preraph Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Just caught up with this thread. Your bf is quite the player. He may or may not be actually sleeping with someone else, but the fact is he's keeping both his ex and this girl who's after him on the line despite knowing it's eroding his relationship with you. He's at least emotionally involved with that girl from his class or he wouldn't keep up with her and give in when she demands to see and talk to him. He's never given up on his ex either and from what you said about the hospital thing, it sounds like he knows you are only temporary and doesn't think of you really as his significant other. I'm not offering suggestions on what to do, but I will say that you've told him more than once, and he hasn't done anything to make it stop. Unless you want to be the one holding down the fort while he lets an ongoing string of women satellite around him, this isn't going anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 (edited) I have been off for a bit, taking a break. ***My bf spoke with her and had let her know my feelings. *** She then proceed to contact me via fb messenger. Saying I want you to know we are just friends and only friends, I have no intention of perusing him. I'm still in love with my ex, but I know it will never be. I said back to her, what bothers me is that you have sent my bf pics of yourself, text and calls frequently when I'm never around, like behind my back and you invite him out. My bf has never, that i am aware of, lead her to believe he is interested not via text anyway. Maybe it's an insecurity issue, however he says this issue is really getting on his nerves. I saw in his text, she sent him a copy of our conversation. .then she proceeded to say maybe we do need to go out for that glass of wine. All he did was put a smile face. all she said in her response to me was, thank you. .no apologies, nothing. If she really and truly respects their friendship like she says she does, then she will not do those things I mentioned and he will not allow it. How do I let him know that I know they talk on a regular basis and it's not just business it's an actual friendship??. He doesn't know I snoop thru his phone. It's not like they have been friends forever... Quote in asterisk above -- *He* let *her* know YOUR feelings? Why is he putting all this all on YOU???? Blaming YOU and your feelings for the fact that HE was (is) behaving inappropriately?!? Why are YOU even engaging with her at all? This is NOT between you and her, it is between *your boyfriend* and her....and you and your boyfriend! This would be a total dealbreaker for me...done... next! Stop engaging with her, and break up with him. His behavior here is atrocious, unacceptable and certainly not indicative of a man who loves and cares about you. Not even close! Why are you tolerating this BS? Edited May 17, 2015 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author keylime009 Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 I don't know why I do. I don't know if I'm scared to be alone. I don't know how to tell someone to pretty much "F" off (can i say that here)? I have never been in a fight or argument with any man or bf I have ever been with. Thank goodness I go back to therapy this week. I know the answer, I just have to figure out how to do it in a way I can be at peace with. I have t be strong and stand up for myself and feel.empowered, like I did when I went thru my divorce. Thank goodness this weekend I was busy with my girls and he works 10hr shifts every other weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 It's nothing like a divorce. You are not married to this man and he is living under your roof. Give him 15 days to get out. If he whines tell him it's not your problem I am sure he has family and friends to take him in and don't forget he's got that 'special' friend to help him. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 I don't know why I do. I don't know if I'm scared to be alone. I don't know how to tell someone to pretty much "F" off (can i say that here)? I have never been in a fight or argument with any man or bf I have ever been with. Thank goodness I go back to therapy this week. I know the answer, I just have to figure out how to do it in a way I can be at peace with. I have t be strong and stand up for myself and feel.empowered, like I did when I went thru my divorce. Thank goodness this weekend I was busy with my girls and he works 10hr shifts every other weekend. First paragraph...take an acting class...I am serious! I used to be like you....shy, scared to express my true feelings, making nice....until I got into local theater... which taught me how to express ALL my emotions....including anger. Best thing I ever did! Now I don't take crap from anyone! It feels so good! Not keeping all those feelings bottled it....it's not healthy! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 19, 2015 Share Posted May 19, 2015 This gal is attempting to be sure. Women in general do not dress sexy unless they are trying to get noticed by the opposite sex. I have known two gals who dressed literally like hookers to get certain men they were with to like / lust / notice them. As for your bf, he recognizes that she is attempting, to be sure. Whatever happens, I am asking you nicely, to please not interfere. Do not demand of him "you can't see/talk to Jane Doe anymore", because it will make you look like a demanding, jealous shrew. Trust him that he will do the right thing. If he loves you then it will be a non issue with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author keylime009 Posted May 19, 2015 Author Share Posted May 19, 2015 After I saw the first time she sent him a picture, he blew right by it, as if he never saw it. I did, he brushed it off as if it were no big deal. he didn't feel it was necessary to say anything about not appropriate or please don't send me pictures. He says she has text him in front of me, which is rare, when she does I asked why he doesn't respond in front of me..he says I know it makes you uncomfortable and my time is with you. sounds sweet but I'm buying it anymore. I feel he's going to do what he wants regardless of what I say or ask. I feel maybe they want to stay in touch because things are rocky. He said nice to talk to even told me she is unattractive, which she is, but no intentions with amd she means nothing. So if thats, the case why the need to be in contact? Link to post Share on other sites
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