I miss my kids... :-(

[Zvi]

Hi. I am new here. I searched for a forum that I thought I might be able to share my worries and hopefully get some support from guys like you.

 

I just turned 32 this month. I was separated and living alone for 2 years now and 2 months ago, got officially divorced. I have 5 kids living with my X-wife. (I don't really want to get into that now. I got married at age 19) I see my kids once a week for a few hours. My problem is, even though I have been living like this for 2 years, I still feel like I only left the house yesterday. I miss my kids terribly. No matter how much I visit them or speak to them on the phone, I feel like a part of me is missing. I used to never cry. Now my eyes tear every time I see kids with their parents on TV or in the street.

 

I live alone and don't want to be with any girl. I just don't think I will ever get over my separation from my kids, even though I try to tell myself that there is no going back and I will have to get used to it. All the "self prep talk" doesn't help. I feel depressed and don't know how to cope with it. What can I do?

 

My parents divorced when I was 5 and I went through a painful childhood. My X and I speak freely and don't fight, so at least the kids see Dad and Mom on good terms, but I still feel that I love my kids sooooo much and can't bare the pain of being out of their life and just a "place to visit".

 

I don't know what y'all can do about it but I just needed I place to pour out my heart, so here I am. Thank you all for hearing me out and I would gladly listen to anything you might have to say.

 

Zvi

[suegail]

Well, I don't know your entire situation, but isn't it possible to get more visitation? Summer is soon here. If you and your ex are on good terms wouldn't she allow you a few weeks with the kids? A camping trip or something else fun to do?

 

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.