cancer - girl - destiny

[whatsdestiny]

Well I will begin to say that I´m 24, never had a gf. Through my life I had 10 surguries.

Im a pretty decent guy, gentleman etc. I had in the last year 3 surgeries, radiotherapy and chemo (going on now).

 

People say i have a lot of courage, I do but sometimes i think that life is not just.

I never had a girl tell me she was attracted to me, One girl that I was attached too, she knew about the cancer and all and we were making plans, i thought that there was really someone for everybody, guess what, she went back for her ex ( I guess she couldnt take the pressure of me fighting cancer).

 

I keep fighting believing that days will get better, but everytime I go for exams I´m afraid of receiving another notice of " surgery"

 

Is there really any girl who will ever get w/ somebody that is fighting cancer?

 

Is life only pain?

 

Some of us come w/ destinies that we dont like or dont understand.

I do not understand why I´m going through this.....

[Moose]

Hello, first off, lemme apologize for not responding to you sooner. For some reason, your post says you wrote it at 3 in the afternoon my time.....but I didn't see it earlier.

 

Let me just say, that it's true there is someone for everyone. You can believe that. Secondly....I'm a firm believer that God has a purpose for everyone. Lastly......yes, life is full of pain, sadness, emptiness.

Some of us come w/ destinies that we dont like or dont understand.

I do not understand why I´m going through this.....

We all go through our trials. Some go through worse than others. Some people don't realize who's trials are worse than others. There is one thing that can come out of any trial though. And that's the knowledge of how to deal with, live through and conquer them.

[quankanne]

Is there really any girl who will ever get w/ somebody that is fighting cancer? Is life only pain?

 

I believe that for every person, there is someone who will love you so much that the fear of the future pales in comparison. You've just go to hang on to the belief that she's out there, and possibly think of your pain as a sort of gauntlet you are running through.

 

only you know what you are capable of facing, and only you can decide what the end-goal is going to be, regardless of that emotional pain you feel. You can also view it as, no matter how dark it is to you right now, somewhere, the sun is shining, and at some point, those rays will reach you.

 

I hope for the best for you, with the cancer therapy and with finding your mate, and you'll be in my thoughts, WD ...

 

quank

[Chris777]

Well I will begin to say that I´m 24, never had a gf.

 

I am almost 30 and I have only had 2 my ex wife , who for some reason decided she didn't like me anymore, and a girl I met online, who after deciding that we were too far apart to make things work, quickly filled the void, that I was supposed to have left, even though she told me she could never get over me.

 

Through my life I had 10 surguries. I led a pretty benign life untill I turned 25, and came down with cronic pain , Possibly fibromyalgia, and more recently possibly MS, but testing is still pretty inconclusive.

 

Im a pretty decent guy, gentleman etc. I had in the last year 3 surgeries, radiotherapy and chemo (going on now). This probably sounds crazy, but I sometimes envy people like you, where at least you know why, you are Ill. I have been searching for the past 5 years, and no one seems interested in finding the cause, and treating it, only at half way treating symptoms, and in my case it has caused me to get worse.

 

People say i have a lot of courage, I do but sometimes i think that life is not just.

I don't know how long you have had cancer, I assume from your post it is longer tha nI have been ill, but before I became sick I never really thought too much about death, and life, and the meaning of them. I didn't loose any close friends of family members till i was 18 ,and for lack of a better word I would say i was sheltered a bit.

I don't know what you believe personally about life, and death, and religion, personally It took me coming to terms with the possibility that I might be dying, for me to re examine my views of myself and the world.

I know it gets lonely sometimes, I have been overweight, self concious, and painfully shy my whole life, And I know this probably might sound bad, considering I have been married, but If I had it to do over again, I wish that I had not become involved with a girl who I couldnt trust to be faithful , and loyal, and who runs away from things. I am now walking with a cane, and can't really explain whats wrong with me, to most people, and most people are either clueless, or doubtful of me. But I currently can't see any woman, that Would be a good match for me ever being attracted to me, I have been divorced for 8 years now, been on 2 dates, and had an "online GF" but the women I met Including my ex, seemed to have more problems, tham both you or I do. A friend of mine has a brother In law that recently married this girl, and she is very attractive, but she is psycho, My friend says he thinks that the girl acts extremely similar to the way my ex treated me, and They fight all the time.

I know it gets lonely, but honestly sometimes I thinks its better to be single. Not to be downing women, but most of them are psycho lol. (and yes I know most guys are dogs ladies), but to hear so many women complain, and then when they get a decent guy turn their nose up at him. It was extremely hurtful to me that my ex wife dumped me for guys, that A) abandon her, B)abuse her, and even C) rape her, and yet I tried to treat her like a pricness, and that repulsed her.

Your better Off , Unless you find a classy girl.

 

I never had a girl tell me she was attracted to me, One girl that I was attached too, she knew about the cancer and all and we were making plans, i thought that there was really someone for everybody, guess what, she went back for her ex ( I guess she couldnt take the pressure of me fighting cancer).

Be glad You didn't become too close to her as it would have made it all the more painful. Be glad YOu didn't marry her, as she obviously was more concerned of herself, than anything else.

 

I keep fighting believing that days will get better, but everytime I go for exams I´m afraid of receiving another notice of " surgery" Don't doubt you are here for a reason, and don't doubt your cancer is a blessing, If I had never come down with this stuff I would still be blind to how short this life truely is. When I first came down with this I prayed tha ti would not die because I had a daughter to raise, and her mom, has apparently flew the coop, with no intention of ever returning. But I have to hepl my daughter, as her mother is totally out of the picture. BUt thats not the only reason I am still alive, I have some purpose, that God Will someday use me for.

And I feel like right now during this painful period of my life he is molding me, (and you ) as we speak.

 

Is there really any girl who will ever get w/ somebody that is fighting cancer?

I don't know, I might ask the same thing Of my situation, but remember Your value as a person Is not defined by some chick, so If you remain single So be it.

I know its hard and confusing, since you apparently have the same desire to be married, as i do, and it is especially puzzeling when you see so many sleazbags with women, that need to run away from them as fast as they can. But I dont know If you can see it, or not, but this whole world is basically corrupted, and even though many people appear appealing ans attractive on the surface , they are ravenous wolves on the inside.

 

Is life only pain?

If you were cured tomorrow of you cancer, would you remember it the next day, the next weel the next year, the next decade, Wile we are experiencing pain it seems to last forever, but once it is healed its easily forgetable.

 

Some of us come w/ destinies that we dont like or dont understand.

I do not understand why I´m going through this.....

 

paitence, it will become more clear over time, but their is a purpose to it, dont doubt that.

[Moose]

Champions aren't men who do not fail.......They are men who do not quit.

[Mz. Pixie]

So true Moose.

 

Let me say this as a woman.

 

Of course there are women out there who would love someone who has had cancer or illness.

 

I was molested growing up- my mother was mentally ill- she beat me and abused me mentally. So, I'm damaged goods according to most people.

 

But I'm not damaged goods to my Savior- and neither are you!

 

I'm not damaged goods to the man in my life who loves me!

 

Some people are who they are BECAUSE of what they have went through in life. I'm a total believer in this. If I had not been through what I've been through then my outlook on life may have been totally different. I may not have been as sensitive as I am to other people's pain.

 

For instance, my bf is a teacher and a coach. He's around alot of teenagers and they come around. I have been able to pick out issues in some of them that I had no idea they had, just because I'm especially sensitive to those things.

 

Even though I went through terrible pain in my past, I wouldn't take anything for any of that. Because it turned me into who I am. I have a man in my life who appreciates the woman I am, and I wouldn't be that unless I would have had that in my life earlier.

 

You too will find the person who appreciates the person that you are. She is out there and she will love you so much that none of that will matter. Just have faith that it can happen!

[suegail]

Someone I find inspiring is Joni Eareckson Tada and you might enjoy reading about her. She has been a quadriplegic and confined to a wheelchair since 1967, yet she's done so much in her life, she's given so much hope to so many. Her courage amazes me. She has also found a very good man who has stayed right by her side as her husband for many many years. She is a great Christian lady and has an amazing testimony.

[Mz. Pixie]

So true!! I read that book when I was young!

 

Look at Lance Armstrong- he had cancer and he has Sheryl Crow!

[whatsdestiny]

Thanks for the words guys.

[blondiexxx]

im so sorry your going thru that----what happens is that people dont know how to act around someone with cancer and also the "pain" of getting hurt if the person dies---its very hard to have to hold-----but im assuming that yr cancer is not that serious---let me ask you this ---would want to be involved with someone that had terminal cancer

thats tough ------i know for me it would very hard as i give with all my heart and i tend

to fall inlove easily it would take a very special person----but listen there will be a women who will enter yr life and the cancer wont matter----so cheer-up my friend ok

and pray prayer is very good----yr friend blondie

[Bethnde]

I too have come down with a very rare illness that attacks my body as cancer does. It's called porphyria. It has done a whole lot of damage to me, such as I lost my job and am now on disability, I have lost friends heck even family members (and husband), I've lost my normal body (since I now suffer from chronic pain everyday), pretty much broke, and etc. However it has also done me some real good, I was able to buy a house in a rush before I lost my job, where as I would have taken my time and then what? I have gotten a chance to see ppl in my life for who they really are. I'm now a sahm (stay at home mom), I don't party like I used to (back before the illness all I worried about was what my plans were for the w/e). While it's also made it hard to meet ppl, because I won't go to a bar, I'm in pain alot and therefore don't go out alot of the time, but it's made me a better a person for when I do find mr. Right. Why? Because those trival things don't matter any more in my life, what I mean is ppl can do a whole lot to me before I become angry, it's taught me to love and appreciate ppl for who they really are, I have a greater understanding for others sick (for instance back in the day, no I wouldn't have went out with another sick person, but today it wouldn't phase me one bit), and most importantly I've learned to love and cherish those who do right by me. My point in all of this is that, you will meet someone someday that won't care what you've been through or are going through, and the things your learning to deal with while being sick will only be applied to the relationship to make it a better one.