Found out the guy I was seeing has a girlfriend and is now engaged to her.

[livelygirl]

So last summer I met a guy on Tinder. We were instantly attracted to each other when we met in person. On that date I asked when his last relationship was and he told me 6 months ago and it was a 4 year relationship that ended mutually. I had told him I just ended a relationship of almost a year 4 months prior to meeting him so I knew that we were both not looking for a serious relationship. He also lived about an hour away. We ended up have a summer fling where we went on dates and staying overnight at each others places every 2 weeks or so. I grew to develop feelings for him but I knew he was keeping his distant. We texted everyday throughout the summer but I started to see less of him as summer ended. In September, it was my birthday and he remembered to wish me a happy birthday but that was it. A part of me hope that he would do something like take me out for dinner but he never did and I started to realize that maybe I should move on. However, I had feelings for him and kept holding on. I never saw him the month of September as he told me he has been busy with work and plans he's made. We continued to text each other everyday but he was texting less and taking longer to respond like 10-12 hours. In October, I came to visit him and stayed overnight as his place. We continued to text and the following week, he sent me a text saying he lost all his convos on his whatsapp and asked me what I texted him last. I asked him what his plans were and he told me he was on a trip for a little while. I found out through his instagram (he has on public viewing) that he went to the carribean with a girl(I didnt know the situation was at the time and thought maybe it was a friend). I asked him why he didn't tell me he was going on trip this whole time and he responded that it was a "last minute thing". So I told him how inconsiderate it was of him not to share that and he never replied and that pretty much ended everything between us.

I continued to do my research and found out that girl he went with was his girlfriend for about a year who lives in another country. Four months later I looked at his instagram and found out he visited her and proposed to her on Valentines day and now they are engaged! I've talked to my friends about this and some have told me not to tell his fiance cause of karma or that it will come back to bite me(like he will find out it was me who told her and start ruining my life )and to stay out of the drama. And others have told me I should.

This has happened to me before with my ex wanting to hook up thinking I didn't know he was in a relationship which I told him off and I kept my mouth shut cause it was not my place to say anything to his girlfriend from my friends advice and yet they are together still now.

It bugs me that guys like him can get away with this and I really want to tell her but I don't want this to come back to bite me. Should I tell her especially since she's going to marry him? I was thinking of doing it anonymously but I can't give her evidence if I do.

[stillafool]

You can tell her but he will figure out it was you. She will get mad, he will make an excuse but they will still go ahead with the wedding. Maybe they were broken up when he was having his summer fling with you. He never told you he loved you, did he? Honestly, if I were you I would move on and wish him well.

[smackie9]

It was just a summer fling, so he owes you nothing. You only made yourself the fool by seeing this more than what it was. Just let it go.

[No Limit]

Tell her, even if just anonymously. At least give her a chance to see what she's really getting into.

[Fleur de cactus]

If I was you I would tell her. Without wanting too much conversation with her , just let her know what his fiance has been doing. I think if i was his fiancee I wold like to know.

[Poppyolive]

I'd like to know, you'd like to know. Gawd only knows who else was in there getting a piece. All the while his lady is unaware.

 

Scrap all the feelings you hold for him aside. Do this purely for her, not you or to get back at him. That way your intentions are clean and clear. What she does with that information is IP to her.

[ascendotum]

I'd like to know, you'd like to know. Gawd only knows who else was in there getting a piece. All the while his lady is unaware.

 

Scrap all the feelings you hold for him aside. Do this purely for her, not you or to get back at him. That way your intentions are clean and clear. What she does with that information is IP to her.

 

Another one of these threads with the moral dilemma of informing on the cheater. I guess if you posted in the Dating section the majority of people will say just mind your own business and let him do his thing. In this section I suspect you will get more people saying let the fiance know since everyone here have been cheated on, and most definitely dont want to be clueless to infidelity in the future and tend to put themselves in the shoes of the fiance.

 

The fiance likely will want proof rather than take the comments of some random woman seriously. So you will need to provide her with pics/transcripts which she could well show him in the heat of the moment when he keeps denying ever cheating on her. As long as you don't mind that. You could deny that if you want and just give her fair warning, but I'd say she will still marry him and learn the hardway you were legit down the line.

 

He didn't lose his whatsapp history, he obviously deleted in preparation for his trip with her. You were supposed to just be a summer fling so I guess he felt safe you would be out of his life well before wedding day. Its really up to you. The more people just turn a blind eye to wrong doing because its not their business the more people will tend to try get away with the wrong thing in society.