Carm Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I've seen it here, people talking about the book, The 5 love languages of love. After spending some time reading it and doing the quiz, I figured out my language of love is words of affirmation. It's pretty obvious that my BF's is physical touch. Question....do you think as a partner you should put effort into giving your other half what they need to feel loved? How would you go about bringing this topic up? Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I would and I did. He didn't. It killed our marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I've seen it here, people talking about the book, The 5 love languages of love. After spending some time reading it and doing the quiz, I figured out my language of love is words of affirmation. It's pretty obvious that my BF's is physical touch. Question....do you think as a partner you should put effort into giving your other half what they need to feel loved? How would you go about bringing this topic up? How else would the relationship work? I think it's necessary. Purchase the book or send them a link to the site and tell them you've found an interesting read that will help the relationship that you want to work on together. In my relationships I actually take the test and share it with my SO and it has worked as a good bonding activity and space for us to be able to talk about our likes and needs in terms of giving and receiving love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Absolutely. That's what it is all about. When you know the other person's love language why wouldn't you use it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bohonia Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Absolutely yes! When you love someone and you know what their love language is it's a lot easier to love them in the way that speaks to their needs. As with you, in order to feel loved you needs words of affirmation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Under The Radar Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Yes, if you really care about someone you should make an effort to identify and express their primary love language within the relationship. The problem, as the book describes, is that many people tend to express love towards others in the way they wish to receive it. This can be problematic if their significant other does not share the same love language as them. Like you *I* feel loved and cared for through words of affirmation. My advice, which I've exercised in my own relationships, is to sit your partner down and explain how important words of affirmation are to you. Tell your boyfriend that you understand, value, and respect that his primary love language is physical touch, but that *you* feel most loved through thoughtful and kind words. Help him to see that speaking each others love languages will bring the best out of both of you ...... that it will only deepen your commitment and attraction to each other. With the exception of one girlfriend in my life, the conversation has always been well received ...... my partner wanted to speak my primary love language ...... because they loved me and wanted to meet my emotional needs. The relationship I mentioned where the woman was unable to comprehend that need ...... and made no effort to address it ...... required me to walk away. I do not believe a healthy relationship can thrive, let alone survive, if both individuals love languages aren't met, or are simply ignored. Don't be afraid to have the conversation with your boyfriend. I am sure he will be happy to learn that your love language is words of affirmation and strive to meet that very important need. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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