badronald Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Hi all. First time ever doing anything like this. I figured maybe some people that have had the same experience could provide some well needed insight. Just a brief back story. I was married for almost 20 years. Had some issues with depression and anxiety and kind of withdrew from life for a while. A while being about a year, until she gave me divorce papers. Up until that time, (my issues) our marriage really was great. We would talk to each other about how much better we got a long than all of our married friends. We did all of the necessary legal stuff and I moved out in September at her request. Here's where I'm severely struggling... Every thing I've read and everyone I talk to tells me I need to get out and do things. I can't. Everything reminds me of her. When I try something different, I think of how much she would have enjoyed it. I'm stuck and have gotten to the point where I go to work and that's about it. I want to take a little vacation with my son but can't. I know I'll be miserable wishing she was there and it won't be a fun trip. It's been almost 8 months and it's just as bad as ever. Are there any tips to not think this way? How long does feeling like this last? I know everyone is different, but this is no way to live. Any advice or suggestions or links would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMyCat Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 It sounds like your depressin/anxiety is back, if in fact it ever left you. You should not be so low after eight months. I hope you will talk to your doctor or a therapist. We cannot control what others do, or what they want their lives to be, only our own. She must be moving on, or has moved on...you need to do the same. Not to say it is easy, it is not. But you can do it, even if you need some meds or talk therapy to help you on a temporary basis. You won't be of much use to your child until you feel better about yourself and your life. Good luck...I am in the process of ending a 20-year marriage as well. It is mutual but still painful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author badronald Posted April 20, 2015 Author Share Posted April 20, 2015 I'm talking to a therapist and taking meds. I couldn't imagine coping otherwise. 20 years is a long time to be with and care so much about someone. I'm sure it will get easier. It's tough. Link to post Share on other sites
ArtIsMyThing Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Please don't blame yourself because of any anxiety or depression issues. All dumpees blame themselves and set the dumper up as perfect. Please DO go take that holiday - and a big hugs to you Link to post Share on other sites
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