Just some thoughts: I feel no indifference to any past loves

[Cinnamonstix]

All of the bf's that I loved and became attached to, I can't say I feel indifferent towards. I have definitely convinced myself that I am at times. When I am with someone else that I am so into/love/know I can fall for, I feel pretty indifferent. But then again my focus is always on the person I'm with. The moment I am single and not caught up in a loving relationship, I don't feel very indifferent towards any of my exes. It's weird how that happens. When someone breaks my heart, my past bf's start to look pretty good.

 

This week I read some old emails from former loves. There's an explanation for this other than to torture myself, I promise you. Anyway, I still feel something for all of them. Maybe it's just because I'm alone now, I don't know. But reading how in love we were and how much fun we had really takes me back. So I guess I don't know if indifference is really the answer for having healed and moved on or not, or if it's just acceptance? There will always be a place in my heart for the bigger loves in my life. And I'll always feel a little bit jealous of their gf's in a way. Maybe because I imagine that they got the better, more grown up version of my exes.

 

I'm just rambling at this point. You know maybe I'm in denial. Maybe I actually never properly healed from ANY OF THEM.

[erklat]

. When someone breaks my heart, my past bf's start to look pretty good.

 

You nailed it right here. 99% when exes after years apart start poking

around is when hard times come and they don't like the taste of their

medicine.

[mightycpa]

You nailed it right here. 99% when exes after years apart start poking

around is when hard times come and they don't like the taste of their

medicine.

the grass is always greener? I don't think that's true. So many people, so little time.

[Cinnamonstix]

It's not a GIGs thing at all. Every bf I've had has been a step up from the last in a way. I made sure that the next bf would have what was missing with the last guy, plus everything else I've learned I want and need in a partner from my other RSs. I can't have a new relationship that is worse than the last one. I always need to move onto someone that is more compatible, that I could potentially feel stronger about and have a healthier RS with.

 

The bar is continuously raised, and it makes it that much harder to find someone new.

[Itspointless]

All of the bf's that I loved and became attached to, I can't say I feel indifferent towards. I have definitely convinced myself that I am at times. When I am with someone else that I am so into/love/know I can fall for, I feel pretty indifferent. But then again my focus is always on the person I'm with. The moment I am single and not caught up in a loving relationship, I don't feel very indifferent towards any of my exes. It's weird how that happens. When someone breaks my heart, my past bf's start to look pretty good.

 

This week I read some old emails from former loves. There's an explanation for this other than to torture myself, I promise you. Anyway, I still feel something for all of them. Maybe it's just because I'm alone now, I don't know. But reading how in love we were and how much fun we had really takes me back. So I guess I don't know if indifference is really the answer for having healed and moved on or not, or if it's just acceptance? There will always be a place in my heart for the bigger loves in my life. And I'll always feel a little bit jealous of their gf's in a way. Maybe because I imagine that they got the better, more grown up version of my exes.

 

I'm just rambling at this point. You know maybe I'm in denial. Maybe I actually never properly healed from ANY OF THEM.

I have no romantic feelings anymore for my first girlfriend in the beginning of this millennium. But I still think back with a smile to what we had and sometimes I miss that very particular bond we had going on together.

 

The past is within us and due to that some people have special places within us. People often confuse what they had with how it ended. Honour your past, live now and look forward to the future.