Author FrozenChosen Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) I think this is more than a one-time incident and it's likely there's been an emotional affair going on between you. Blame alcohol if you want, I don't buy it. No, not an emotional affair. I don't have those kind of feelings for the friend (OK, I understand that some people disagree with calling him a friend, so just think of him as "Dude #2). Edited May 1, 2015 by FrozenChosen Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) No, not an emotional affair. I don't have those kind of feelings for the friend (OK, I understand that some people disagree with calling him a friend, so just think of him as "Dude #2). Okay. So you're not going to do anything and now, you're somewhat defending this other guy by referring to him as "Dude 2" when he should be "Dude youre gone!" Are you going to get RID of Dude 2 like you should and cut off all contact with him? If not, you need to quit being selfish, quit lying to yourself about NOT having an emotional affair, and END IT with your current bf. You're clearly not doing the lifting you SHOULD be doing here and the drinking thing is starting to sound like an excuse. Remember, I said "If Not" so if you ARE, then everything I said shouldn't apply. Edited May 1, 2015 by fireflywy Link to post Share on other sites
DJOkawari Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Tell your boyfriend what you did. Better to be honest even when you make mistakes like this. Actions like yours have consequences. Sometimes people can forgive those behaviors in alcoholics like you. Others are not so forgiving. This. Your relationship is going to be tested now but this could be a good thing. You have a very big reason to solve your problem. If your boyfriend can't handle it, then he can't handle it. I understand what your psychiatrist is saying but ask yourself this question: when you imagined your ideal relationship, do you tell your bf when this happens or not? Does he forgive you and work through it or not? Don't erode your standards because of fear. Also, there is nothing wrong with what happened as long as it is accepted as a one time mistake. Everyone makes mistakes and our societal obsession with commitment kills more relationships than incompatibility. It's all about the life you want to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrozenChosen Posted May 10, 2015 Author Share Posted May 10, 2015 This. Your relationship is going to be tested now but this could be a good thing. You have a very big reason to solve your problem. If your boyfriend can't handle it, then he can't handle it. I understand what your psychiatrist is saying but ask yourself this question: when you imagined your ideal relationship, do you tell your bf when this happens or not? Does he forgive you and work through it or not? Don't erode your standards because of fear. Also, there is nothing wrong with what happened as long as it is accepted as a one time mistake. Everyone makes mistakes and our societal obsession with commitment kills more relationships than incompatibility. It's all about the life you want to live. UPDATE: I told him in person, and we're going to try and work it out. He ultimately told me he's glad that I told him and that there were other things we needed to talk about. Thanks for the support, folks! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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