Hehe you were all right

[shvrk]

Um the thing is, I really do think I'm more attractive than the average woman. Not model material but yeh, I sort of can get more attention than the average girl. I would know, I have girlfriends who don't receive the amount of male attention I do.

 

I happen to date only men who think I'm gorgeous instantly. There's nothing wrong with that. I prefer a loved up, heady and romantic lusty early phase. Nothing wrong with that.

 

And thus current man isnt better pick than the last men because I'm making strides in picking better men......

 

I am genuinly smitten with his personality and relish in our lovey dovey esque cannot kttpnput hands to ourselves type of chemistry..

 

I am taking it very slow though.

 

By the way if I had low self esteem I would be the type to go for men who aren't into me. Instead, I only pursue men who act smitten and enamoured..

 

Yes men change their minds. But if a guy checks out of the relationship or stops being into me I... Come and mak a thread. I mentally checked out of the last guy.... I wanted to be selfless thought and stick by him plus the sex was great so u thoughht why not. I was not at all shocked when it ended.

 

But yeah, I view myself as a woman who can go hold out for the men who think I'm a beautiful girl inside and out.

 

I'm not the type who will waste much time with men who are clearly not that into me.

 

Leigh if you're meeting these men online it's not uncommon for them to be upfront and call you gorgeous in the messages straight away... especially if tons are doing it... and I know I had a crazy confidence boost when I was feeling down on myself and I had men left and right messaging me and asking me on to dates. Yes, you are pretty. But if these guys are all talking to you from the internet it's kind of regular. Also the comment about being more attractive then the average girl is a little... Don't think like that! It's fine to feel you're pretty but like someone else in the thread said you come off as if you are superior to others! That's such a bad attitude to have and honestly it's unattractive...

 

I think you'll be happier if you just stopped thinking about your looks and find a guy that does like you for you... I mean personality goes far. I'd be far more flattered if a guy commented on my profile about something I wrote or how I presented my self rather than "You're so hot! I'm smitten! "

[todreaminblue]

Hey Leigh,

 

I am sorry your relationship with this man didnt work out like you wanted it too.......

 

 

i am going to repeat what i said to someone else on another forum....sometimes its not meant to work for whatever reason....when you get involved in a relationship with unresolved issues or past hurts you havent really dealt with ...chances are you will hurt someone...hurt people hurt people.....when you have bitterness that sits in your heart towards men for example it takes up place where love and understanding can fit...it also sounds like this guy has that happening a bit of residual hurt that hasnt been dealt with......put it down to wrong timing for the both of you and dont lose your heart over it............the right guy will come at the right time......and normally that time is when you are really ready and open to love..that has to be both parties....ready and open..it will happen for you..i wish you well as always leigh....deb

Edited April 29, 2015 by todreaminblue

[Leigh 87]

I hadn't realized you were previously focused on looks, because you kept saying you went for average looking guys who other girls didn't want.

 

But yes, it's great to get to know a guy!

 

 

 

Even this...too much. Too invested. You shouldn't even be having conversations like this on a first date. You just met him and had one date. You've barely scratched the surface of who he is. Anyone can seem too good to be true after one date.

 

Just keep it slow, slow, slow.

 

And again, I can't understand why you are with another guy who has kids when you've repeatedly said you don't want kids. At your age it shouldn't be too hard to find men who don't already have children.

 

 

 

I don't necessarily want my own biological.

 

But I love children. I volunteer with school aged children. I just don't like screaming toddlers. Which this guy doesn't have.

 

I am just not yet sold in the idea of having my own child biologically. Not averse to it either.

 

And he has not gone over the top trust me. He simply exclaimed once ....ONCE.. that " hmmm going by what the other online girls were like, this seems a bit too good to be true hey lol..."

 

He said it in a teasing way..is is def not into insta relationships!

[Leigh 87]

Leigh if you're meeting these men online it's not uncommon for them to be upfront and call you gorgeous in the messages straight away... especially if tons are doing it... and I know I had a crazy confidence boost when I was feeling down on myself and I had men left and right messaging me and asking me on to dates. Yes, you are pretty. But if these guys are all talking to you from the internet it's kind of regular. Also the comment about being more attractive then the average girl is a little... Don't think like that! It's fine to feel you're pretty but like someone else in the thread said you come off as if you are superior to others! That's such a bad attitude to have and honestly it's unattractive...

 

I think you'll be happier if you just stopped thinking about your looks and find a guy that does like you for you... I mean personality goes far. I'd be far more flattered if a guy commented on my profile about something I wrote or how I presented my self rather than "You're so hot! I'm smitten! "

 

In real life I get treated like an attractive woman.

 

By both men and woman of all ages.

 

And I am going to land a guy who not only thinks I'm physically gorgeous, but who falls for my personality and heart too.

[Leigh 87]

I really don't think there's an issue with honestly. I know I am NOT everyone's cup of tea look wise.

 

But yeah, I was paid many thousands of dollars for underwear modelling up until early 20s. And my body hasn't changed much since then.

 

Plain janes with average bodies and faces don't get paid 3000 for a day's work just for posing and sipping water and smoking all day.

 

I have NEVER said I am the prettiest woman in the room I AM NOT!

 

But I am treated by society as though I am more attractive than the average plain Jane.

 

Which means I CAN hold out for a man who not only thinks wow she's gorgeous at first site, but who also gets to know leigh the person and falls for my work ethic with college and my willingness to help those in need in my cohort, my volunteer work and my fun and quirky nature.

 

Also a man who wants me for more than my body and sexual prowess.

 

People say " well who cares if a guy thinks you're nothing special at first and isn't exactly super excited and skitten with u. Who cares if he has to grow to fall for you very slowly "

 

Well I CARE. I prefer the heady, intense chemistry based attractions. And while I am NOT the hottest girl around, I am still well attractive enough to get that killer combo of heady firework based chenistry that causes both me and the bug to both fall HARD, and I can also find it with a good kind hearted man.

 

My point regarding my looks served to highlight that no, I wasn't the average chick my ex just got together with. He was actually EXTREMELY attracted to me more so than he was with just any other chick. Hence why he thought he was into me at first!!

 

And furthermore, I CAN find that lusty sizzling chemistry because I do actually have the looks to do it. As opposed to the slow burn where the guy doesn't fall for me fast at all, and has to spend time getting to know me before he lists after me........

 

Geez I am DEFF not the hottest among my mates or anything. I am simply attractive enough for a good deal of men to think I'm gorgeous.

 

It is my personality and kind heart that ALL my men have also complimented.

 

Jerks and players like kind girls too lol.

[Leigh 87]

Anyway off for a date with current.

 

 

NO dates at each other's places.

 

 

We have not even heavily made out yet. The emphasis is def on getting to know one another.

 

So far, his kindness and the fact he seems very decent and honourable is the thing that most draws me too him.

 

He just so happens to be cute.

 

He is separated after 17 years as of two years ago and he hasn't managed to find someone special since:love:

 

I hope I can snap up a decent loving loyal guy before some other woman does and I'm just left with the scraps bottom of the barrel types

[Conners]

I'm sure your date will be awesome! Hopefully he tells you how hot you are compared to any other girl he's dated and bask in your awesomeness.

[Conners]

 

And he has not gone over the top trust me. He simply exclaimed once ....ONCE.. that " hmmm going by what the other online girls were like, this seems a bit too good to be true hey lol..."

 

 

This right here. This highlights the importance of not putting someone up on a pedestal before getting to know them properly. I wonder if this guy would be singing the same tune if he saw your posts from love shack from this year alone? A girl who's onto her fourth relationship this year who had sex with her neighbour who had a girlfriend on the way to meet the previous boyfriend.

 

Too good to be true.

[lana-banana]

Leigh, you go through men faster than I go through whiskey. When most couples are still in the getting-to-know-you phase you've already dumped him and moved on to the next. How would you know if you've found a decent guy or not?

 

The only thing crazier than your breakneck pace is the unchanging nature of the cycle. Every single man you meet is different from all the rest, the one you can truly commit to, the one to tame your wild ways. Two weeks later (if that) it's over and you aren't upset because you're with someone else. Now you're 28 and about to go out with someone who was married for seventeen years? I have no idea what you're doing but I guarantee you it will not lead to a "decent, loving guy".

[ExpatInItaly]

The only people who need to tell everyone how wonderful and beautiful they are are those who are afraid that nobody will believe it unless they announce it. This therefore masks inner beauty because conceit is never a turn-on.

[Leigh 87]

Why is the fact he was in a 17 year relationship indicative that he isnt a decent guy?

 

We barely know one another. He'll probably fade or dissapear.

 

It's not like anything real will probably happen.

[Kamille]

But I am treated by society as though I am more attractive than the average plain Jane.

 

Which means I CAN hold out for a man who not only thinks wow she's gorgeous at first site, but who also gets to know leigh the person and falls for my work ethic with college and my willingness to help those in need in my cohort, my volunteer work and my fun and quirky nature.

 

Even plain Janes can hold out for men who fall in love with who they are.

 

You seem to imagine only hot people can know hot passionate lusty romance and that the rest of us are merely settling for subpar romances. That's not the case. And that's the beauty of getting to know someone and falling for who they are. It's an attraction much stronger than one that is based on looks.

 

 

I am genuinly smitten with his personality and relish in our lovey dovey esque cannot kttpnput hands to ourselves type of chemistry..

 

Too soon to be smitten. You've only been on two dates with the guy. You can be interested and intrigued. You can like him and hope you'll see each other again. But smitten? Give that at least a month.

[Kamille]

Why is the fact he was in a 17 year relationship indicative that he isnt a decent guy?

 

 

It likely means he's much older than you.

[Robert]

I trust after 161 posts that the thread starter has gotten what they needed from this thread, closed to stop the bickering.