Breezee Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) My STBXH is an only child and our son is his mother's only grandchild. Just found out that my MIL knows about our separation so I wanted her to know that I didn't want this, that her son chose this. I don't know what I was expecting but "Sorry that you two are going through this." would have been nice to hear. But NO! She was fairly nonchalant and said "Yeah I figured that was the case from what he said." I DO know that he never tells her everything, just what he feels she should know. I mentioned that her grandson was having some difficulty with it because his dad was away for over half of last year. She simply stated that "Well he's a very hard worker, he has very high work ethics." Yes I admire that, but not when he doesn't want to discuss my feelings and/or the feelings of our son. I have put up with cancelled vacations and not being able to plan anything in advance. I've had to dish out most of the discipline because he was hardly around to contribute to parenting. He had begun to really put his job first. I mean I understand that he has a great paying job and I've been thankful that he HAS a job, but not to the detriment of our family. What makes me angry is the fact that it's because of me that we have been either visiting his mother or bringing her to visit us for the past 21 years! It's because of me that she gets a weekly phone call instead of a monthly one. I mean, the first time I met his family it had been about eight years since he'd visited them! I was the reason he even went on the visit. And yet she made me feel as if this STBD is my fault! Yes I know she's basing her opinions on what her son has said, but still it upsets me that she was so un-moved by all of this. Just like her son…brush it all under the rug. It's past midnight and I can't even sleep! It all just hurts and is upsetting. I must be stupid for still wearing my wedding band and holding on to what little hope there is! Why the heck do I still want this man? I pray every night for a miracle…either one way or the other. I just want this hoping and hurting to stop already. I want to get on with my life! Edited April 20, 2015 by Breezee Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Apple....Tree You will be fine. It hurts, it stinks and eventually you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMyCat Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 I know I am wondering what my husband has told his parents...he is the one who asked me to move out, but I doubt he told them that. I guess they found out a month or so later and his mom wrote me an email, wondering what had happened. I kind of let her know it was his idea without saying so outright. She never replied...oh well. It hurts though, we have been married over twenty years. But thinking about it now, if my Mom was alive of course she would "side" with me, though in a very kind way toward my husband. But I guess she would probably not keep in touch with him. There are no kids. But it is still painful...more so for you with a child. But you can't control how others behave...only how you respond. Best to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Breezee Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 Apple....Tree You will be fine. It hurts, it stinks and eventually you will feel better. Uh huh. The funny thing is that from the very beginning he has told pretty much everyone "I love my mother but only in small doses." And I've told him he shouldn't be telling people that. Now I see that he has so much in common with her. Ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
ArtIsMyThing Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Take the ring of love and get on with your life. Let go of other peoples responses, have expectation and hope in yourself and no other. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 It's his mother. Of course she's going to see the best in him. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts