Ang014 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Noticed that my husband stop taking his lunch (started going out to lunch with this slut and one other co-worker which is a male but he does not always go to lunch), stop wearing his uniform said he can change into his uniform at work, txting and receiving phone calls. I questioned the txt and phone calls they don't even do the same type of work just work in the same area so why would she be calling and txting so much? We have been married for over 25. His co-worker is in a relationship with her two kids daddy and they live together. If he gets the chance with her I'm sure he will have sex with her. They are together at work 8 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Noticed that my husband stop taking his lunch (started going out to lunch with this slut and one other co-worker which is a male but he does not always go to lunch), stop wearing his uniform said he can change into his uniform at work, txting and receiving phone calls. I questioned the txt and phone calls they don't even do the same type of work just work in the same area so why would she be calling and txting so much? We have been married for over 25. His co-worker is in a relationship with her two kids daddy and they live together. If he gets the chance with her I'm sure he will have sex with her. They are together at work 8 hours. So how are things with your own relationship? Are you both happy? Generally, happy marriages aren't as likely to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 It certainly sounds like a workplace affair is already in progress. I would say it's time you found out the content of the texts/calls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Big red flag . The workplace is the new breeding ground for more affairs than anywhere else because men and women are spending more time at work sometimes than with their spouses. Workplace affairs are also the hardest to catch and the hardest to stop without one of the affair partners leaving the job. Now from the way it sounds you have two options (1) talk to your husband and tell him how uncomfortable you are with what appears to be going on. Now, if he right now does not know of your feelings he may just decide to be more careful and hide more from you if you are honest with him (2) you can snoop. My guess is if he is behaving like this that you do not have access to his electronic devices. If that is the case I would go to Best Buy and buy a VAR and put it in his car or truck. That is a voice activated recorder. If he is having an affair you can be sure he will talk to her in his car when you are not around . There is an old saying to "trust your gut". If your gut was not telling you something seemed fishy you would it have taken the time to seek out this forum. So I would do something to find out Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Noticed that my husband stop taking his lunch (started going out to lunch with this slut and one other co-worker which is a male but he does not always go to lunch), stop wearing his uniform said he can change into his uniform at work, txting and receiving phone calls. If he gets the chance with her I'm sure he will have sex with her. They are together at work 8 hours. Seems to me this is something that's happened before. I don't get much feeling or emotion out of your post at all. It's a very to.the.point. "yeah I notice all this behavior, I'm positive he'll have sex with her." Has he had an affair on you before? Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Seems to me this is something that's happened before. I don't get much feeling or emotion out of your post at all. It's a very to.the.point. "yeah I notice all this behavior, I'm positive he'll have sex with her." Has he had an affair on you before? She did call her a slut which made me . Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 any one can come up w/ excuse(s) in trying to make a discrete visit w/ one another .. and w/ the flirting part, its just another way in knowing someone. either as a friend, co worker, etc ... the question(s) here, is he in a happy marriage and is their trust in the relationship ( no matter if its good or bad ) ... ?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 If she's 25 and you and he have been married 23 years, then he's twice her age, so I wouldn't worry too much about her actually doing anything with him. I can tell you from nearly every office I've worked in that whoever the youngest prettiest girl there is has old men around her desk all day trying to chat her up and keeping her from doing her work. It's appalling and if they only knew how pathetic it looks. So I do not doubt that he is interacting with her and fantasizing about it, as all men do, but if I were you, I wouldn't lose sleep over it. That little girl isn't going to be interested in your old man! She can do better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Why would you call her a slut??? Does she or has she been known to sleep with other co-workers? IMO it's your husband that's starting to be the slut. He's the one that is married and is challenging his own boundaries. Speak up. If you don't communicate how you feel, what you see, and confront him about his behavior, you lose. This is all up to you to take action. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Hi "Ang014" - your post is not very clear with regard to any specifics. It does seem, however, that there is some kind of history between you and your husband. In any event, I am sorry and hope that the two of you have a strong enough relationship where you can talk openly about the situation. Talking seems much better than stewing and becoming more and more angry. Do you have a Pastor to talk to about this? How about a counselor or trusted friend? I truly hope that nothing is going on between your husband and this woman. My thoughts and prayers are with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 My husband was coming home later.Taking showers twice a day,buying gifts,and was defensive.We are divorcing and I know its over cheating he became a liar,angry jerk.Woman do not care if men are married and if they make good money all the better.Our marriage was not bad I was ill and he ran for it.I know of her but have not found out who she is yet. I suggest you start recording,or even get P.I if he is let him go because he will do it again.I hope not Hun because it is hell to go through but I rather be alone then be with what I was.Big Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Calm down. While you have every right to be upset, hitting him with both barrels of your anger isn't going to solve this. Talk to him politely. Tell him his new behaviors are making you uncomfortable & suspicious. Ask nicely to see the texts. Ask for reassurance. Suggest a long romantic weekend together & make sure he knows that you want to trust him. I'm not saying you shouldn't be suspicious but you catch more flies with honey then vinegar, if you get my drift. If there is nothing going on, your sweetness should get you an apology. full disclosure & behavior changes. If instead you get nonsense about lack of trust, him trying to turn this on you and other gas lighting BS, hire a private investigator & get your ducks in a row in anticipation of a divorce. I would also try to stop by his office unannounced for lunch one day if possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Emotional affair for sure. Perhaps they already went to physical as well, but I'm no fortune teller. Do you feel like being with a guy who betrays you? If not, you may seriously consider divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 The feeling I got from older guys always flirting with young women in the office is yes, they'd love to follow through on it, but what seemed to be driving it apart from sex is that it made them feel young if the young woman talked to them, like it validated they were not over the hill. Of course, the unfortunate young woman who is besieged with unwanted married old man attention in the offfice HAS to be nice to them and pretend to enjoy talking to them, pretty much. But some of them overlook that and prefer to think it's because of their youthful charm. Meanwhile, the girl is going home to her roommate complaining about all the old leches at the office who won't let her get her work done and stare at her too much. But I truly believe some of it is just them wanting to feel like they're still young. Not that that excuses it, but there is a psychological component. And OP, I know how you feel calling her a slut. It helps you vent. But the truth is she'd probably rather not have the attention and probably feels obligated to just go along with it and try to be nice and hope it doesn't get out of bounds. Why don't you plan to go take your man to lunch (or bring lunch) up at the office and make yourself visible and maybe it will at least shame him a little. Link to post Share on other sites
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