BeaverMan Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) On the recommendation of a friend my wife treated herself to a therapeutic /deep tissue massage (she mentioned 'Bowen' therapy) Upon arriving at the consulting rooms she was met by a male therapist who gave her 2 towels and a disposable thong, asked her to get undressed and left the room. When she made the booking she assumed that she would be treated by a female. Because the treatment came well recommended she decided, hesitantly, to go ahead. She described the treatment as thoroughly therapeutic and professional although he did spend time massaging her boobs, carefully avoiding her nipples. Did he overstep the mark with the boob massage? Edited April 24, 2015 by BeaverMan
frankiesaysrelax Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 I doubt it. It's also very possible he is gay.
CarrieT Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 Nope. Not over the line at all. I've actually had massage therapists do a LOT more...
Poppyolive Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 She has a right to request certain techniques to be avoided, if she wishes. There are a lot of "interesting" massage techniques. I've been lathered up and had a fantastic butt massage.
MissBee Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) On the recommendation of a friend my wife treated herself to a therapeutic /deep tissue massage (she mentioned 'Bowen' therapy) Upon arriving at the consulting rooms she was met by a male therapist who gave her 2 towels and a disposable thong, asked her to get undressed and left the room. When she made the booking she assumed that she would be treated by a female. Because the treatment came well recommended she decided, hesitantly, to go ahead. She described the treatment as thoroughly therapeutic and professional although he did spend time massaging her boobs, carefully avoiding her nipples. Did he overstep the mark with the boob massage? I've never had a boob massage personally, and I've gotten plenty of massages. However, when you go the first time you usually fill out a form asking you to check which areas you're comfortable with them working on. Usually the areas include glutes (butt), pecs (which for women is your chest/breast area) and a few others I can't recall, but those are the two touchy ones. I never check that I want them to work on my pecs/chest so they never do, but I say it's okay for them to work on my butt so they do. When they work on my butt they do it through the sheets in all my experiences, whereas for example with my back it's exposed. I don't know if your wife filled out that form and agreed to it or not, but I think it's not necessarily inappropriate but it's bad practice for them to do it without having an explicit waiver/agreement form where the client signs off on it instead of potentially being surprised that their butt or breasts are being massaged. In fact, it is darn weird they wouldn't as I imagine a business could get into so much trouble for this if they don't cover their asses and make sure clients give written consent. Except for when I got a fully clothed Chinese reflexology massage and bodywork, where the masseuse was a man and I had no choice, every other time in my regular ones where I undress I've had the opportunity to choose and I chose women. It's odd that they wouldn't give her a choice as in my experience they tend to ask your gender preference. Edited April 24, 2015 by MissBee I'
sandylee1 Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 I've had a lot of massages, but they've never touched my boobs or butt. I'm not sure if it's the bowens technique that allows that, or just that in the USA it's normal. I've never even had a female therapist do that. Though I'm across the pond.
autumnnight Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 i have heard of this, but it is not something I'd want. if it made her uncomfortable she can request it not be done. she can probably request a female therapist.
PegNosePete Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 I imagine a business could get into so much trouble for this if they don't cover their asses and make sure clients give written consent. I'm sure it's in the small print that she probably signed without even reading. It's odd that they wouldn't give her a choice as in my experience they tend to ask your gender preference. Well it depends on the size of the practice. If there's many therapists waiting around then sure they can give a choice. But if it's a self-employed one-man company then having a gender choice is simply not an option.
Syberia Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 She paid for a service and she received it. She then went home and told you what the guy did. It would only be a problem if she ended up banging him and did not tell you.
GorillaTheater Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 Reasonable minds could differ, but I absolutely would not be cool with my wife getting her boobs massaged by a man, and I likewise wouldn't be cool with my wife permitting it. 1
redtail Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 Nope. Not over the line at all. I've actually had massage therapists do a LOT more... I've not had a lot of massages, and they were all women. But they all kept their hands to "typical massage areas" of my body. Not even close enough to touch my junk inadvertently. Out of curiousity, what exactly is "a LOT more"? 1
Quiet Storm Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 I would not have been comfortable with that and would've stopped him. I also know my husband would not have been comfortable with that, and even if I didn't mind it myself, I would've stopped it out of respect for my husband. There's nothing you can do about it now, but I would encourage her to not be afraid to speak up. It seems like she was very passive even though she was uncomfortable with it. She is paying for a service, so she can ask questions, set boundaries and be assertive when boundaries are pushed. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 If your wife wasn't comfortable, it was her responsibility to 1). ask for a woman; 2). refuse to take off any clothes she wasn't comfortable removing and 3). tell him to not do that when he touched her boobs. Because she failed to do any of those things, no the therapist wasn't wrong. She needs to learn to stand up for herself but I don't think your marriage is in trouble since she is discussing this with you & expecting you to be her protector.
Mrin Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 Just asked a female friend of mine who consumes massages like some people consume water. She said that sort of massage is unusual but not unheard of. As others have said, it is up to the person receiving the massage to tell what he/she isn't comfortable with. So just chalk it up to inexperience and in the future suggest that you wife be more vocal about her comfort threshold.
Clockwork Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I don't know...........I mean is the guy a doctor? Was he performing a physical exam on her? To be quite honest my wife has a male doctor and obviously she gets physicals and we all know that includes breast exams which obviously include the nipples. The fact that it could save her from breast cancer is why she gets it done, not because she's comfortable with it. Other than that, no, I wouldn't really want a man massaging her boobs, even on the outside of the nipple. There are plenty of female masseuses who can do this and I'd prefer my wife had one of them.
Lion Heart Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 I would not have been comfortable with that and would've stopped him. I also know my husband would not have been comfortable with that, and even if I didn't mind it myself, I would've stopped it out of respect for my husband. There's nothing you can do about it now, but I would encourage her to not be afraid to speak up. It seems like she was very passive even though she was uncomfortable with it. She is paying for a service, so she can ask questions, set boundaries and be assertive when boundaries are pushed. Personally speaking I would have stopped that for my own self respect. But that's just me. I also wouldn't have a massage by a man because I'm me too. If the masseuse turned out to be a male, I just would have left. Without the massage. Unless you live in a 1 masseuse town, there are other options. I'm not comfortable with any other man seeing my naked body at all, let alone touching it. This is all merely my opinion for myself. Just adding to the above, I'd completely respect my Hs opinion on the matter too. Sure no other man owns me, but if the shoe was ever on the other foot, I would NOT like it all. So for me it's just a case of "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander". So OP, if you're fine with it then there's no problem. Lion Heart. 1
road Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 On the recommendation of a friend my wife treated herself to a therapeutic /deep tissue massage (she mentioned 'Bowen' therapy) Upon arriving at the consulting rooms she was met by a male therapist who gave her 2 towels and a disposable thong, asked her to get undressed I did an internet research on Bowen. Therapy named after the person that developed it. He massage his clients with their clothes on. 1
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