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I will confront my ex-gf about her affair!Wish me luck!


AdamantyumKrystal

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SycamoreCircle

While Elaine is right about not wasting your time diagnosing her, it is another natural response. We want to make sense of the chaos.

 

Family dynamics definitely have a strong hold over the choices people make.

 

I believe that all cheaters exhibit exaggerated degrees of narcissism.

 

And sorry to say but human psychology is not as mysterious as it might look from a distance, in my opinion. From reading other people's stories on LS, I see so many of the same conditions create the same behaviors. So, I think there is some benefit to probing into the whys and hows of our ex's behavior.

 

As for how you should handle separating yourself completely---if friends ask why you're avoiding these two people, you can simply say "I realized we're very different and it would be better if we were apart. I wish them the best." That's it. Say nothing more. If people push for more, tell them it's nothing you prefer to talk about.

 

As for dealing with direct contact with these people, block them on your phone and e-mail. DO NOT READ THEIR TEXTS, ANSWER THEIR CALLS OR LISTEN TO THEIR VOICEMAILS. Do you want to be healed and with a great new girl getting on with your life? Then follow this tenet religiously. I promise you: EVERYDAY YOU LET AN OUNCE OF THEIR TOXICITY INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU PUT ANOTHER GAP OF TIME BETWEEN YOURSELF AND A SUCCESSFUL LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AMAZING.

 

Imagine today you were to meet a knockout girl who was totally into you. The sad fact is you are not whole for her. She deserves better than you. You are broken. You've got to begin fighting to reclaim your self-worth and dignity, so that she does deserve you. How do you do this? By pushing these manipulative people completely out of your life. By finding yourself, your independence and your strength.

 

If you do accidentally run into them, be cool as a cucumber. "Hey there." And keep moving. Be cool and untouchable. They will see from your body language that you can't be touched, that you're inaccessible.

 

You can beat them. You're about to begin your own secret love affair with yourself. With your own self-esteem. And people who can be deemed self-sufficient always earn the respect of people around them.

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It's a waste of your time, time that needs to be spent recovering and getting yourself together. Closure comes from within, not from finding out dirt about your ex and your friend. Your closure is that your ex is gone and has been gone for six months. The more you stupidly try to chase these answers, the more crazy you'll act and the more pain you'll find.

 

Stop chasing answers, stop making ridiculously foolish excuses to stay in contact. All you've done for 10 pages is give excuse after excuse after excuse for why you are acting crazy and for why you are keeping contact with these people. Stop with the excuses and go No Contact. No more arguing, no more trying to find things out, STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Uhm it seems u haven't read what i've said or u didn't understood. If i don't "finnish this quiz" i will never have peace at mind.This process will last at least a few days or 1-2 weeks but after i finally come to an agreement with myself then i will be able to say IT IS OVER and i will not return in the past again to figure things out.By doing this i am not trying to find out dirt about them, believe I AM NOT but the opposite i want to get rid of them from my life from my mind from everything .I will try my bests to detach emotionally from her completely and i will succed!Trust me i don't want this pain anymore i do not want to live the rest of my mornings and nights with heartache and flustered mind!

 

I don't want excuses to stay in contact with them since i already started NC TODAY, happy now? AAAAND when they will finally contact me ,coz they will, i will not answer and i will come and post here and i will get avised not to answer to the bread-crumbs and i will feel proud and pleased with myself that i had the strength to overcome the temptation! :D

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While Elaine is right about not wasting your time diagnosing her, it is another natural response. We want to make sense of the chaos.

 

Family dynamics definitely have a strong hold over the choices people make.

 

I believe that all cheaters exhibit exaggerated degrees of narcissism.

 

And sorry to say but human psychology is not as mysterious as it might look from a distance, in my opinion. From reading other people's stories on LS, I see so many of the same conditions create the same behaviors. So, I think there is some benefit to probing into the whys and hows of our ex's behavior.

 

As for how you should handle separating yourself completely---if friends ask why you're avoiding these two people, you can simply say "I realized we're very different and it would be better if we were apart. I wish them the best." That's it. Say nothing more. If people push for more, tell them it's nothing you prefer to talk about.

 

As for dealing with direct contact with these people, block them on your phone and e-mail. DO NOT READ THEIR TEXTS, ANSWER THEIR CALLS OR LISTEN TO THEIR VOICEMAILS. Do you want to be healed and with a great new girl getting on with your life? Then follow this tenet religiously. I promise you: EVERYDAY YOU LET AN OUNCE OF THEIR TOXICITY INTO YOUR LIFE, YOU PUT ANOTHER GAP OF TIME BETWEEN YOURSELF AND A SUCCESSFUL LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AMAZING.

 

Imagine today you were to meet a knockout girl who was totally into you. The sad fact is you are not whole for her. She deserves better than you. You are broken. You've got to begin fighting to reclaim your self-worth and dignity, so that she does deserve you. How do you do this? By pushing these manipulative people completely out of your life. By finding yourself, your independence and your strength.

 

If you do accidentally run into them, be cool as a cucumber. "Hey there." And keep moving. Be cool and untouchable. They will see from your body language that you can't be touched, that you're inaccessible.

 

You can beat them. You're about to begin your own secret love affair with yourself. With your own self-esteem. And people who can be deemed self-sufficient always earn the respect of people around them.

 

Now you're one of those people whom i love to read the responses with great impatience and curiosity! You have some of the best advices i ever read and i'm happy i have people like these to help me through this!

 

If a new smart and attractive girl would enter my life right now and start buzzing around then i will be ten times easier to move on and start erasing them from my mind, i agree on that but the chances of an dream-girl to magically appear out of nowhere and seduce me with her charms is quite slim so i will choose to focus on myself until i am completely healed!

 

ANd if i know one sure thing about myself ,that is that i am a man of word and will do what i set my mind up to! i may be the biggest procrastinator alive but i will definitely accomplish what i have promised to myself to!

 

IF after maximum 2 weeks from now i will still dwell on these problem and keep asking silly questions then you will know i am a liar and you can mock me and do whatever you want! But i am 100 % sure i will move on completely in these 2 weeks or maybe earlier and i will END THIS traumatic chapter from my life! I will make it , I WILL MAKE IT! and i will thank everyone for the support given here!

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If i don't "finnish this quiz" i will never have peace at mind.

 

I think what is concerning is that the quiz once started is never finished, because there are no real answers. YOU could sit down with her daily for years and never get the real answers.

She told you after the BU, she thought she could fall in love with your friend, and six months down the line that is obviously true as they are seeing each other.

She even blanked you in the street when you met a month ago. She doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

Quiz finished.

Get on with your own life and make the most of it.

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SycamoreCircle
Now you're one of those people whom i love to read the responses with great impatience and curiosity! You have some of the best advices i ever read and i'm happy i have people like these to help me through this!

 

If a new smart and attractive girl would enter my life right now and start buzzing around then i will be ten times easier to move on and start erasing them from my mind, i agree on that but the chances of an dream-girl to magically appear out of nowhere and seduce me with her charms is quite slim so i will choose to focus on myself until i am completely healed!

 

ANd if i know one sure thing about myself ,that is that i am a man of word and will do what i set my mind up to! i may be the biggest procrastinator alive but i will definitely accomplish what i have promised to myself to!

 

IF after maximum 2 weeks from now i will still dwell on these problem and keep asking silly questions then you will know i am a liar and you can mock me and do whatever you want! But i am 100 % sure i will move on completely in these 2 weeks or maybe earlier and i will END THIS traumatic chapter from my life! I will make it , I WILL MAKE IT! and i will thank everyone for the support given here!

These things take time. When bodily chemicals interact with another person's bodily chemicals and time elapses and two people travel through time together, it can be a tough thing to move past. However long it takes you---no matter. All that matters is that you start the journey and you stay committed to the journey.

 

Promise LS you won't be on here next week with the title "She Sent Me A Text Message, What Should I Say?" You now know what to say: DELETE. BLOCK.

 

As for the unlikeliness of you meeting an amazing girl soon---when I was at the peak of my post-BU pain, seeking any ear that would hear my story and offer support, I met so many women that were keen on hooking up with me. It's the vulnerability. One woman actually said to me, "I feel that...you would never hurt me." Where were all these women when I was single and seeking??? Life is strange.

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AdamantyumKrystal

 

Promise LS you won't be on here next week with the title "She Sent Me A Text Message, What Should I Say?" You now know what to say: DELETE. BLOCK.

 

I really hope so to! And nope i will not say anything to them.

Most likely he will call me after he notices i've started NC but i will not answer.He may come to my house to ask what has happened , what would you do in this situation? SHould i tell him truth(which is that i know about 'em) or should i simply respond that it's better for us to go our separate ways bcoz reasons.

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I really hope so to! And nope i will not say anything to them.

Most likely he will call me after he notices i've started NC but i will not answer.He may come to my house to ask what has happened , what would you do in this situation? SHould i tell him truth(which is that i know about 'em) or should i simply respond that it's better for us to go our separate ways bcoz reasons.

 

Knowing what he knows, I doubt he will pursue you if you block him, but I would not say anything about your snooping, if he does show up.

I guess he will work out pretty quickly why you have blocked him and her, without you saying anything.

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I really hope so to! And nope i will not say anything to them.

Most likely he will call me after he notices i've started NC but i will not answer.He may come to my house to ask what has happened , what would you do in this situation? SHould i tell him truth(which is that i know about 'em) or should i simply respond that it's better for us to go our separate ways bcoz reasons.

If he comes to your house, tell him "I'm not available today and I think it would be best for both of us if you stopped coming here. Thanks." The rule is this: be unemotional, offer nothing which gives them the lead-in to "talk it over" with you or to "explain" themselves.

 

Nothing they say can undo the betrayal and hurt they've committed to. What's done is done. Their conscience will give them far better answers as to how to settle the matter. But that is their problem, not yours. You are tired of being anyone's doormat. You are tired of being a sucker. You are drawing a big line in the sand and saying "This is it. No one EVER crosses this line with me again. If they do, they're out. It's finished."

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If he comes to your house, tell him "I'm not available today and I think it would be best for both of us if you stopped coming here. Thanks." The rule is this: be unemotional, offer nothing which gives them the lead-in to "talk it over" with you or to "explain" themselves.

 

Nothing they say can undo the betrayal and hurt they've committed to. What's done is done. Their conscience will give them far better answers as to how to settle the matter. But that is their problem, not yours. You are tired of being anyone's doormat. You are tired of being a sucker. You are drawing a big line in the sand and saying "This is it. No one EVER crosses this line with me again. If they do, they're out. It's finished."

 

True that. I wonder how i will feel about this in a few years when i will be moved on and into a stable relation-ship. I know i am cutting off with them for my own good and I know myself pretty good to know that i cannot hold an grudge forever.God asks us to forgive but also to stay away from people who won't want our forgiveness or won't apologise for their mistakes(them in my case). Would i be able ever again to "reconnect " down the road in this life?

Possible that in the future they won't cross my mind and i may not want to hear of them ever again.

 

Possible scenario 1: They will actually change into better persons and they might look for me to ask for forgiveness and i would forgive them but not be able to let them in my life again.EVER.(a lil bit uncertain)or they could still change and do nothing.

 

Possible scenario 2: They will never change no matter what and keep doing harm to the ones around them and they would still want to manipulate me for selfish reasons again in which case i would still hold to NC.

 

No xcuse this time i know what i have to do right now and i will stick to my decision, this questions are for the far averted future. :)

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SycamoreCircle

If they never face consequences for mistreating you, they will probably never grasp fully that what they did was unconscionable.

 

When my BU happened, I had cause to reflect on an old friendship that happened when I was a young teen.

 

Demetrius and I were friends in middle school. He was one of the few black dudes at my school that seemed to look past my being white and relate to me on some level. I thought he was a really cool guy. We would draw and share our own versions of Nikes all the time.

 

When we transitioned to high-school, he changed. I would see him out during lunch and approach him. "Get away from me, weak bitch." It gradually dawned on me that, because he was now the small fish in a big pond and there were older, more sophisticated guys, especially black guys, that he wanted to cozy up to being friends with me was problematic. I had no clout. So we drifted apart.

 

About 10 years later, I received a Myspace(ha!) message from him. By that point, I had no ill will towards him and replied. Almost immediately, he revealed that his marriage(which I knew nothing about) had just ended. She was divorcing and leaving him. I offered him some consolation and we sent a few more e-mails.

 

What prompted this? It's a very simple law. When we do someone wrong, that wrong becomes accountable when we hit our lowest, when we are faced with the inexorable emptiness of our circumstances. We face our baseness. And all the wrongs we committed against other people rise before us and challenge us.

 

Now, you may never hear from these people 10 years down the line. But I promise you that, at some point, they will be held accountable for the wrongs they did you. And it will be when they are suffering and are at their lowest.

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As i don't have another "mate" to spend my time around with right now i find the hardest to cope and fight against the loneliness thoughts and thinking that while i stay here alone in my room SHE might be togheter with him or she could talk to him and feel happy. THese are toxic thoughts and it seems that this battle against my emotional-self it's harder than i anticipated.

I have to convince myself that she was just a immature-gurl who used me and she didn't loved me at all.I have to kill my memories with her and convince myself that it was falsity and i was only another one on her list and she used me for her selfish purposes.(aka bad bici who wants to break hearts)

I am far better than that i am an unique man with integrity and self-respect and valors which i hold on to. I must not let the past bother me anymore .I have to listen what everyone said to me till now and i have to use all my seriosity! I deserve an kind honest gurl to love me for whom i truly am.It's not that i wasn't good enough for her, SHE wasn't good enough for me! I am not the perfect man alive but i gave my best to try to please her and treat her like a princess! She does not deserve my care and grattitude.

 

I WILL STAND UP FOR MYSELF. i will not be a doormat anymore. I have been an lamb for too long.My own sanity and survival is at stake i have to be my best self right now and to start scoring happiness points in my majestous trunk of wonders. I will not allow any lies from them towards me anymore.

 

I deserve much better.I am much stronger than this.I will not let toxic people in my life no more . I will be immune to their "attacks" and manipulations. I shall become unbreakable. This tragic event cannot stop my evolution as an human individual.I will cast away emotionally-draining people and i will reach my destination.I shall not fear abandonment and failure anymore.I shall be exclusive towards Opression.

 

Damn, self-motivational speeches are quite helpful! :D i shall do this more often.

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SycamoreCircle

Now would be a good time to dedicate yourself to a hobby.

 

Anything you've secretly wished to undertake?

 

Bodybuilding

Guitar

Music production

Foreign language

Martial Arts

Cooking

Gardening

 

You can meet new people, discover new talents in yourself, learn and open up parts of yourself you never thought you had.

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Yeah,quite a few stuff. I shall resume exercising,studying and interacting with people again. I have to make myself useful again... somehow one way or another.

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It's weird though.Never thought i'll have a girlfriend.When she came into my life i felt like in the ninth heaven.Strange,deliquate,lovely.Hmm i wonder if i shall feel those cute butterflies in my belly again :v. She is an attractive teen with very few friends and she is very intelligent.I still feel that he doesn't deserve her.She had most of the qualities i wanted in a girl. And i don't wanna end up comparing the next girl to her.I know for sure there are plenty of smart,funny beautiful gurls still left out there ,i really hope i won't screw it up next time again.First thing i should do is regaining my confidence back, slowly and in small baby steps every day a lil bit of work coz i am tired of depressions and ilnesses, i wanna go out there in the world and feel joy again i wanna love and i wanna be loved , and i promise to myself i will never do to another girl what she did to me.I remember when she told me how bad her ex treated her and how much he made her suffer,she told me she is so afraid that she will do the same thing to me and and she might regret it her entire life and hate herself for that.She even told me once that she is afraid to leave me coz she would come back to me later.She was giving false hope to me while still in the relationship and i was such a moron to let her control me like that.

I could not do thiz to anyone else.It's too cruel.Merciless.As much as i can i will try to help people who will have the badluck of going thru what i've been to.I don't wanna see this kind of suffering on anyone else.Godspeed.

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SADNESS
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Elaine is right. When you don't respond they're going to talk. Then, your Ex friend will ask your Ex girlfriend to contact you and see if you respond or not or vice versa. When you don't respond, they're going to know something went wrong and they're going to analyze where they went wrong. It's going to drive them insane not knowing if you know or not because you're not talking. They won't be able to gage the extent of what you know about their relationship or how deep it goes, so they'll be afraid that they may say too much and tip their hand.

 

 

I don't know your living situation. If your living with family, just tell them if Ex friend shows up, have them tell him that you're not home. If you live alone, if there's a knock at the door, look out the peephole or the peek out the window and if you see that it's him, don't answer.

 

 

If you're out and you see them, turn around and walk away. Hopefully, you'll see them before they see you. If they happen to see you and they call out to you, just nod in their direction and walk away.

 

 

But, if you take on the advice here and get new hobbies and get a new job, you won't be home enough to worry about them showing up at your door, you'll be out and busy. The key is to KEEP BUSY!

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Elaine is right. When you don't respond they're going to talk. Then, your Ex friend will ask your Ex girlfriend to contact you and see if you respond or not or vice versa. When you don't respond, they're going to know something went wrong and they're going to analyze where they went wrong. It's going to drive them insane not knowing if you know or not because you're not talking. They won't be able to gage the extent of what you know about their relationship or how deep it goes, so they'll be afraid that they may say too much and tip their hand.

 

 

 

OR She will ask my ex friend to contact me and see if i respond but as i already have decided i will NOT respond to them anymore , and what do you mean they will tip their hand?

And for the record i do not live alone. :)

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SycamoreCircle
i really hope i won't screw it up next time again.
Stop telling yourself this stuff. Look, maybe you were an amazing boyfriend and maybe you were a less than an amazing boyfriend. It doesn't matter. Her behavior has no justification. Lying to your SO and having sex with their best friend is deplorable.

 

After my girlfriend had been living with me a while, we were curled up one day in bed and she said to me, "You are the most wonderful man." About three months later, she was telling her friends and family that I was a stupid, negative, unmotivated half-formed man who couldn't f*** and was dragging her down. She accused me of emotional blackmail and said the only redeeming quality of the relationship was the food I cooked for her. She even swore off ever dating a "nice guy" again.

 

What defense do you give to this? It's inexplicable. It has no bearing in reality.

 

The one thing she left out of her rant to friends and family is that there was another more moneyed, more successful man who had ties to upper echelon people associated with her career who had taken an interest in her.

 

My point is that if someone wants to eject you from their life, they can always find a reason. Those reasons may be valid and they may be pure malarkey. Everyone is entitled to eject another person from their life. But I can't stress enough that it should be done with as much tact and honesty as possible.

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OR She will ask my ex friend to contact me and see if i respond but as i already have decided i will NOT respond to them anymore , and what do you mean they will tip their hand?

And for the record i do not live alone. :)

 

 

Right now, they think you're in the dark. That you don't know anything. With this new change in behavior in you, they won't know what caused it. And they're going to ask themselves if you found out about them or not. So, they won't know what to say to you. As far as they knew, you were clueless. So, God willing, they may not say anything to you at all.

 

 

The only time you might hear from her is if and when they decide to make their relationship public. Then, she might send you and email telling you that "She wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else" crap. And I would suspect that she would somehow turn it on you and laughably make it your fault too! Probably tell you something along the lines of "because you never responded to us and 'abandoned' us, we started to hang out and we found solace in each other and developed feelings."

 

 

But, here's the rub. You know the truth. They've lied to you, betrayed you and tried to deceive you. So, ignore it if it ever comes.

 

 

Also, I forgot to add to my last post. If a friend asks you out for a group outing, always ask who's going to be there before hand. If they say your Ex or your Ex friend, just tell them you have something else planned but you'll try to make it if you can. Then just don't show up.

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Right now, they think you're in the dark. That you don't know anything. With this new change in behavior in you, they won't know what caused it. And they're going to ask themselves if you found out about them or not. So, they won't know what to say to you. As far as they knew, you were clueless. So, God willing, they may not say anything to you at all.

 

 

The only time you might hear from her is if and when they decide to make their relationship public. Then, she might send you and email telling you that "She wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else" crap. And I would suspect that she would somehow turn it on you and laughably make it your fault too! Probably tell you something along the lines of "because you never responded to us and 'abandoned' us, we started to hang out and we found solace in each other and developed feelings."

 

 

But, here's the rub. You know the truth. They've lied to you, betrayed you and tried to deceive you. So, ignore it if it ever comes.

 

 

Also, I forgot to add to my last post. If a friend asks you out for a group outing, always ask who's going to be there before hand. If they say your Ex or your Ex friend, just tell them you have something else planned but you'll try to make it if you can. Then just don't show up.

And I would just add to Chi's advice---don't work your way into a tangled web of lies, as well. Avoid them, but if they or other people get in your face about all of you being together or not being together, stand up for yourself. Just don't put anyone else down in the process.

 

-It's best if I don't come.

 

-It would be best for both of us if you did not come here anymore.

 

-We have differences and it's best if we be apart.

 

-That's not something I'm inclined to talk about.

 

-I'd rather not talk about it. Thanks.

 

-Now is not a good time for me. Good luck.

 

Think of yourself as a politician. Politicians find ways to say things and keep everyone placated without rocking the boat. You don't want drama. You don't want attention. You don't want to expose anything or cause harm to anyone. You are a rock. You are an island unto yourself. You go your way, other people go theirs. Easy as that.

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Yes i know it's weird that i still want to reconcile, i guess it's maybe an glance of hope from my emotional part which misses the love we had.Yes that image will never get out of it unless i get Alzheimer's.Alzheimer would be great right now! or at least Amnesia :v . You are saying to me to let her go and all of those rejective options but how can i possibly to this over-night with the girl i would've once died for? my first love my first everything.. Yes i do feel betrayed and the most dumb person to walk on the face of the earth . i hate that i have been fooled like this for so long .. I just cannot pretend without succumbing one day so i have to expose them and bring peace to my mind&body . Either i do this as fast as possible or i will lose my sanity!

 

Dude...

 

Look dude...

 

I know where you're coming from. I've been there. I did exactly what you say you want to do. All it did was extend the pain way beyond what it should have been. The longer you stay focused on her, the longer it's going to hurt. She's gone and it's over. I know that's not what you want to hear. Believe me. I know. But your best bet is to let it go and move on.

 

Put it this way...

 

One year from now you can either be over her, or you can still be stalking her hoping she comes back.

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You live with your parents?

Yep. Till i will get a job or i guess , not quite sure yet..

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The only time you might hear from her is if and when they decide to make their relationship public. Then, she might send you and email telling you that "She wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else" crap. And I would suspect that she would somehow turn it on you and laughably make it your fault too! Probably tell you something along the lines of "because you never responded to us and 'abandoned' us, we started to hang out and we found solace in each other and developed feelings."

 

.

yeah,i highly doubt they would make it public,if she would do that her dad would repeat the same story :forbiding her to see him anymore.And while they're lying to everyone there's a pretty high chance they're lying to eachother too about going public and other false promises. my only curiosity would be when they realize how stupid&liars they are and which one is gonna end it first.or cheat. Edited by AdamantyumKrystal
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Weird feelings today :\ Every answer i find down the road seems to make me more aware of what actually happened.

I read today a letter from her which she wrote to me in our second month togheter. After many " i love you's" it says that i quote

 

- " I'm...I'm so scared i'm gonna dissapoint you and let you down.'"

 

IT seems to me that she was unsure about herself and her feelings .She wasn't looking for an serious relationship.I was the rebound guy :| .Somehow strangely i feel comforted and relieved while realising this but it still hurts like crap.She told me 2 or 3 times that i will meet other girls during my life and i'll be happier than then. OFc i didn't believed her and told her it's not true etc.

 

SO..i had been used.Yeah i have been used... She is just experiencing/enjoying life and uses her teenhood at maximum despise the hurt and sorrow she may cause,not having the necesarry maturity to realise or emphatise consequences yet.

 

I would've take this all far more easier if this "foe friend" wouldn't had got involved.Fine then. Leave me ,break my heart and my hopes but don't cross the limits for fudge sake! I would've viewed her and accept her much easier if it would've been a clean break-up without any betrayals involved.BUT after this incident he/she lost all of my respect and sympathy. I don't care if you thought i was the "ONE" once , you just don't hurt someone like this for your own selfish purposes of "living" life and harm others. She believes that if she doesn't find another one as good as me in the next cycle of "victims" then she can just open the old drawer and get that "old barbie-puppet with strings attached" coming back to me like nothing happened and trying to reconcile things.

 

Well NOPE. I won't sit around waiting for you to clear your mind,grow up and decide what you want in life.You are out of chances,lady! I don't care how sorry you will be and how many apologies u'r gonna shoot at me coz i won't fall for the same tricks again! But i still hope i won't be single when that time comes :v

 

I now know that this wasn't all of my fault! I had mine too i admit that but this behaviour and selfishism is unacceptable!

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