I find attractive. The biggest difference as I see it is that: You go for men who make you feel hot. I go for men who have integrity. That said, I also need to feel chemistry with guys. But there's nothing better than an admirable man to make me swoon. How into him I am is more important to me than how into me he is. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Obviously I want compatability. I do want those important things as much as I meed the intense chemistry and the explosive sex. But I won't bother seeing if a guy is compatible unless I have that natural chemistry. The type where you fall hard. I'm not talking about compatibility. I'm talking about his character. But do you honestly think you are compatible with a man who already has three kids? I thought you don't even like kids and don't want any? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Seems to me these are just random slightly weird guys you found wandering about, that were up for having sex with you. This is NOT chemistry, this is just pure lust and from inappropriate men too. I know what chemistry is. I have actually dated those men. We had the insatnt spark and we got along well. They felt strong feelings and viewed me as potentially relationship material, except we turned out to not be at all compatible. It just seemed like we could have relationship potential at the time. The guys I've met whilst single these past seven months happen to be the types of men who... Thought they weren't into serious relationships, met me and decided they might want one because the chemistry was so compelling and we clicked as well. They aren't the types of men who will readily settle. It was not a case of them not being that into me and merely viewing me as good enough for sex and nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 (edited) I'm not talking about compatibility. I'm talking about his character. But do you honestly think you are compatible with a man who already has three kids? I thought you don't even like kids and don't want any? I want all of what Evan says. I happen to think I can get those things with a guy I have the best sexual chemistry with. For I don't need movie star looks for me to get the great, passionate sexual chemistry. Where as Evan doesn't think it's realistic to hold out for a partner who you have the biggest sizzle in the bedroom with. Which for me, intense chemistry that's mutual isnt hard to find. It is finding true compatability on top of the passionate sex that I have not yet found in seven months single but I'm confident I'll find....I need both the right chemistry and a suitable partner. One isn't more important than the other. Edited April 21, 2015 by Leigh 87 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 I would be willing to bet I wouldn't consider any of the men you find hot to be hot. Similarly, you probably wouldn't appreciate any of the men I find attractive. The biggest difference as I see it is that: You go for men who make you feel hot. I go for men who have integrity. That said, I also need to feel chemistry with guys. But there's nothing better than an admirable man to make me swoon. How into him I am is more important to me than how into me he is. I also want a good man. It just has to be one of the men who also gives me butterflies and makes my heart race. Not a guy who delivers mediocre sex. The men I go for arent hot. Not usually. They are very average. I happen to be drawn to them. And to their surface personality.......... It takes time to see how honourable and decent a man truly is...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 It takes time to see how honourable and decent a man truly is...... That's very true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 I would be willing to bet I wouldn't consider any of the men you find hot to be hot. Similarly, you probably wouldn't appreciate any of the men I find attractive. The biggest difference as I see it is that: You go for men who make you feel hot. I go for men who have integrity. That said, I also need to feel chemistry with guys. But there's nothing better than an admirable man to make me swoon. How into him I am is more important to me than how into me he is. I am 28 so yes I want a man who is enamoured by my looks and also thinks I'm beautiful on the inside........ I believe I have the figure and looks to find an average aussie guy to fall for me fast and not have to warm up to me and feel a slow burn. It's my style and always will be. But yes, I'm holding out for a decent men hence why I'm leaving this one........ I have my style. You have yours. I prefer a strong limerent stage where both of us are enamoured and fall head over heels rather than quietly in love. Couples I know with this style have the most racey sex years into their marriages because they had natural fireworks to begin with. So yeah. Just the aveage looking aussie bloke with a job and who I'm compatible with and have that special chemistry with........I feel great chemistry easily so I'm sure I'll find a decent guy in the next few years to match with the passion sexually speaking.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 That's very true. I thought this guy seemed lovely at first. Obviously I had no idea just how messed up he was. Or about his two.... And now three, kids........... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Another lesson learnt: MOST men who seem lovely and who you not only get along with well yet who seem desirable ( career and looks wise ) and who u have the chemistry with - are SINGLE FOR A REASON Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Whenever I contribute to these threads I always wonder if things will be different... And ultimately always feel like I've just thrown a load of words down into a deep, black hole. They make me question my own sanity for actually persevering through them. I guess it's like rubbernecking. Well I'm breaking it off. So obviously I've realised that he's bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I lost count of the number of times "chemistry" and "passion" have been uttered in this thread. What happens to the relationship when these things die off? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
toscaroscura Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 If you hate Evan I recommend Baggage Reclaim. That site changed my life and I think you could benefit. All these guys sound like unavailable Assclowns, in the words of Baggage Reclaim's author. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 I lost count of the number of times "chemistry" and "passion" have been uttered in this thread. What happens to the relationship when these things die off? Yes over repeatedly stated that I want long term compatibility. In addition to chemistry. And if you have true passion and natural chemistry to begin with, you can fire ignite the spark years into relationships. I've seen couples do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 If you hate Evan I recommend Baggage Reclaim. That site changed my life and I think you could benefit. All these guys sound like unavailable Assclowns, in the words of Baggage Reclaim's author. I've felt intensity for nice guys. They happened to be taken. So I dont only feel chemistry for asclown. Just people who are unavailable for some reason. Not a be default some are genuinly great guys who are taken. It's been seven months and I'm sure I'll find chemistry with the average aussie bloke who's single. And available. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 I lost count of the number of times "chemistry" and "passion" have been uttered in this thread. What happens to the relationship when these things die off? By the way, Chemistry and passion die off only is it wasn't strong to begin with. ALL couples I know of who had that natural chemistry and that madly in love feeling... The fireworks. Their fire for each other never died providing they were compatible. Incompatible ones divorced. Obviously. Couples who are perfect for one a other but lacked that heady " I want to rip your clothes off " type chemistry, seldom lasted. They ended up in second marriages with partners who they were actually passionate about. I will always maintain that for me, I need great chemistry and compatibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 ALL couples I know of who had that natural chemistry and that madly in love feeling... The fireworks. Their fire for each other never died providing they were compatible. Incompatible ones divorced. Obviously. Cool. All couples I know who had that natural chemistry and that madly in love feeling... eventually found that it waned over time. New toys lose their luster. That isn't to say they divorced. Rather, they settled into a quiet, boring relationship that consisted of antiquing and listening to "A Prairie Home Companion". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 By the way, Chemistry and passion die off only is it wasn't strong to begin with. ALL couples I know of who had that natural chemistry and that madly in love feeling... The fireworks. Their fire for each other never died providing they were compatible. Incompatible ones divorced. Obviously. Couples who are perfect for one a other but lacked that heady " I want to rip your clothes off " type chemistry, seldom lasted. They ended up in second marriages with partners who they were actually passionate about. I will always maintain that for me, I need great chemistry and compatibility. My parents waited until they were engaged, to go to bed with each other. They still love each other, 46/47 years later. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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