Reysa09 Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Ok quick run down: Me and my boyfriend are finally back together after 6 months of trust issues, other women, other men and other obstacles that led to our previous break up. We have had a long distance relationship for a year. Hes in NC, im in SC, but we manage to see eachother once every week or every two weeks. He's getting out of the military (after 12 long years) in a few weeks (hopefully) and hes coming back to SC until August, then he'll be relocating to Florida to attend school for 90 weeks. I must admit the love that we have for eachother is growing every day. He finally came out and told me that he may have a possible child (3 years old) in st louis. Some chick he use to mess with back when he lived in Georgia, told him last year that he had a child. She also admitted that she was seeing other men but i cant lie the little girl kind of looks like him. The timing is about right, he said he got drunk one night and had sex with her in FEB, the child was born in NOV. He said he's going to get a DNA test this summer. (By the way he has no kids). I know i sound selfish, but i wanted to have his first child. (I have a 7 year old daughter). I feel like things are going to change and I wont be able to have a child by him or get anything that i want because he is going to devote so much time into this new child of his. Im scared and stressed and in order to have a successful long distance relationship for two years, i cant feel this way. How should i handle the situation ? Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 when a man has a child with another woman and that child is young... they are very much still working on that relationship. i would not get with a man with a young baby. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Reysa09 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 how is that when she lives in st louis ? Link to post Share on other sites
Lunay Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 You sound selfish. It's not like he knew or expected this. It just is. If he has a child with this woman then either accept it or move on. He can't be the father of your first child, should he dump you because of that? If you truly love the guy, this would be a non-issue. You'd support him in any matter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 The timing is about right, he said he got drunk one night and had sex with her in FEB, the child was born in NOV. Was this during a time you were supposedly a couple ??? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Reysa09 Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 Was this during a time you were supposedly a couple ??? Mr. Lucky No it was 3 years ago Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 I feel like things are going to change and I wont be able to have a child by him or get anything that i want because he is going to devote so much time into this new child of his. Im scared and stressed and in order to have a successful long distance relationship for two years, i cant feel this way. How should i handle the situation ? If he's the dad, things will likely change, but maybe not by as much as you think, unless he's planning to move to St. Louis (Missouri?). Millions of women have relationships with men who have kids by other women, and vice-versa, and they make it work. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Well I'll be honest with you here, by the sounds of it, it is probably his. This means a lot of things. For starters, he does have a child with a woman. That's a starting point for a relationship. Now, it all depends on how devoted the two of you are with each other. But if you two stay together then you'll have to figure things out. He will either be a dad of a child he will never know or he will visit this child periodically and be part of her life. Either way, it still is a lot of stress. You either have nothing to do with the child but know in your heart there is a child you brought into this world that you have no control over, or you have a child you will barely see. Both are tough situations and you'll have to be there for him if you stay with him. This means you might be this girl's stepmother someday. He came clean with you, so that's a start. But if you stay with him this child just may be a part of your life too. Or, at the very least a big part of his pocketbook (child support). It can work, I mean, he isn't the father of your child and he's with you right? You have to do what makes you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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