what type of guy girls ACTUALLY want?

[Jet96]

Im 18 never had a girlfriend,never had been kissed and still a virgin . I actually want a long term committed relationship with a young lady and not just trying to get in her pants. I love telling a girl my feelings for her on paper with my many poems i write or with my own mouth i really mean these things they come from my own heart thats just the way i am but it ends with them knowing how i feel and say they feel the same but end up going to someone else either an ex who broke thier heart or just "someone better" freezing my heart and dropping it from a ten storie window(btw these was 2 different girls others wouldn't give me a chance)would want to be the prince in a girls life and just want to be able to hold my princess in my arms

 

Because i really care about her and want to protect her often think about what shes going to be like my future wife and try my best too keep chivalry alive(im just a one of a kind guy )Im the type of guy that girls say they want but clearly dosent want to give a chance but i realise its not a nice guy or a bad boy thing, treat them good or be an @ss hole thing its a who looks better or "bottom line is he hot ?"thing we live in a superficial shallow world im

 

I'm trying my best to fix my appearance a lot so i can keep up with the superficial world so my natural ways and feelings for her will MEAN something to her so i can i finally hear a "yes" instead of 100 different ways of saying NO either a polite or non polite (at this point its either you like me or you don't and if you do you would want to go out with me then )way so please girls and im not trying to be mean. But say what you want and want what you mean .

Edited April 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Some semblance of paragraphs and move to ISO

[neowulf]

The thing you need to understand is that the problem isn't "out there" with women. The problem is inside. With you. Your attitude. The way you view the world.

 

You can't change women. You can't change the way the world is. You *must* adapt to find a way forward that works for you.

 

What you're doing isn't working for you. Therefore, you must reflect on what you're doing, come up with a new approach and try. again.

 

The last thread you posted along these lines had lots of advice for you on how to go about getting a girlfriend.

Edited April 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact full quote and references to post formatting

[neowulf]

Jet, I'm 36.

 

I've been dating since I was 16, with at most a 12 month gap between relationships.

 

I am not a rock star, or a male model. I'm just an average guy.

 

But I know how to speak with women like they're people. I know how to make them laugh. I can be supportive, reliable. I can make them feel like the most beautiful women in the room. Women *like* me, regardless of whether they'd ever sleep with me or not.

 

That's why I'm never single for long.

 

Instead of complaining women aren't picking up what you're selling, how about you ask yourself "What do I bring to the table, as a man?"

[Jet96]

Jet.. you might find people more receptive if you throw a paragraph in there now and then. It's really difficult to read through your post.

 

That said, the thing you need to understand is that the problem isn't "out there" with women. The problem is inside. With you. Your attitude. The way you view the world.

 

You can't change women. You can't change the way the world is. You *must* adapt to find a way forward that works for you.

 

What you're doing isn't working for you. Therefore, you must reflect on what you're doing, come up with a new approach and try. again.

 

The last thread you posted along these lines had lots of advice for you on how to go about getting a girlfriend.

I just want to know if i my personality is wrong this kind caring sweet guy that girls complian they want thats ME its just who i am

And i have tried the advice but my looks is the only thing that would matter regardless of personality and im not speaking on assumptions its personal experience a girl would want a guy thats IS Attractive regardless and being the way i am in my heart wouldn't be a turn off if my looks where harry styles because thats what really matters in this world and im trying too go with it dosent mean im gonna change emotionaly but my apearence so that my personality will matter .

[Bohonia]

Trying to make sense of your post... She has in apparently many ways told you she's not interested. You're talking about turing this girl or these girls into your wife (can't really tell your post is kind of all over the place) but you're not with any of them. Maybe they just don't like you romantically...

[Jet96]

Jet, I'm 36.

 

I've been dating since I was 16, with at most a 12 month gap between relationships.

 

I am not a rock star, or a male model. I'm just an average guy.

 

But I know how to speak with women like they're people. I know how to make them laugh. I can be supportive, reliable. I can make them feel like the most beautiful women in the room. Women *like* me, regardless of whether they'd ever sleep with me or not.

 

That's why I'm never single for long.

 

Instead of complaining women aren't picking up what you're selling, how about you ask yourself "What do I bring to the table, as a man?"

But when they first see you when you say hi to them if they're intrested in you or not base on appearance that other stuff will come later just like the bad boy or the jock thats is their appearance they see first then personality its human nature might as well accept it.

[Jet96]

Maybe they just don't like you romantically...

 

Yeah i can see that thats how they really feel .

[neowulf]

I just want to know if i my personality is wrong this kind caring sweet guy that girls complian they want thats ME its just who i am

And i have tried the advice but my looks is the only thing that would matter regardless of personality and im not speaking on assumptions its personal experience a girl would want a guy thats IS Attractive regardless and being the way i am in my heart wouldn't be a turn off if my looks where harry styles because thats what really matters in this world and im trying too go with it dosent mean im gonna change emotionaly but my apearence so that my personality will matter .

 

Jet, sorry to ask, but is English your first language? Your posts are kind of tricky to follow.

 

Listen, something you *must* come to terms with.

 

There are women in this world who will NEVER like you romantically.

It has noting to do with you. Or them. It's just how it is.

 

You are getting tied up in the idea that if you could some how change your looks, you'll magically stop being rejected and get the girl. I'm telling you it won't matter as much as you think it does.

 

Women go out with completely average men all the time. Looks get their attention, but it's the personality of the guy that they fall in love with.

 

Just like there are women who will *never* want you, there are women who really DO want you. Your job is to find those women and approach them.

 

You're coming across as needy, with very low self worth and self confidence.

You need to spend your energy addressing *those* aspects, not your looks.

[Bohonia]

I just want to know if i my personality is wrong this kind caring sweet guy that girls complian they want thats ME its just who i am

And i have tried the advice but my looks is the only thing that would matter regardless of personality and im not speaking on assumptions its personal experience a girl would want a guy thats IS Attractive regardless and being the way i am in my heart wouldn't be a turn off if my looks where harry styles because thats what really matters in this world and im trying too go with it dosent mean im gonna change emotionaly but my apearence so that my personality will matter .

 

HUGE RED FLAG = a man who tells you he is a kind, sweet and caring man, trust the opinions of close friends and family of the person not his opinion of himself..

 

Attraction to others is chemical and biological we really don't have a choice.

[neowulf]

HUGE RED FLAG = a man who tells you he is a kind, sweet and caring man, trust the opinions of close friends and family of the person not his opinion of himself..

 

Attraction to others is chemical and biological we really don't have a choice.

 

Real men *demonstrate* those qualities, through being kind and caring. Not just to the woman he's dating, but to people in general.

[neowulf]

But when they first see you when you say hi to them if they're intrested in you or not base on appearance that other stuff will come later just like the bad boy or the jock thats is their appearance they see first then personality its human nature might as well accept it.

 

Yes, but that's life Jet.

 

There's "acceptance" and there's "bitterness"

 

If I'm not a woman's type, sure it stings, but I remind myself it's not personal.

She can't help what she finds attractive anymore than I can.

 

All I can do is put myself out there and try. And fail. Alot

 

Let it go Jet, just breath, accept that it's not personal and do your best at becoming the best man you can be.

[Jet96]

Real men *demonstrate* those qualities, through being kind and caring. Not just to the woman he's dating, but to people in general.

 

I do people will generally do in my social life but in my dating life its like "your sweet and any girl would be lucky to have you kind of thing i keep hearing

[Jet96]

HUGE RED FLAG = a man who tells you he is a kind, sweet and caring man, trust the opinions of close friends and family of the person not his opinion of himself..

 

Attraction to others is chemical and biological we really don't have a choice.

I do people will generally do in my social life but in my dating life its like "your sweet and any girl would be lucky to have you kind of thing i keep hearing btw they do say i am lots of time with people even with CLose friends that try too hook me up its "oh hes really nice and everything you said he was but.... " then here comes the "just give me time" and a better looking guy comes along and its a jump right at it situation also i hear when girls are 35 an single its not such a red flag anymore but strangely its like where are all the (guys like me are )

[Jet96]

Yes, but that's life Jet.

 

There's "acceptance" and there's "bitterness"

 

If I'm not a woman's type, sure it stings, but I remind myself it's not personal.

She can't help what she finds attractive anymore than I can.

 

All I can do is put myself out there and try. And fail. Alot

 

Let it go Jet, just breath, accept that it's not personal and do your best at becoming the best man you can be.

i do know of men that dosent bring sh it to the table as a man but still have girlfriends who cant depend on them for anything i know you know what im talking about so explain that .

[neowulf]

i do know of men that dosent bring sh it to the table as a man but still have girlfriends who cant depend on them for anything i know you know what im talking about so explain that .

 

Ok, do you want a relationship like that? Where you treat women like crap, where they end up damaged? Where people look at you like a loser, because you're so disrespectful, both to women and yourself?

 

Are those really the people you want to try and emulate? You want to be like those guys? Really? Why? Just to get laid? You already said "You don't just want to get laid".

 

So make a choice. Stop complaining about things you can't change and focus on improving yourself.

 

What other people do doesn't *matter*. So what if jerks are gettings girls. Are you a jerk? Do you want to be one? Just to get laid? NO!

 

Find a way make peace with who you are Jet. Learn to leverage your strengths, instead of wasting so much energy wishing the world was different, or that you were magically a different person.

[Jet96]

Ok, do you want a relationship like that? Where you treat women like crap, where they end up damaged? Where people look at you like a loser, because you're so disrespectful, both to women and yourself?

 

Are those really the people you want to try and emulate? You want to be like those guys? Really? Why? Just to get laid? You already said "You don't just want to get laid".

 

So make a choice. Stop complaining about things you can't change and focus on improving yourself.

 

What other people do doesn't *matter*. So what if jerks are gettings girls. Are you a jerk? Do you want to be one? Just to get laid? NO!

 

Find a way make peace with who you are Jet. Learn to leverage your strengths, instead of wasting so much energy wishing the world was different, or that you were magically a different person.

No i dont but just want that intil chance that they got but insted treat them with the respect they deserve btw even if the girl breaks up with him he can just get another one just by his attractiveness that. Dosent sound like a loser to others im just changing my physical appearance not my kind caring personality God blessed me with . I just need the same chance there getting but with better decisions along the way .

Edited April 21, 2015 by Jet96

[ZA Dater]

I do people will generally do in my social life but in my dating life its like "your sweet and any girl would be lucky to have you kind of thing i keep hearing

 

This is a pet hate of mine, every time I hear this I feel almost compelled to want to pick up something and throw it at the person telling this patronising nonsense.

[clia]

Well, looks do matter, especially to (many) high school/college girls. Have you done everything you can do to improve your appearance? Are you in shape, nice haircut, clear skin? Do you dress well? How do you carry yourself?

 

At that age, popularity and confidence may also be of help to you. By popularity, I don't mean you have to rule the school, but where do you fall in your own social circle? Do you have friends? Do you go out, participate in sports, clubs or other extracurricular activities, etc.? Do people know who you are at your school?

 

And while some people on this board don't believe in "leagues," I do. What kind of girls are you going for who keep turning you down? Do you run in the same social circles as they do? Are they in your classes? Do you have anything in common with them?

 

I'm just trying to get a feel for you and the kind of girls you are after.

[Jet96]

Well, looks do matter, especially to (many) high school/college girls. Have you done everything you can do to improve your appearance? Are you in shape, nice haircut, clear skin? Do you dress well? How do you carry yourself?

 

At that age, popularity and confidence may also be of help to you. By popularity, I don't mean you have to rule the school, but where do you fall in your own social circle? Do you have friends? Do you go out, participate in sports, clubs or other extracurricular activities, etc.? Do people know who you are at your school?

 

And while some people on this board don't believe in "leagues," I do. What kind of girls are you going for who keep turning you down? Do you run in the same social circles as they do? Are they in your classes? Do you have anything in common with them?

 

I'm just trying to get a feel for you and the kind of girls you are after.

all different kinds of girls some would want to get to know me but turn me down at the end others look at me and its like no thanks im alright but will try to get me with someone else i go after different girls in different social circles but they all want looks at first your personality dosent matter as long as you have looks im trying to change my physical appearance to have the same chance as the "hot" ones do that "first glance chance " but i wont be an @ss hole i wont change who i am emotionaly as a person they wouldn't turn channing tatum or fabio down ?

[shvrk]

all different kinds of girls some would want to get to know me but turn me down at the end others look at me and its like no thanks im alright but will try to get me with someone else i go after different girls in different social circles but they all want looks at first your personality dosent matter as long as you have looks im trying to change my physical appearance to have the same chance as the "hot" ones do that "first glance chance " but i wont be an @ss hole i wont change who i am emotionaly as a person they wouldn't turn channing tatum or fabio down ?

 

Maybe just don't worry about it for a couple of years and worry about improving yourself for you, not for some shallow chicks.

[Dork Vader]

Did not read your entire post. But I will say this..

 

There is no standard that woman go off of. Every single women wants something different in the man they date. You might find some commonalities but that is about it. An example would be you might find a lot of women like guys who play a musical instrument. You might also find a lot of women want a "man". But their definition of a man will vary.

 

The best thing you can do is form friendships with women. Just hang out with them have fun with them and enjoy the relationship for what it is. If you find your self liking one specific woman more then the others then you should try and spend more time with that woman.

 

Have fun enjoy life for what it is right now..

[clia]

all different kinds of girls some would want to get to know me but turn me down at the end others look at me and its like no thanks im alright but will try to get me with someone else i go after different girls in different social circles but they all want looks at first your personality dosent matter as long as you have looks im trying to change my physical appearance to have the same chance as the "hot" ones do that "first glance chance " but i wont be an @ss hole i wont change who i am emotionaly as a person they wouldn't turn channing tatum or fabio down ?

 

I'm honestly having trouble understanding your response due to the massive run on sentence and almost complete lack of punctuation.

 

Yes, looks matter. It sounds like you have some work to do on your appearance. What are you doing to change your physical appearance? Do you dress well, have a nice haircut, clear skin, and in shape?

 

And it sounds like some girls who turned you down are trying to set you up with other girls? What's wrong with those girls? Why not go after them?

 

I don't think anyone is telling you to be an @sshole.

[Jet96]

And it sounds like some girls who turned you down are trying to set you up with other girls? What's wrong with those girls? Why not go after them?

 

I don't think anyone is telling you to be an @sshole.

 

They end up not wanting me either .

[guest569]

There is no "type", its just a matter of clicking with the right person and being intrigued and attracted to each other, sadly this sometimes takes some trial and error and heartache.. What more can I say? I dont know the details but as for type, good looking, kind, smart, gentle, funny. Comfortable to be myself around.