Will her new guy friend ruin our relationship? it's long distance

[marik]

I know in an ldr you need to hang out but this new Friend of hers makes me nervous. A little about us we have been together for four months (April) now but have been talking for exactly one year now. We were good friend's before getting together and gave each other advice on relationships we had with other people. She knows how heart broken I was from my last girlfriend and is aware of how I am when in a relationship which is loving and annoying. We already know too much about each other and we even went as far as telling our parents about us, not the distance but the love. We have a lot of plans for the future and know what we want to do. I'm 18 and a freshman in college and she's 17 and a junior in Highschool. I know her age and grade sound crazy but the way she talks and carries herself is of a mature woman. She doesn't put herself in stressful situations and I remember she once broke up with a guy because she knew it wasn't one that would benefit or last as a long term one. She was feeling alone at her new school shes going to she moved from Kansas to Texas last August but until about a month ago a new guy at her school approached her and long story short they're good friends now. I'm worried she might leave me for him because she said he's really sweet and does a lot of things like holds doors open and pulls chairs for her. I won't lie her attitude towards me has been changing and I've told her about it but she said she doesn't realize it. I also told her how it worries me that he does these things and she thinks I'm taking they're friendship out of proportion. We live 13hrs away and everytime we try to see each other it back fires mostly on my part but in a couple of weeks its for sure I'm seeing her. I asked her if she wants to continue our relationship and she said yes. Then I told her all I want is for her to be happy so if she feels like I'm holding her back let me know so we can end it, she still refused. She told me if she wanted to be single then she will but it's not me holding her back its the fact that she loves me and only wants me. I know the first step to losing someone is emotionally and the way she's acting makes it seem that way. It hurts knowing that theres some other guy making her smile and taking her out to places and complimenting her while I'm stuck here. She tells me they're just friends and that if he tries anything out of the friendzone she'll handle it. I trust her but I don't know if me being worried about losing her is the right thing to do.

Edited April 22, 2015 by marik

[d0nnivain]

Given your ages & life stages, yes, this new guy "friend" is somebody you need to keep an eye on. You went to school & left her at home. She misses you but may not be mature enough to handle the distance or draw distinctions between friends & potential BF. Are you coming home to take her to prom? You do have a chance to save things if you are coming home for summer but that may simply be delaying the inevitable

 

 

Don't freak out on her based on my cynicism. But do pay attention

[wizer]

When you're in an LDR there's always the possibility that you'll face competition from someone who is local. No way you can compete with that, love can only go so far.

 

You're annoying and loving when in a relationship? Stop being annoying, it won't help your situation.

[drallafi]

It's already over.

[AmbiguousWhore]

Assuming the situation hasn't soured since you made your post you need to meet with her in person. You need to pick your moment too. You don't want to plan too far ahead because otherwise the anticipation/excitement of your partner will dwindle a bit over time and it won't have as good an effect. However, not planning enough in advance could cause issues with scheduling. The best luck I've had is when i've spontaneously organised a trip when a partner has mentioned wanting to be with me and missing me, and these trips always ended with good memories and a happy partner. If you can't meet with her due to finances or some other reason your chances are lessoned. Love is not as strong and absolute as they say - it's just chemicals in the brain making you associate some feel-good with another person. Little things will make or break a relationship and physical contact in all its various forms fits into that category.

[Hawaii51]

He's already in further than you know.

[Hawaii51]

I'd recommend finding a woman/vagina with-in your hemisphere...something more manageable than 13 hours, like 30 minutes away. It just doesn't work, isn't fair to to anyone, and is wasting your time/energy... at your age.

[madjac74]

Your wall of text made me want to bang someone local

[justwhoiam]

So, how did it go? A couple of weeks went by...

[madjac74]

So, how did it go? A couple of weeks went by...

 

This is most likely the one and done poster. Probably in jail for eliminating the competition.