Shining One Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 I never felt ripped off for a first date only. I did feel ripped off when we were several to many dates in (all at my expense) when she dropped the "not interested" or "let's be friends" lines. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 I never felt ripped off for a first date only. I did feel ripped off when we were several to many dates in (all at my expense) when she dropped the "not interested" or "let's be friends" lines. "But very interested in eating for free" This is why I always go for the kiss on the first date. It's the bee line to tell if they are interested in you or not. Even if she doesn't let you you can often tell if she is interested by her reaction. I'm consistently shocked by how many women are open to it despite not giving any "green lights". Like seriously shocked. If there is no kiss on the second date, there will not be a third for me. The investment has proven poor and I will waste no more time or money. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 i'm the man so I pay for dates 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowbird7 Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 Call me old-fashioned, but I'd feel weird paying for a date. To me, it's not being selfish, I wouldn't have a problem paying sometimes, it's just that I prefer letting the man take the lead. My experience has been that most guys prefer being 'in charge' of the date, and I feel like offering to pay would make them feel a bit inadequate and less 'manly'. And if they ever asked me to pay I wouldn't mind and would probably do it, but I admit it would be a bit of a turn off for me. So yeah, since I like the more masculine type of guy, I do expect them to pay for the date. Sorry, guys... Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 guys cant win Let's woman pay = cheap jerk Pay his half = cheap Doesn't let woman pay = disrespectful of a woman's independence Only looks at woman= creep Approaches/pursues woman = pervert Does nothing = wuss 5 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 guys cant win Let's woman pay = cheap jerk Pay his half = cheap Doesn't let woman pay = disrespectful of a woman's independence Only looks at woman= creep Approaches/pursues woman = pervert Does nothing = wuss hahaha so true Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 guys cant win Let's woman pay = cheap jerk Pay his half = cheap Doesn't let woman pay = disrespectful of a woman's independence Only looks at woman= creep Approaches/pursues woman = pervert Does nothing = wuss This is why guys should stop trying to win. The ones who hate men will hate us no matter what. Just do what you want and be what you want and people can take it or leave it. It is so much easier when you stop trying to reach these ever moving goal posts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseb Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 Had to post this, because I've been there. And it made me laugh. Haha indeed! Love peep show! Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 I've been out of the dating game for a while, and it seems some things change and some stay the same. One issue I am dealing with now is going out. I am more of a person who likes to stay home and cook, but I have no issues with going out once an awhile. This woman I am seeing makes around 96k a year and I make a bit more. Nonetheless, she doesn't feel it should be 50/50 or where we switch off on paying for dinners. At home, I do not mind. However, restaurants around here are a pretty penny. One can easily pay 50 bucks + for a dinner date at a low end restaurant. She also wants to go on vacation, but we've not discussed the finances or what. We just spoke about a place on the phone a few minutes ago, and I said, I believe that you stated you'd take me there (jokingly. I really don't care for the place), she said I should take her there. I said, maybe some day. It's expensive. She said, she's old school and feels the man should pay for most things. She started getting very agitated when I said things should be split equally. She said this doesn't sit well with her and will be very frustrating. She does still live with her parents (seems to be common around here), but is in the process of saving to move out. Ironically, I said just a few days ago, if I was living in a cheap apt. driving a beater car, you'd prob. not give me the time of day. She replied, I care about a person's heart, kindness and like goals, not money. Well, the conversation above seems to differ to what she said. I am debating about on how to proceed, as I cannot be in a relationship where I pay for everything. It seems that is what she's looking for in a man. She said something where the woman should offer, but the man should often pickup the tab. We've not really gone on only a few dates, most have been at home where we watch a movie and cook. Thus, is why I am hearing about this now. When we did go out, she did pay for some things, but no where near half. That's okay, however, I cannot be expected to pay for everything or near everything. Seems more like this would be akin to paying for her time and company. Am I looking at things wrongly? She's in her late 30's. A bit perplexed here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 there is something very weird going on when a chick makes $100,000 per year and still lives with her parents. you better do some snooping 5 Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 I actually went to break down her free cash flow. She has the money to afford an apt., however, she wants to live in a certain area, which, she could still technically afford, however, it would be very tight. She also lives in the metro NYC suburbs, and rent for a place where she wants to live is around 2200 + utilities and cable = around 2500. Her net take home is 4800.00. She also has 20000 in student loans, 5000 in some CC debt, insurance at 100 a month, cell at 125 a month, lease at 425 a month, metro card at 320 a month, NYC subway at 100 a month. Amazes me on how much money goes away. I found her a nice place at 1600 a month, but she didn't like the area. I found it weird too that she lived at home at 37, but the last couple before her also lived at home. Not sure if that is something standard in this area. I've been on my own since 18, so I cannot relate. However, she does have campaign taste with beer pockets. Again, this is the norm. I was impressed the on the first two dates though. First one, she paid for the drinks, I paid for the dinner. Second one, she paid for the lunch and I paid for the painting class. However, today's conversation and the way she was agitated bothered me a bit. Seems like many women around here expect the man to pay for everything once things get going. Link to post Share on other sites
lovephule Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Howe long have you been seeing each other? Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Do you mind my asking how old you both are? You sound older than her. IF there is a big age gap, you have to accept that there is a price for dating a young, very pretty girl. There is no such thing as a free lunch. IF you are a similar age, AND are both young, you should be going dutch. I'm in my 50s and it has been standard for at least 25 years for couples to split the cost of dates. Either you go half each, or take turns paying. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 This is an usual situation. While I've encountered plenty of women who expected me to pay for most or all of the dating expenses, none of them contributed or even offered to contribute on early dates. She has already said that equally shared expenses will be a problem for her. I wouldn't expect her to change her mind about this, so it's probably best that you move on. Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Howe long have you been seeing each other? About six weeks Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 Do you mind my asking how old you both are? You sound older than her. IF there is a big age gap, you have to accept that there is a price for dating a young, very pretty girl. There is no such thing as a free lunch. IF you are a similar age, AND are both young, you should be going dutch. I'm in my 50s and it has been standard for at least 25 years for couples to split the cost of dates. Either you go half each, or take turns paying. About the same age, late 30's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author joseb Posted November 25, 2017 Author Share Posted November 25, 2017 It seems very odd that you know her exact pay, take home, debt, etc. How did that all come up? Also why are you finding her places to live? And how long are you two going out? Anyway, it sounds like she is hiding behind the "I'm traditional" banner so she doesn't have to pay for anything on dates, so she has more for her house (or her credit card expenses) so if this isn't something you like, I suggest you part ways. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 It seems very odd that you know her exact pay, take home, debt, etc. How did that all come up? Also why are you finding her places to live? And how long are you two going out? Anyway, it sounds like she is hiding behind the "I'm traditional" banner so she doesn't have to pay for anything on dates, so she has more for her house (or her credit card expenses) so if this isn't something you like, I suggest you part ways. She offered the info up, never asked. Again, she asked me to help her look. When we did go out on dates, as stated prior, she did pay for drinks and lunch. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 I think there are other things working here rather than who does/doesn't pay for things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 She's in her late 30's and living with parents????? AND can't afford to live alone? I guess it depends on your priorities. If she's hot and you value that more than other qualities, go for it. If you want an equal relationship, she's not the one for you. Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 I think there are other things working here rather than who does/doesn't pay for things. Such as??? Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 She's in her late 30's and living with parents????? AND can't afford to live alone? I guess it depends on your priorities. If she's hot and you value that more than other qualities, go for it. If you want an equal relationship, she's not the one for you. Would like an equal relationship. That's always my goal. She's good looking, but that is not the main quality I look for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 She said, she's old school and feels the man should pay for most things. She started getting very agitated when I said things should be split equally. She said this doesn't sit well with her and will be very frustrating. She does still live with her parents I am debating about on how to proceed, as I cannot be in a relationship where I pay for everything. It seems that is what she's looking for in a man. Am I looking at things wrongly? Nope, you aren't looking at it wrong. You've got an entitled princess on your hands, one who tries to dance both sides of the philosophical argument as it suits her. There really is no way to support that mentality. Saying she's old school is not a trump card. And that one about, the woman should offer but the man should pay is nothing less than absurd. I wonder how agitated she'd be if you said it's right that women are paid .70 on the dollar, by virtue of weaker, less intelligent, and less reliable. I commend you for telling her how you view it and not just sucking it up for access to vagina. You know this is going to be unresolvable, don't you? People with this mentality are not affected by reason in the least. I think you should pull the trigger, avoid being the dumpee, and get on with finding a woman who has actually looked up the word "equality" in the dictionary. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lovephule Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 It seems very odd that you know her exact pay, take home, debt, etc. How did that all come up? This struck me, too. Wondering if OP made a comparable disclosure and if so, whether it was before or after. But yeah, I see incompatibility here. Proceed at your own risk, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
jimbo Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 This struck me, too. Wondering if OP made a comparable disclosure and if so, whether it was before or after. But yeah, I see incompatibility here. Proceed at your own risk, OP. No, I didn't volunteer any personal financial information. Link to post Share on other sites
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