ArtIsMyThing Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 My regret text border into the pathetic but as i say in my own defense - lordy i was sick - I am grateful to say that part is mostly now over. But i sent texts like begging pleading 'please dont take my family from me, please you guys are all i have' .. I told him so many times i was so sorry i got so sick. I took it all on board as if i was the evil rotten horrid wife. gee just thinking about being left out in that state in a world i was terrified off brings tears to my eyes. I don't know if he fully understood the ramifications of what i was experiencing or if he cared or not - i think he did care somewhere - that or i was married to a narcassist (perfect while they gained and zero care factor when they cant gain) i just don't know and it no longer matters. All i know is i survived. I loved him and still do but not enough anymore to want to be with someone who has no compassion. I repeat things at times so sorry if i have said all this before. My hardest struggle i went thru was to not text - there seriously would be anywhere up to 40 a day exchanged between us and then one day i just stopped caring to text - took a good year though. If i could go back in time i would seriously offer myself more love then i showed myself. And i think thats the strongest message i try to tell people on here - everything you feel is normal - and be kind to yourself. I think i have even said RUN lol and dont look backward. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is to stay in the moment and recognise - this too shall pass. So anyway - life goes on - we begin to find our own feet in this world and as we detach we start to think we are so bad for the begging and pleading or the expression of hurt and anger. Funny little buggers us humans are Link to post Share on other sites
ArtIsMyThing Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 And as for varnish haaaaaaaa it's my drug of choice Link to post Share on other sites
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