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I feel like a complete idiot that I did not notice these red flags

JoshCube

By JoshCube,
in Separation and Divorce

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JoshCube

JoshCube

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If you check all my other threads, you will see a story about how I hooked up with a woman that has bipolar and mental retardation. Bipolar is an illness with a side effect called "manic mode" that causes a person to be hyper sexual, and have sex with other people around them. Also, its pretty much impossible to tell if a bipolar person is cheating on you, because they don't ever show obvious body language, and it could take years to pick up on it. I've read several other bipolar stories where men were with women for tons of years, and it took them 7 or more years to pick up on what they were doing. People with this illness also always deny that they cheated, but I'm not sure why since I'm not a doctor.

 

Well, I am here today to tell you all that I feel like a complete idiot. This girl was my first girlfriend, so I had zero experience with how women think, and how they operate. She dragged me down to Florida, and had me sleep in a cabin while her and her step-father were having sex in the house while the mom was working 3rd shift. The step-father is in his early 60's, and she was 27 at the time (I'm the same age). I just feel like a complete idiot that I did not pick up on this the entire 3 months she had me sleeping in the cabin, because I could have pulled out of this relationship a lot sooner. I guess the reason why I did not pick up on this was because I put too much trust in her, and she had the "girl next door" type of look, meaning a person that would never cheat. Not only that, but it just didn't cross my mind she would sleep with an old man. When I was sleeping in the cabin, I did however have a conscious of her being alone in there at night, but I figured she would tell me if the guy pulled anything. She never did. This just really bothers me, because it makes me feel like my social skills are really terrible.

 

Not only that, but when we moved to the other state, she was taking plane trips to have sex with the step-father, and I did not pick up on this either. She went on 2 plane trips in 2013, and then 3 in 2014. When she came back on the third trip, she was very highly sexed, and was screaming out words like "I love you". Not only that, she couldn't keep straight eye contact. This was when I had a knot in my stomach, and ended up booting her out of the house. When I was lying next to her, I had a vision of her talking to her parents, and a bed moving back and forth. I felt this was a really bad sign.

 

I spoke to my sister who is a therapist with a Ph'D, and she said that she's not surprised that I did not notice these red flags, because my own mother did not notice them either (she was living with us at the time). She also said that bipolar people never show body language of cheating signs, because they take a mood stabilizer medication. I asked my sister if me being home schooled all my life and not having social skills is what caused me to not notice these signs, and she said no. She said these bipolar stories are very common, and the other spouse typically doesn't find out until years later.

 

So really, do you guys think its abnormal that I did not notice these signs? I guess me being inexperienced with women along with the woman having bipolar was a really bad combination, so I guess its not so bad. I just wish I would had picked up these red flags sooner, because she dragged out this infidelity for 3 years, and its causing us a divorce. I am in so much pain right now, and I am hoping she comes clean after I see her at the divorce hearing. All this time I thought she was my soul mate, and I guess I was wrong.

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