Shining One Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Let men who don't want to pick up tabs only date women who are happy to do so. In the same way, let men who love to pay only date women who want them to pay. Stop complaining, there are millions in each camp. Everyone is happy!While I agree with this sentiment, it's somewhat hard to work out in practice. It's not like women have a "My vagina has a price tag" disclaimer on their OLD profiles so we know to avoid those women. I admit that line was a bit crude, but it's the thought that comes to my mind whenever a woman says she requires money in order to feel sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
readynow Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Same as no man's OLD profile states 'I'm a cheapskate who'll be stingy throughout our relationship' but we still need to take our chances, don't we? To be honest, even I can spot a woman who is the typical 'I must split the bill, I don't need a man opening doors, giving me a hand or buying anything' type. Once you've dated either type often enough, you can usually tell. Just go for those and leave the others be. While I agree with this sentiment, it's somewhat hard to work out in practice. It's not like women have a "My vagina has a price tag" disclaimer on their OLD profiles so we know to avoid those women. I admit that line was a bit crude, but it's the thought that comes to my mind whenever a woman says she requires money in order to feel sexual attraction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 While I agree with this sentiment, it's somewhat hard to work out in practice. It's not like women have a "My vagina has a price tag" disclaimer on their OLD profiles so we know to avoid those women. I admit that line was a bit crude, but it's the thought that comes to my mind whenever a woman says she requires money in order to feel sexual attraction. Oh sheesh, if money created sexual attraction prostitutes would be attracted to clients. Newsflash: they aren't. Sexual attraction is different for many men and women. Women accept that men are attracted to physical form, feminine body shape and behavior. Why is it so difficult for men to accept what women are attracted to? Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 'I'm a cheapskate who'll be stingy throughout our relationship'The common cheapskate argument. If paying 50% is cheap, what is paying 0%? Oh sheesh, if money created sexual attraction prostitutes would be attracted to clients. Newsflash: they aren't. Sexual attraction is different for many men and women. Women accept that men are attracted to physical form, feminine body shape and behavior. Why is it so difficult for men to accept what women are attracted to?I never said that money creates sexual attraction. I merely called out that some women require money to feel sexual attraction. If money isn't spent on them, sex isn't happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Why is being a cheapskate such a bad thing? I don't have any debt, bills get paid as soon as they come, I don't give or spend money to people who take advantage and I am not living paycheck to paycheck. How is this a negative? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 The common cheapskate argument. If paying 50% is cheap, what is paying 0%? I never said that money creates sexual attraction. I merely called out that some women require money to feel sexual attraction. If money isn't spent on them, sex isn't happening. Because as a generous woman myself (with my money love and time spent with them) band a traditional woman (yes I prefer to cook and clean and will be taking a career setback by being the one to stay at home with child) AND for the fact as a woman, I damn well look after my appearance 100 times more than most men ( flawless skin due to twice weekly intensive at home facials, always trying new hair colours and cuts, working out daily when I often don't feel, like it in order to stay slim and attractive) I AM NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED to men who split the bills for minor things like weekends away and dinner dates when they can well afford to treat a woman. I cannot help it. Just like my boyfriend is not attracted to obese woman or blondes - and I am also not attracted to certain types. Generosity is a trait I admire and need in order to fall for a man. The second a self sufficient man can afford to treat a woman to a date yet CHOOSES to pay his own way only - I simply loose attraction and I realise he is not my type. I cannot fathom why people with money to spare, do not want to share their successes in life in a small way in the form of occasional dates ( I do not expect to be taken out more than say, once a fortnight or once a month, and to a cheap hole in the wall as opposed to fancy restaurants is my preference) By the way, when my BF is short of cash, I chip in and treat him to pizza and dinner all the time! But when he has the means, he prefers to treat me because he is generous. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Why is being a cheapskate such a bad thing? I don't have any debt, bills get paid as soon as they come, I don't give or spend money to people who take advantage and I am not living paycheck to paycheck. How is this a negative? If u have money to spare and do not live paycheck to pay check then what is the aversion to treating your woman to cheap and inexpensive dates once a fortnight ? Why split a meagre 50 dollar dinner at a small lesser known establishment, when you can well afford to treat the woman AND come out on top with savings in your bank ? What is to say that traditional woman who prefer the men to pay for dates and small things, are not generous women in their own rite? I know I am generous and I have always given a lot more than I got from men and friends throughout my entire life. Hardly a tight or entitled woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 If u have money to spare and do not live paycheck to pay check then what is the aversion to treating your woman to cheap and inexpensive dates once a fortnight ? Why split a meagre 50 dollar dinner at a small lesser known establishment, when you can well afford to treat the woman AND come out on top with savings in your bank ? What is to say that traditional woman who prefer the men to pay for dates and small things, are not generous women in their own rite? I know I am generous and I have always given a lot more than I got from men and friends throughout my entire life. Hardly a tight or entitled woman. I always treat her but she doesn't take advantage and she isn't a hypocrite about it. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 The common cheapskate argument. If paying 50% is cheap, what is paying 0%? I never said that money creates sexual attraction. I merely called out that some women require money to feel sexual attraction. If money isn't spent on them, sex isn't happening. Silliness. I have sex in an established relationship all the time without money. A new guy? Yeah, i need to see some investment to feel safe getting intimate, or even want to get intimate. Treating for dates is ONE way in the big picture he can do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 What is to say that traditional woman who prefer the men to pay for dates and small things, are not generous women in their own rite?Personal experience. As I mentioned earlier, I can count on one hand the number of "traditional" women who have cooked for me. No woman has ever cleaned my house or done my laundry.I know I am generous and I have always given a lot more than I got from men and friends throughout my entire life. Hardly a tight or entitled woman.Good for you. With the exception of one brief fling with a wealthy older woman, I have given far, far more than I have received from women. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Yeah, i need to see some investment to feel safe getting intimate, or even want to get intimate. Treating for dates is ONE way in the big picture he can do that.Out of curiosity, what are some of the other ways he can show investment? Are these all theoretical, or have any of them worked in practice? Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Out of curiosity, what are some of the other ways he can show investment? Are these all theoretical, or have any of them worked in practice? Basically, investing the time and focus, and showing interest in protecting and providing. Protective behavior is THE biggest aphrodisiac for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Just a check in to remind folks that moderation is still reviewing this thread and will continue to while it stays open. Let's knock off the comparisons of escorts and prostitutes on this topic, any future posts indicating such will be redacted with points (including rebuttals). Thank you, ~ V Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Basically, investing the time and focus, and showing interest in protecting and providing. Protective behavior is THE biggest aphrodisiac for me.Fair enough. I can understand this and, to an extent, the desire to see a financial investment as well. What I don't understand is the absolute refusal of some women to reciprocate. After all, you want to see some investment from him. He would like to see some investment too. Her paying for dates is one option that doesn't require any specific skills (such as cooking) on her part. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseb Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 The common cheapskate argument. If paying 50% is cheap, what is paying 0%? . This is what always cracks me up about the cheapskate argument. The ones who want to pay NEVER call someone who would like to take turns cheap?! Where is the logic in that? I really can't see how anyone can argue against taking turns without resorting to outdated or sexist reasons. If one party wants to treat the other, let their date be at the fancy resturant they want to try. If one party feels a bit broke, maybe take the other to the nice cheap and cheerful regular. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Fair enough. I can understand this and, to an extent, the desire to see a financial investment as well. What I don't understand is the absolute refusal of some women to reciprocate. After all, you want to see some investment from him. He would like to see some investment too. Her paying for dates is one option that doesn't require any specific skills (such as cooking) on her part. Sure, but there is more risk for the woman. That's just a fact. And it is so masculine when he's willing to take on that small amt of risk because I'm worth it. (relevant fact: I've never dated strangers. These guys knew me from the crowd.) Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 The big irony is that when women don't act entitled to it many men naturally want to display chivalry and invest in a woman. The best way to get that from a man is to inspire it and when that happens it is even better because you know it is sincere. I don't see how there is any joy when a man does something because he is browbeaten or shamed into it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 The big irony is that when women don't act entitled to it many men naturally want to display chivalry and invest in a woman. That has been my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 That has been my experience. Exactly. Men display these traits when they are inspired in us. Maybe we should be asking why so many men these days don't feel inspired to display these traits. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 And it is so masculine when he's willing to take on that small amt of risk because I'm worth it.Personally, I've found it unhealthy to base my self-worth on what others are willing to do for me. If I did, I would value myself incredibly low because I have given far more than I've received. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Personally, I've found it unhealthy to base my self-worth on what others are willing to do for me. If I did, I would value myself incredibly low because I have given far more than I've received. Knowing my own value isn't the question. It's about finding out if the man values me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Exactly. Men display these traits when they are inspired in us. Maybe we should be asking why so many men these days don't feel inspired to display these traits. I do wonder that. I think it's because they are dating virtual strangers on OLD. My 9 year old son already as the drive to protect and provide for the girls he likes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 The big irony is that when women don't act entitled to it many men naturally want to display chivalry and invest in a woman. The best way to get that from a man is to inspire it and when that happens it is even better because you know it is sincere. I don't see how there is any joy when a man does something because he is browbeaten or shamed into it.Exactly. Men display these traits when they are inspired in us. Maybe we should be asking why so many men these days don't feel inspired to display these traits.I agree. I have no problem being generous and investing in a woman after she has proven herself worthy (by not acting entitled) and she has confirmed romantic/sexual interest in me. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 My 9 year old son already as the drive to protect and provide for the girls he likes Let's see how he feels after he spends a few grand on women who aren't interested in him sexually/romantically. Link to post Share on other sites
Aniela Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I agree. I have no problem being generous and investing in a woman after she has proven herself worthy (by not acting entitled) and she has confirmed romantic/sexual interest in me. I think this works the same way for women. Don't act entitled to anything, and interest usually increases. Link to post Share on other sites
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