Worried about some little things, but big for me.

[EveryRoseHasItsThorn]

Hello,

 

This may sound stupid, but I'm feeling bad about it. I'm feeling like a bad ''girlfriend''. We (my SO) and I have been in touch for 2 years now. And everything is really going great. We haven't met yet. I'm still studying, next to my job. So that's really busy. The plan is to graduate next year january/february. I want to visit my SO after that..

 

And here's my problem:

We're talking about meeting up alot.. And he told his parents about me and his mom is really supportive. Now he mentioned that time is really going fast and we should start the planning in a few months for a trip. The point is I didn't tell my parents about him yet. He is aware of it. He doesn't make a problem out of it and is willing to wait for it untill I feel ready. He gave me advice and all, but I know my parents too well. I'm 23, still living at home. So I'm grown up, can go where I want and all. But my parents are kinda overprotective with these things. I'm afraid to tell them and what I should say exactly. It's not fair towards my SO and I feel guilty about it. I sent him a package a few months ago.. and he wanted to send me one too. But I told him not to, because of the same issue.

I'm just really stressed when I think about telling my parents.

I've been thinking about telling them I want to visit Australia, but not mentioning him in this plan is just really bad.

 

How did you tell your parents? Did they approve? Are they supportive?

[preraph]

You need to get independent and move out from your parents. At 23, you shouldn't be having to consult them on dating. As long as you live in your parents' house being dependent on them, they get to set the rules. But becoming an adult, the norm is to start pulling away from your parents in your late teens to be independent. You really are not fit to try to choose at least a long-term partner until you are a mature woman yourself who knows how to take care of herself and doesn't have the constant influence of your parents. Concentrate on making enough money to move out and worry about trips about a year after that. You'll be surprised how different you will become in that year's time. You will find yourself.

[d0nnivain]

Start by telling your parents that you are saving to travel to his location after graduation. Don't mention him just yet. Let the travel part sink in.

 

Then gradually mention you have been communicating with a man. Do not call him your BF. Do not tell them you love him. They will freak out because for all the electronic exchanges you may have had, he's a stranger because you have not met.

 

You also need to have a plan for this meet & a safe space in case things do not work out. You should NOT stay with him & you need to know where your sexual boundaries are before you arrive because if things go well, hormones may take over