what to do with the internet romance??

[KM]

I met this guy on the internet and soon after we met on the net we got feelings for each other. He is pretty open and he told me everything I wanted to know. Well everything would be fine if I would have talked to him in the last four weeks. Before the last time I talked to him we haven't talked for three weeks and he still thought of me but he couldn't talk to me cause he was in hospital. Well he said he would call me next day but he didn't and there is 'no sign' of him in the last couple weeks. and it's just not his manner to not call. He even calls me from a phonecell when it's pretty cold outside. Or to tell me that he is going to a bar. I think he is hospital (because he had a pretty bad disease and didn't sound pretty well though). Let's say I don't doubt that he is in hospital. My problem is that guys usually need to keep talking or seeing each other to keep their feeling, am I right on that one?? I mean what if the feelings for me have changed?? I know he would be that honest to tell me but can it be that when you don't talk to a person for a really long time that you 'loose' the feeling for this person?? I haven't talked to him for a long time and the feelings for him getting stronger but I don't know about him.

 

please guys tell me what you think!!! That would be a great help.

[Tony T]

Hospitals have phones. He could call you collect from the hospital if he wanted to, unless he is unconscious or in critical condition.

 

These Internet things can really get out of hand. He may be having Internet flings with lots of girls. He may be married or have a girlfriend.

 

The feelings you get for people you meet on the Internet are in your own head based on projections of what you think that person is all about. It is a form of self deception.

 

The next time you meet somebody on the Internet, form no opinions whatsoever until you get to know them in person.

 

This guy has moved on to bigger and better things. Don't buy the hospital deal. Even if it were true, if he has the same "feelings" for you, he would have called you with the name of the hospital and the room number. But it's a great story to buy him some time to pursue others on the Internet under different names.

 

Write this dude off. I urge you, unless you live in a very small country town with no men, to restrict your meaningful social activity to real guys you can see and feel. Internet dating services are great but if you can't meet the person face to face within a short time, forget him!!!

 

If you really doubt what I say, use a different Internet address or screen name and send him a sexy Email...and see what happens.

[KM]

Dear Tony,

 

Maybe you are right on just forgetting this guy. And i did check him long before I wrote this, I have my ways to find out what i want he is not married and I also wrote him a very good and sexy email under a different name and email address. I didn't get an answer.

 

I know I shouldn't trust him until we met in prson and I know he could call me from the hospital. The deal is we live on two different continents. And collect calls are not able to do where I live though.

 

And there are a lot of easier ways to get rid of me though.

 

You seem to be very critical about this internet romancing stuff. I should tell you that I met my last boyfriend on the net and he turned out to be the way he was on the net and maybe that's why I don't think so negative like you do. And maybe I have to learn my own lesson and maybe it's time for it. I really appreciate your advice and I promise I will think about it really carefully. Thanks

 

KM

 

Hospitals have phones. He could call you collect from the hospital if he wanted to, unless he is unconscious or in critical condition. These Internet things can really get out of hand. He may be having Internet flings with lots of girls. He may be married or have a girlfriend.

 

The feelings you get for people you meet on the Internet are in your own head based on projections of what you think that person is all about. It is a form of self deception. The next time you meet somebody on the Internet, form no opinions whatsoever until you get to know them in person. This guy has moved on to bigger and better things. Don't buy the hospital deal. Even if it were true, if he has the same "feelings" for you, he would have called you with the name of the hospital and the room number. But it's a great story to buy him some time to pursue others on the Internet under different names. Write this dude off. I urge you, unless you live in a very small country town with no men, to restrict your meaningful social activity to real guys you can see and feel. Internet dating services are great but if you can't meet the person face to face within a short time, forget him!!!

 

If you really doubt what I say, use a different Internet address or screen name and send him a sexy Email...and see what happens.

[Tony T]

I appreciate your defense of the Internet and granted you can meet some nice people there. But there are dozens of problems inherent in falling for and trying to maintain a relationship with a person who lives on another continent.

 

I'm not just negative about Internet flings, I just find it hard to believe that people fall so hard for people who live so far away when the likelihood of their ever meeting is so low.

 

I hope you find great love that is very close to you geographically.