DatingDirection Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 How did you get to be a mother? How did you get to be a father? You got the title for making a baby...but your actions follow through? People, often say, it's my mom, I only have one, but I think people should realise, it's their children...they made them, to love and care for, and guide. Parents have to show kids the way, and parents also have responsibilities too, and solely b/c they are...PARENTS. So please, whoever reads this, stop telling children to be so nice to their parents, b/c we only have 1 mom and 1 dad, when those same parents are mean to their kids. Trust me, I see it all the time, there are lots of dumb people out there, who don't know how to speak to their child or show their child love. So what if we have a special day for mom and dad, we should have a special day for kids, after all they're the one's who made you mom and dad. Maybe, kids would have more respect then too, and the world would care more about humanity in general, if we recognise how important children are, and stop glorifying how wonderful it is be a mom on mother's day or how wonderful it is to be a dad on father's day. Just b/c you have the title of Mom or Dad, doesn't mean you actually deserve to have a day. So this coming mother's day, ask yourself, do I deserve this, and share that day with your Kid, after all, you wouldn't have a mother's day without having that child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Look, I can't recall if/when I've said "Happy's Father's Day" to my dad...I mean, the guy was an abusive dictator who ruled with an iron fist...Even at his old age, he still never said apologies and/or tried to make amends. Worst, IMO, he still was only worried about "numero uno" rather than anyone else. You know, he died a few days after his birthday. Believe it or not, I recall one of my relatives saying they had bought him a cake and I rolled my eyes and was like "whatever". Well, then he died a few days later. I had no idea he was sick. Part of me feels bad that - just like my dead sister - I was not speaking to him/her just before they died. Part of me wishes that out of "compassion" I would have just picked up the phone and told him "Happy Birthday". Sad, how at the last minute we realize how f-d up we handled things. Relatives told me that before he died, he was going on about how he wish he spent more time with us instead of just trying to make money (ok, whatever). I think that's why he also appeared as a ghost recently, cuz he is still feeling bad about not being there for us. I get where you're coming from...It's hard to have feelings to pick up the phone and/or send a card to someone who definitely was "Not" a parent. But, with my mum, I've learned compassion....Yes, "compassion". With Mum's day coming up in the U.S. (no, not the UK and/or Hispanic one that some of my family members honor on top of the U.S. one) I will, again, buy her flowers, a ballon, card, and probably take her out for a meal. I feel shyttty about it cuz I'm not feeling it. I don't think she was a good mother. I think she was a very selfish person and sacrificed us to see/be exposed to physical and mental abuse so that she could keep one side of her bed (temporarily) warm. So yeah, I don't feel a thing about it. I don't believe in "days" (i.e. birthdays, v-day, etc.) anyways. But, just do it out of compassion. Eh, besides, sometimes people who done bad things - when they get older - they don't wanna talk/relive that, but they sorta try to make up for it and there's no need to humiliate them. I see that with my mum. She doesn't have much money, but now her grandkids are what's keeping her ticking (and seems like we all have that to reflect on once we get older - our "legacy" if you will). She's stepped in and helped out with the grandkids and still does. I see that as her trying to make amends and just wanting to move on. So, again, I don't feel a thing when I get her a mum's day card/gift/etc. I just do it out of compassion. Not telling you that's what you "have" to do - but it's not gonna kill you to get a nice card for them. Also, I don't get like a "you're the greatest parent" card. I just get them a simple card saying 'Have a happy Mum/dad day'. God is watching us and He warns us to have compassion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted April 27, 2015 Author Share Posted April 27, 2015 You know, I get that. And I commend you, and I often do things, out of compassion for my parents, and separate it being about a celebrate how great they are. Last mothers day, I took my mom out, got her her nails done, and went for lunch. This year, I will do something similar. Although, I have to say, my previous message was a wake up call to those parents who seem to think respect is due to them, when they don't treat their children with respect in the first place, or honor them, and expect a happy mother/fathers day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 One of the things I learned throughout my life is that respect MUST be earned, and not given. As to why I am saying this is because it applies to parents and children as well. My parents, for lack of a better word, has been useless to me. Outside of my father being capable of cooking and my mother not willing to abandon her kids, I can't find much else to say about either of them positively. What made me the guy I am today is part of me understanding and learning the life my parents has lived and what actions they made to get them there and the other part of me wanting a far better life for myself and for my future family. I don't blame children who had lived a harder life due to their parent's actions, made the changes necessary to be successful and lose all respect for their parents. I don't blame parents who tried to do the best they can for their kids, they decide not to listen and go down a darker path, and the parents decide to cut out all contact with them. Respect has to be earned. Parents have to earn their kids' respect. Kids have to earn their parent's respect. Only by then would the meaning behind Father's Day and Mother's Day be truly relevant. I am sure if I ever be a parent, I hope to earn my kids' trust and respect and I also hope my kids see that I am a parent worth getting my trust and respect to them as well. Just like I hope to gain my future wife's trust and respect and vice versa. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 "I am sure if I ever be a parent, I hope to earn my kids' trust and respect and I also hope my kids see that I am a parent worth getting my trust and respect to them as well." To all the parents, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY/HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Oh, I deserve it! My husband does, too. And so to my mother and father When my kids ask why there is a mother's day, and a father's day, but not a kid's day, I remind them that every day is kids' day My kids, however, are well loved and supported. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 On the flip side? Where is written in stone on some mountain high for any and all to see, that children are such a blessing and joy, and are to be held in such high esteem? There are lots of sons and daughters, who aren't worthy of their parents, nor what their parents gave them, sacrificed for them. Parental Estrangement is at epidemic proportions throughout the Western World. And usually for some minor and frivolous reason that is small, petty and insignificant. I've several male friends aka Father's with grown adult children who feel that somehow they're entitled to and expectant that they're parents are and endless source of this ~ that or the other form of bailout for whatever "Life Trap" they've fallen into. Personally, I think and feel that the whole Mother's Day and Father's Day business is a bunch of crap! Primarily promoted and perpetuated by the 5th Avenue crowd. Just more of the capitalistic system to suck another penny out of the average Joe for yet another frivolous and meaningless holiday ~ or at least calendar date. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 WOW.... Must be one of the few that honored my mother and have much regard for the responsibility. So Blessed to have had the love of my mother. I miss her every day. I'll remember her and still think well of her. This topic wont change that Happy Moms day to the Ladies that carry a role that is 24 /7. ! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I agree, I honestly think these holidays are a bit over hyped. Parents like my dad feel gifts and special treatment are owed and not a privilege. I think even a small sentiment to show you care to someone who has been good to you is a nice thing to do. But I think a lot of parents think special treatment is owed to them for the above mentioned reasons. People choose to procreate and your kids do not owe you anything just because you have the title of mom or dad. It doesn't mean you were a good one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DatingDirection Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 Thanks Pink Sugar, that's exactly the point I was trying to convey. Link to post Share on other sites
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