Question for all happily married folks

[Jonp219]

Did you click with your husband/wife right away upon meeting them? Did the first meeting have an intimidate spark? And if it didn't, when did you realize you wanted to really be with this person?

[CarrieT]

Nope, not at all.

 

Here is my post from 2011 where I met an amazing guy that I had no sexual attraction to.

 

We have now been married for 18 months and I couldn't be happier. It took dating for several months for the passion to build.

[carhill]

Speaking as a past happily married person, my exW was late for our first date. I'll leave it at that. However, I've only initially 'clicked' with maybe one or two women out of thousands I've met in life so probably should be considered outlier. Generally, my attraction and 'chemistry' grew over time and getting to know someone.

[xxoo]

Not the first meeting. I met a lot of people that day, and while I remember meeting him, i didn't recognize anything special immediately.

 

Within the first few meetings, our chemistry sparked. These weren't dates, btw.

[stillmind]

For me yes, we have a very similar sense of humor and got along immediately.

[Syberia]

We started as "just" friends largely due to distance between us. We enjoyed each other's company and liked talking to each other about pretty much everything in our lives, but trying to take things further at that particular time would not have worked due to distance. We both dated other people, and it didn't work out for either of us. We began to realize that we liked each other as more than just friends, but were unable to act on it. Until we could, because I went to college near where she lived. Then the sparks flew, we "dated" briefly but basically became instant bf and gf (maybe we were acting like it before but just didn't want to say it). Within 6 months we started living together, got engaged shortly after and have been married for almost 5 years. It was wonderful to know that we were completely compatible before any type of romantic relationship developed between us.

Edited April 20, 2015 by Syberia

[samantha_t85]

For me, yes - our first date was by far the best first date I had ever been on. Conversation flowed naturally, we had mutual interests and similar senses of humor, and I was instantly attracted to him. I don't think it has to work this way though, as previous posters have mentioned!

[georgia girl]

I had a mending heart when I met my husband. I remember thinking that he was funny, incredibly smart, charming and sexy as hell. But, I also remember thinking that I was just not ready for anything serious. So, I called him my Mr. Now. He wasn't my Mr. Right and he wasn't my Mr. Right Now. Just my Mr. Now.

 

 

We dated super casually for a few months (saw each other only twice a month or so) and then ramped it up to a weekly thing for about six months. We're both older (late 30s at this time) with no potential for children so there was no rush. Then, a little over a year after we were dating, my husband was training for a triathlon and out cycling. In a freak training accident, he went over the handlebars of his bicycle at 30+ miles per hour. He was training near a rural area where we live and had to medically evacuated by helicopter out of the area to a hospital nearly two hours away. All I knew was that when he was loaded into the helicopter, he had head and neck injuries and was asking for me. I wasn't a spouse and the hospital would tell me nothing. I drove up there not knowing if he was alive or dead.

 

 

As I was leaving to go to the hospital, I called my mom so someone would know where I was. I told her about his accident and blurted out without thinking, "Mom, I love him. What if he dies never knowing that I love him?" I have genuinely not been so scared in my life nor so angry for being so closed off that I couldn't see what was happening right before my eyes. As they wheeled him in to emergency surgery when I got to the hospital, I told him for the very first time that I loved him.

 

 

He had several injures but left the hospital five days later. It took us nearly a year to heal. Nearly two years to the day, we got married in a rustic gazebo overlooking the mountainside where my husband still rides his bike today.

 

 

So no, I didn't know he was "THE ONE" when I met him. I know now, however, that I simply could never love another human being the way I love him. I have already faced death with my husband. There is not a single thing in the world that can even remotely scare me now.

[thestaircase]

All of the replies here, all of you have nice love story.

'georgia_girl', your story so cute! I admire you.

 

 

Me and my husaband have a freaky love story, lol

Uh... For us---we are 2 people live in the same neighborhood fall for each others.

 

My husband was sexually attracted to me when we first met, and he still find me attractive.

For me loving him was something that happened gradually, but I do find him sexy when we first met. He have the the charm, he have a sweet face and perfect teeth.

 

Me and my husband know each others 4 years. We live in the same cheap rent bad neighborhood area; that was how we met, dated and married.

We were friends for 2 years prior to dating, so we know each others well. After his long chase, I gave us a chance and we dated. And we got married 4 months ago.

 

 

I chose this nickname "thestairs" because it a memory between me and my husband.

He choose the public staircase cloest to my apartment, quietly sit there and wait for me.

Day by day passed by, whenever he back from work or whenever he have the freetime. He would come back to this same staircase to sit and wait for me.

My staircase is facing the parking lot, so I have no choice but to passed by this stairs and passed by him in order to get to my apartment.

 

People reading this probably think my husband is a creeper, lol

But here all apartments have staircase. These stairs are everywhere and have lights on too. It pretty much belong in the public, anyone can wait/stand/sit out there if they wants. Even little kids run up and down these stairs to play so it public, it wasn't my staircase. It just happen to be the staircase closest to my apartment.

 

 

Back then, whenever we ran into each others; he always the first that talk to me.

He wants a handshake, and he just doesn’t let my hand go, and out of nowhere he KISS my hand. It was so quick unexpected that I don’t even have a chance to pull back my hand.

Uh.. he kindda old-fashioned. Nowadays you don't see guys kiss girls hand anymore.

We married now and he still kiss my hand, he still stare at me too.

 

Did I know he was the one? Nope!... I test his love and patience alot, and he passed it all. We married now, and so far we both happy in our marriage.

Edited May 9, 2015 by thestairs

[d0nnivain]

When I first laid eyes on DH I thought he was drop dead gorgeous & I wanted him -- pure unadulterated lust.

 

We had a bad 1st date. After he shook hands with me good bye, in the restaurant parking lot I drove straight to a bar an old buddy of mine was tending & cried in that guy's arms. To his credit that guy waited until the middle of our wedding reception to say "I told you so."

 

Looking back DH & I had more mis-communications in the 1st few months of dating then I had ever had with another man. Yet when we realized where the missteps were & worked to overcome them it was great.

[Fugu]

We knew each other as mostly acquaintances initially. In fact we were both in relationships that were probably pretty pedestrian. We eventually moved on from our exes and then discovered that we really had some things in common and that we were attracted to each other once we got to know each other better. It's been 6 1/2 years together, more than 4 1/2 of those married. Once we started actually dating, I think I knew pretty quick that I wanted this person in my life. I'd say that the 'serious' phase of dating began probably within 3 months at most, but probably within 8-10 weeks.

 

There have been a few days here and there when we've had to find out what our relationship was made of, but we've gotten past those more challenging times and I'd say we're going strong. I think the reality is that, marriage is always day-by-day. If you take it for granted that the other person will always just be around, then I think you're asking for trouble. Never live in fear of abandonment - that's no way to live in a relationship. But never take your partner for granted. Appreciate your partner for who he/she is. Cherish your time together. Love together. Grow together.

[mandymor]

It wasn't really a first date when I met my hubby for the first time. I was at a friend's house and she was having a small get together and another friend of mine walked in with this really cute guy that I had never seen before. Well, it turns out he had just moved to town because of his job and he works with my friend. There was an immediate attraction for both of us and we ended up talking all night and went out to dinner the next day. Everything just seemed to click after that. We've been married a year now and we're still as happy as the first time we met.

[quankanne]

I honestly can't say if there were sparks or not, just that I knew he was different, and that I trusted him. We dated long-distance up until the visit he suggested we get married, then we eloped. He was working in Saudi Arabia at the time, but opted out of his civil service contract and we've been in the same country since our first anniversary.

 

I *liked* being with him when we were together, and I missed him when we were away, but until he actually began talking about marriage, it wasn't something I ever wanted to do with my life

 

23 years later, I can say without reservation, getting married – to him in particular – is the best thing I ever done, because even when we do things to make each other nuts, there's no one I trust more. I think my mom said it best when I asked her what she thought of him as a son-in-law: "I didn't have to raise this one." See, both my sisters married their high school sweethearts, and got out of the house at a young age. I met DH while I was in college, and I think the fact that he was older and not into playing games is what initially impressed me. Factor in a laid-back attitude and pretty blue eyes, and I was a goner

[understand50]

Did you click with your husband/wife right away upon meeting them? Did the first meeting have an intimidate spark? And if it didn't, when did you realize you wanted to really be with this person?

 

My wife and I, met in High School. She is 2 year older then me, being 18, and I 16. She was one of my older sister's friends. A group of them, used to "run" in a pack and hang out at our house. As the kid bother, I was tolerated. One day, they were teasing me about not having a date, so I asked my wife out on a date. She thought it would be a joke, but I took it seriously. We had fun, and there was a "spark". I asked her to go the next Friday, and she said yes. We quickly became a couple. Her parents, my parents, my sister, all did not approve and worked to break us up. Wife did go along with this from time to time, but we always started dating again.

 

Later, she moved to take a summer job, about 2 hours away. I did not hear from her for a month. I sent letter each week, and the last one, asked if I could visit her. She phoned, and I took the buss. After that, I took the buss most weekends to be with her. After the end of the summer, it was decided I would move in with her after I completed my GED. I did that by Nov of that year. I was 17, she 19 when we moved into together. We have been together from that day.

 

Looking back, I wonder how we got together. A, 2 year age different is not a big thing now, at our age, but in High School it was. The fact that our families worked to break us apart, was not a help. Her friends were also trying to "help" see that light of not seeing me as well. We over came it all, and I think that, "we are going to make this work, and prove everyone wrong" idea got us over many ruff spots, early in our marriage. We also, fell in love early, and that has lasted between us.

 

171173175

[Arieswoman]

OP, you asked,

 

Did you click with your husband/wife right away upon meeting them? Did the first meeting have an intimidate spark? And if it didn't, when did you realize you wanted to really be with this person?

 

I sort of found him vaguely attractive but didn't really think much of it as I didn't know his circumstances (married or not). I met him in a church setting so we didn't get much time to chat at first. I think it took about 6 months for an attraction to build ( because he had qualities that I admired) and then another month for him to ask me for a date.

 

Things progressed slowly because we didn't want to rush things but we agreed that we had lots in common. He hadn't been married before and I had had a nasty divorce.

 

I can't remember the exact time we realised we wanted to get married but it was about 2 years after we first met.

[Brunettie]

It wasn't immediate.

We met on a dating site. He sent me a message. He said something along the lines of "Hey, you're kinda cute, wanna text?" Or something like that. I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not lol, but I replied and we messaged back and forth then moved to texting (basically 24/7) for about a week before he asked me on our first date.

 

On our first date, I think he ordered for me. I guess that was sweet but no one has ever done that before so I was kinda like "...?"

Then when our food came, I had ordered a sandwich. It was kind of big, so he reached over and cut it in half for me (without asking) that really weirded me out. At the end of the date, he asked if he did well enough for a kiss. I politely declined, saying I don't kiss on the first date. He walked me to my car and then texted me 20 minutes later saying he had a good time. We continued to text 24/7 and had our 2nd date a couple days later (where this time we did kiss)

 

So to really answer your question, it wasn't on the first date. He just made me feel SO comfortable. Unlike any guy I've ever dated. I felt completely safe around him, safe talking to him about anything. I felt like if it was just the 2 of us in the world whenever we were together. And it's still like that now. I know as long as I'm with him I am safe and I can tell him anything and feel safe about it.

 

Today is actually 3 years since our first date. We went to lunch at the restaurant where we had our first date today. We got married 5/9/2015

[bluegreen]

Congratulations ? Hon

[TaraMaiden2]

Did you click with your husband/wife right away upon meeting them?

Yes.

 

Did the first meeting have an intimidate spark?

No.

 

And if it didn't, when did you realize you wanted to really be with this person?

About a week later.