Terrorblade Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Hi guys. I have a friend (from work) with whom I've become really good friends over the last 3 months. We recently went for a trip together (with other people too). We used to spend a lot of time together, talking and having fun. One night, while sleeping next to each other we got really close and almost kissed but didn't. The next night, she kissed me and we spent most of the night making out (none of us were drunk/high or anything, totally in our senses). For the next two days we would kiss and hold hands told each other that we liked each other. Now, the deal is that she has had a boyfriend for the last 6 years. I'm not expecting anything (serious) to happen further down the line, but I do like her. She told me that he is confused, as things arent going too well between her and her boyfriend. Anyway, what should I do in this situation? Should I treat her simply as a platonic friend, or continue meeting/flirting with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Cambria Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 She has a boyfriend and is in a long term relationship. Absolutely do not continue to flirt with her, in fact, it is in your best interest to walk away right now. She cheated on her boyfriend with you. That is not a good thing and chances are she will cheat again in the future. I would stay as far away from her as possible if I were you. If she is having problems in her relationship she needs to discuss them with her boyfriend. Do not pursue anything with this woman while she is dating someone else. It's not fair to you and it's most certainly unfair to her boyfriend. He deserves better than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 So a question to you. This is the kind of girl that has a boyfriend and a) When things are tough she flirts, sleeps next to and kisses other men b) When things are alright (assuming things aren't bad with her boyfriend), flirts, sleeps next to and kisses other men. c) When she's bored with her boyfriend flirts, sleeps next to and kisses other men So at the least, even if "things aren't going too well" she's ok with cheating, because that is exactly what it is. If you don't have a problem with what's going on, then both of you can tell the boyfriend right? First off you're not a friend. You never were because you would have backed off the minute she kissed you, so part of you wanted this, hence the next night and the holding of hands. So continue to do what you're doing and a) The minute her boyfriend finds out, she cools on you and leaves you hurt b) You continue falling for her, she continues to cheat and you continue to get scraps c) She leaves her guy but also breaks it off with you leaving you hurt d) She leaves her guy, gets with you, but in time because you know she has no problem doing this, cheats on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 She's trash and you should stop thinking you are too special for her to resist. THIS IS HOW SHE IS. Someone who CHEATS. You won't be the exception, if you ever date her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 She is not married, so you are entitled to make an honest play for her. BUT cheating tends to get complicated pretty quick, and remember a woman who will fool around on her bf, will tend to fool around on you too. If she is prepared to leave him at some point, then just wait till she does. Many will not leave their long term relationship, so if you do not want to be an OM hanging about for years and potentially get your heart broken, then keep it platonic until she leaves him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Update - She called me over to her house and we had sex. I'm not getting emotionally attached here, would just want to know what kind of etiquette to maintain with her at work. Should I be making the first move at all again? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 If you want to keep your job then you should pretend it never happened and never do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 If you want to keep your job then you should pretend it never happened and never do it again. Thanks I wasn't going to brag about it at work you know. She's a sweet person and I don't want things to get awkward anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Update - She called me over to her house and we had sex. I'm not getting emotionally attached here, would just want to know what kind of etiquette to maintain with her at work. Should I be making the first move at all again? OK so you are NOT emotionally attached but just like the sex. I would advise you to start thinking of her boyfriend's fist on your chin or his gun in your back, cuckolded bfs can get very mad. OR everyone at work knowing and you & your gf potentially losing your jobs. Go find meaningless sex somewhere else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I hope you used a condom. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Not sure why you're hating on me man. No she's not planning on telling him. No I'm not planning on telling anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Update - She called me over to her house and we had sex. I'm not getting emotionally attached here, would just want to know what kind of etiquette to maintain with her at work. Should I be making the first move at all again? :rolleyes: I'm sorry, I'm not sure there is technical etiquette for "I'm f*cking a girl at work who has a long term partner". Not sure Emily Post addressed that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 :rolleyes: I'm sorry, I'm not sure there is technical etiquette for "I'm f*cking a girl at work who has a long term partner". Not sure Emily Post addressed that. Haha yes veggirl, point taken Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 I hope you used a condom. Yes sir, we did. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 DUDE!!! She's cheating on her boyfriend with you!!!!!! That should speak volumes to you!!! That should give you an idea of where her morals are!!! Leave her alone and move on! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 She's a sweet girl? Er...no. She's sleeping with you and her boyfriend. Don't see what's so sweet about a girl who is dishonest. At work, stay away from her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 First off why were you sleeping in the same bed let alone the same hotel room on a business trip with others....how unprofessional. Secondly, never believe a cheating heart. They look for sympathy and justification by saying their relationship has turned bad. In truth it's never as bad as they say it is. You both are not "friends" you are having an emotional affair and that's cheating. She is using you as an escape, and when feeling lonely anything looks good. Keep your distance, and wait for her to sort this thing out. If she truly wants to be with you she will end her relationship. I bet money on it she is wishing things were great again with her BF, she just doesn't know how to approach the issue and make it right. Give her space, and stop being her "friend" you don't need to add more to her confusion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 First off why were you sleeping in the same bed let alone the same hotel room on a business trip with others....how unprofessional. Secondly, never believe a cheating heart. They look for sympathy and justification by saying their relationship has turned bad. In truth it's never as bad as they say it is. You both are not "friends" you are having an emotional affair and that's cheating. She is using you as an escape, and when feeling lonely anything looks good. Keep your distance, and wait for her to sort this thing out. If she truly wants to be with you she will end her relationship. I bet money on it she is wishing things were great again with her BF, she just doesn't know how to approach the issue and make it right. Give her space, and stop being her "friend" you don't need to add more to her confusion. The fault partially lies with me for going ahead with things knowing full well she had a BF. I've been single for a while, and after shifting to a new city for work I've been feeling lonely. In retrospect, now I see that I should not have done it and stopped it where it began. Anyway, I will do as you say. At work we don't work in the same team so it's not like we talk or hang out a lot. I guess I'm just going to maintain my distance for now. Given the fact that I'm not seeing anyone else, if I continue to meet her I might start falling for her which will make the entire affair extremely messy. Her BF will be back at the end of this month and I am pretty sure those two are going to sort things out. Not being involved is the best thing I can do for now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 At least you admit you are part of the problem....most don't take any responsibility. Best of luck. I hope you get yourself out there more, meeting new people, etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Terrorblade Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 At least you admit you are part of the problem....most don't take any responsibility. Best of luck. I hope you get yourself out there more, meeting new people, etc. Thanks Always feels good after coming on LS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 She sounds like a real catch. You should tell her BF so she'll be freed from her relationship and get her yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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