narcisisstic family - scapegoat

[baloon]

hi, im wondering if any of you know about narcistic families.

 

it is genetic and runs in my family. im the only member of my emediate family who is not a narcisist or psychopath. im the one that dosnt have a personality disorder

 

but i need help on escaping them. they see im the normal one so my parents tell people always that i have emotional problems. because they think it is a problem to have a normal range of emotions and empathy when they are flat and their only emotions are rage, jealousy and greed.

 

so they see me as the problem.both my parents are psychopaths that are sadistic. as you can imagine how fun it has been to grow up with them and be around them

 

im never bored around my family because there is always drama, always fighting and yelling and rages from them.

 

my family did terrible abuse to me and still controls me, and you dont know what control is until youve been in the controlling clutches of a psychopath. it is the same as being virtually chained to the fireplace. once they got you they got you and they make sure there is no escape

 

turning 18 means nothing to them. it just means another year to serve them and be their object.

 

my parents did everything to make sure that i cannot make it on my own in the world. they started drugging me as a teenager because they have munchausens by proxy so they have been telling people something is the problem with me.

 

the drugs made me really sick. it ruined my health. they gave me diseases and injuries so ive been homebound my whole adult life, stuck with them

 

when i expressed wanting to leave and go to college they buckled down more on me and went to court against me and took out a whole bunch of lawsuits to try to get me to stay and it worked. the court ordered me to stay with these psychos and because of that my parents gave me a disease

 

the disease is life threatening and i almost died

 

but my family dosnt care.

 

they keep me physically sick with debilitating diseases and injuries

 

they dont let me make decisions on anything they control everything, and i cannot fight back it does not work

 

if i tell them to respect me im an adult it dosnt mean anything

 

my parents try to stop me from getting healthcare and medicine to stop me from being well

 

they dont let me pick out my own food. they decide what food im allowed to get. and it is usually only food they like to eat if it dosnt taste good to them i cannot eat that food. i am 31 by the way

 

so i dont know how to even pick out food anymore.i think i developed dependant personality disorder because of them over my 20s

 

in my early 20s i was so independant minded and now im scared

 

my family went away to a hotel for 2 weeks and left me home and i was scared. but also because i have a medical problem and it is not safe to be alone

 

 

they never allowed me to work, didnt allow me to go to college

 

when i told my parents that i want to work or go to college they would threaten me, go to court against me and have me commited to try to stop me

 

they are liars so everything they say sounds true. they are pathalogical liars so when they lie to court judges, hospitals, psychiatrsist it sounds true

 

and no one believes me

 

so i cant just call social services or police because when i did do that my parents answer the door and say our daughter is emotionally disturbed she is lying

 

and then they tell some entire story about how im crazy and they are believed

 

it is impossible for me to be believed if they are saying another story

 

a psychopathic liar is much more believed than a person trying to say the truth

 

im 31 no college degree, no driver liscense, never worked. homebound most of my adult life

 

my parents dont let me socialize so i never had friends

 

any friends who tried to call me , my father would yell at them and hang up the phone

 

and then by age 25 i became too mentally disabled to socialize because of the disease my parents gave me, i got a brain infection from it and lost my ability to talk and walk sometimes and had stroke and seizure symptoms

 

but they never went with me to one doctor or did anything to help

 

i think my parents were hoping i wouild die that is why they think i dont need a college degree or to work

 

my parents were inviting criminals to come harm me while i had trouble talking and walking. so last year when some symptoms cleared up after the people brutally attacked me, i tried to go to a homeless shelter

 

my instinct said make a run from it. i realized all i need is my health

 

i got to the homeless shelter from the hospital and when i got there i was too weak, dizzy and could not walk up the steps so they sent me back to the hospital and i got sent back home

 

a homeless shelter is not supportive enough for me they said im too disabled to get around on my own

 

i still fear for my life because of those criminals and i dont know how they found out about me but i think they are psychopaths like my parents

 

no normal person would mistreat me

 

i have mobility trouble too from the various injuries since my 20s

 

so i cannot do alot of things in the last 10 yrs physically. i had to relearn how to do everything, tie my shoe, dress, bathe, use a toilet.

 

my parents built a psych history for me so i have to be careful because when they say alarming things to people such as emotional problems it leads people to think schitzophrenia

 

they mislead people and give false info to people on me, and they dont understand why my parents would lie

 

but pathalogical liars lie for fun, even if their lie kills someone they lie because they are bored or to stir drama

 

and they like attention and pity from authorities and audiences. so them telling psychiatrists that im schitzo would get them alot of attention and pity. and any time i complained about abuse no one would believe me because i was labeled as schitzo

 

my parents have everything cornered, every escape plan

 

they crippled me so i cant even make it in a homeless shelter

 

they didnt let me work or get an education.i have about 3rd grade math level

 

but writing and language are my better skills. but i lost that during my brain infection. it depends on each day

 

they didnt let me socialize before my brain infection so i never had friends to help

 

so i have no money saved

 

i cant drive a car due to the injuries

 

i now have insomnia in the last year and i have trouble focusing because of that because i got a traumatic brain injury from the violent attacks.it is bothering me always and i cannot function, i have some neuro damage. yes a tramatic brain injury after a few yrs long brain infection. every night is a challenge of weather or not i will sleep that night or ever again.and i do not feel like i slept at all any day since last year. and i cannot function with less than 8-10 hours of sleep before the brain injury. so this is a big deal to me. some people are prone to sleeping less. but not me i used to be a heavy sleeper and always slept 8-10 hours.now if i have 5 hours of sleep i have to accept that as normal . but i do not feel well rested and i feel as if i do not need sleep ever since last year. i have never been like this before the injury.

 

because my parents let people injure me

 

i do not know how i made it and am here sitll, maybe my age made me resilient but i almost died from this all.

 

 

also, i noticed since my parents made me sick from my infection that also turned into a brain infection, more psychopaths have been going up to me to harm me

 

ive been picked on more

 

because i look helpless and they like to pick on people

 

 

but also some people have been nice to me such as strangers asking me if im okay

 

 

so some people do know how to treat me

 

my family are jekyl and hyde

 

it is the only family i have. to me it is normalized. but they are all narcisists. my parents are sadistic psychopaths and my siblings are all some form of narcists and some of them have personality disorders

 

so they do not love me

 

but they are sometimes nice. psychopaths are not mean all the time, up to half the time they are nice, funny and cool people. so i can get along with my family sometimes

 

but then the next day they turn on me and snap and get violent or start threatening me and insulting me and making my life some hell

 

and then i blame myself and dont understand. it is like they have multiple personality disorder or are posessed

 

 

but that is how they are. they can be nice to me one day and then2 days later make my life a living hell

 

 

my siblings have been helpful to me at times. my parents dont do anything for me. but my siblings are lesser psychopaths, i think they might be some lower form of psychopath or narcists

 

theres times my siblings will go to the drugstore and get me things i need, pick up food for me or seem worried and then snap at me and threaten me and avoid me and be abusive and say bad things about me

 

it is strange. but that is how narcisists are jekyl and hyde

 

so i have to be scared if they will be nice or mean

 

but my family does not love me

 

also my parents have been less abusive to my adult siblings also. they are somewhat controlling to my other adult siblings but they are the most contolling to me

 

i dont know how to make it, or be a regular adult

 

i dont know what to do because i cant work, im isolated

 

but i am willing to put up with too much from my family

 

i let them do many of these things to me and i think it is ok because it is family

 

 

if i did any of the things that my parents did to me they would go ballistic and throw a fit and have me arrested even if i did one of the hundreds of things

 

 

because they demand respect but they want to disrespect people

 

my parents are jealous of their kids so the whole idea of me having a normal life, friends, job, career, hobbies makes them fuming mad

 

so they do not want me to do anything

 

im scared to bring up the idea of getting married.because i did once and that did not go well, my parents dont want me to get married and it is strange

it made them jealous, my parents are married but the idea of anyone else such as their child going on a date makes them fuming angry jealous

 

they never allowed me to go on a date

 

it is so strange so i have to act a certain way around my parents, and not bring things up and not talk about what i want to do or what i want to accomplish because they will go after that and not allow that

 

they will put a physical road block

 

 

it is strange because my parents allow my siblings to have a career and they talk infront of me about trying to get my younger siblings married

 

and for me they just want me to do nothing so they can abuse me

 

and they laugh at me about things that are not going ok

 

they make fun of me about medical issues they caused

 

im the only one in my family not allowed to get a college degree

 

i dont know why i tolerate abuse

 

 

maybe i put up with it because i do not have anyone else

 

even my extended family has mental problems and personality disorders, it is genetic on both sides. so theres no relatives that care

 

maybe i did develope dependant personality disorder in my 20s because i will put up with their abuse because im afraid to be on my own because i dont know how to

 

so id rather deal with their abuse then fear unknown or being on my own with disabilities and medical issues

[Clarence_Boddicker]

What country do you live in?

 

 

What culture or religion is your family?

[baloon]

i live in america, usa

 

 

and my families culture and religion is american human,

 

i suspect their religion is satanism

 

 

what does culture and religion have to do with this?

[eye of the storm]

I suspect Clarence_Boddicker asked those questions because they would change how he or others would respond.

 

What country is relevant because different countries have different support structures and how to activate them are different.

 

What culture is relevant because social convention in different cultures cause people to react differently than others.

 

What religion is relevant because depending again on what subset what support is available.

 

He was asking questions so he could better target his advice I would assume.

 

He did nothing to attack you, your response style is likely to keep others from offering assistance.

 

I would give very different advice to a young woman in a Muslim family in UAE than a young woman in a non religious family in FL.

[Minnie09]

So you're basically saying that your whole family is abusing you, and that they have been physically abusing you and hurt you, and they let other people – strangers – abuse you physically also?

Well. You need to get out. You know what the problem is, obviously, and you are able to voice it clearly here on this board. You need to find one person that you can trust, who is not a member of your immediate family, and open up to them, so they can help you. I doubt that you're in a position to do it all by yourself, since you're very anxious and physically incapacitated (if I understand that correctly). I feel for you. And I know it's easier said than done. But since you're aware of the problem, and the root of the problem, you can start to find a solution. You will be helped. You can find a job. You can learn independence. It'll be difficult, and you will need support. But it will empower you, once you start taking baby steps.

I didn't understand one thing: They won't let you get married? Were you engaged? Did you have a boyfriend? What happened to that?

[darkmoon]

i think you got so treated because you were the result of an affair

 

call a doctor, ask them to help you, you must find a freindly ally off-line but keep us posted here, tell us how things are going

Edited April 30, 2015 by darkmoon

[baloon]

im not the result of an affair

 

i look physically identical to both my parents and have the same genes, medical, likes, dislikes, skills as both. i am their biological child and they wanted alot of kids on purpose, my mom purposely got pregnant with 10 babies. not for religous reasons. some of them were miscarried

 

my mom never cheated on my dad

 

i dont think religion counts but no im not from a religous family and it is the usa. there is no religous cult or custom in my family. so that is out of the question, we are not muslim

 

my parents are strict and never let me go on a date, so marriage is not an issue

 

there are crazy parents from all backgrounds even non religous ones with no culture

 

no one in my extended family or who i know or grew up with is treated like me so it is not a cultural thing

 

i cant find a job because my doctors told me ill probably never be able to work because my injuries and medical issues are too severe.

 

i was told a few yrs ago by my doctors id probably be stuck in a wheelchair by now but that didnt happen yet

 

but i have so many serious disabilities, i cant take care of myself

 

but i think i let them do all this to me. because i didnt do everything to get myself out at a younger age

 

because of the loyalty and stockholm syndrome

 

i should have found a way to get out before the people attacked me brutally. but no one would call an ambulance for me. i was too weak to get to the door and had stroke symptoms

 

i think i need to realize the more time i want to spend with my parents the more physical injuries, trips to the hospital and life threatening medical diseases im willing to get.

 

and that will add to more expensive medical bills. i didnt have this many medical diseases and medical symptoms 7-10 yrs ago. it adds up with these people

[Hope Shimmers]

Has anyone ever told you that you might have schizophrenia?

[baloon]

i feel like im getting embarassed here and put downs and not positive support

 

 

you guys are saying my mother is promiscous and slept around, saying i was the result of an affair.

 

and now your accusing me of schitzophrenia when you dont know the situation, only i do i was there.

 

no i dont have schitzophrenia or psychiatric trouble.

[makeithappen]

i feel like im getting embarassed here and put downs and not positive support

 

 

you guys are saying my mother is promiscous and slept around, saying i was the result of an affair.

 

and now your accusing me of schitzophrenia when you dont know the situation, only i do i was there.

 

no i dont have schitzophrenia or psychiatric trouble.

 

 

I'm sorry if you feel put down in this thread.

 

I think what your parents did is terrible and you should escape, to finally be able to live a decent, safe, and happy life.

 

I left home because my family is narcissistic. I did not go through what you've been through (medication etc), but they were hell to live with.

When I could support myself a bit, I left. I don't regret it.

I think you need to get out and save yourself.

You deserve much more.

You deserve genuine love, which I think you are not getting.

Best of luck and let us know how you get on.

[makeithappen]

Has anyone ever told you that you might have schizophrenia?

 

this is not helpful and seems quite aggressive.

 

How insensitive of you!

[makeithappen]

i think you got so treated because you were the result of an affair

 

call a doctor, ask them to help you, you must find a freindly ally off-line but keep us posted here, tell us how things are going

 

 

Please refrain from making speculations like these, especially as it's not helpful!

[Hope Shimmers]

this is not helpful and seems quite aggressive.

 

How insensitive of you!

 

It was an honest question. There is nothing "aggressive" about it. I didn't "suggest" the OP may have it; I just asked, based on some of the things others had said to OP as reported in her/his own post, if anyone had ever claimed that. There's nothing wrong with having it or not, but it might make a difference in the responses and advice how to get out of the situation.

Edited May 2, 2015 by Hope Shimmers

[anika99]

OP you posted this story under a different username several months ago. At that time I suggested that you print off everything just as you wrote here and find someone in real life to talk to. Have you tried that? What is it you are looking for here? We can't come and rescue you, so what are you doing to help yourself?

 

 

By the way what diseases did your family give you and how did they give those diseases to you? You got to admit that your story sounds pretty fantastical. I believe on your last thread you said that your phone and your room had been bugged or something but that your parents are computer illiterate and so you are safe from them online. I'm sorry but the story just sounds far fetched. Surely someone who is as lucid and literate as you are could find a way to get help.

[SpiralOut]

It was an honest question. There is nothing "aggressive" about it. I didn't "suggest" the OP may have it; I just asked, based on some of the things others had said to OP as reported in her/his own post, if anyone had ever claimed that. There's nothing wrong with having it or not, but it might make a difference in the responses and advice how to get out of the situation.

 

At first I thought your question was rude, but re-reading the OP's post, I see that his/her parents have told other people that the OP has schizophrenia. I too am curious to know where the parents got the idea from.

[baloon]

the schitzophrenia thing is not relevant

 

as for the name calling, psychopaths love to tell people that others have schitzophrenia, my parents have said everyone else in my family has schitzophrenia

 

it is a word they use loosely, but it is part of their gaslighting, reflecting

 

 

if you dont know anything about psychopaths you wont know what im saying.

 

 

they all do this. but my parents are not important. im important because this concerrns me and is not about them or anything they have to say

 

(everything they say is a lie)

 

im a good, kind person and dont deserve this

 

and unless youve been in my shoes or have been a survivor of domestic violence and abuse you wont know what is going on

 

because most abuse victims in the end coming out looking crazy, they do character assasinations on us. the abusers usually look like the victims

 

i know what schitzophrenia is and ive never been told by a psychologist that i have that.

 

 

the last psychologist i went to said im normal and dont have psychiatric trouble and she said my parents are the problems and that they are mentally sick for what they did

 

the only reason she said that is because my parents didnt know that i went to anyone. so she didnt get to get their claws in and tell their pathalogical lies to people

 

so they got an honest perspective of me

 

ok so to answer the question there is no psychiatric trouble

[Hope Shimmers]

the schitzophrenia thing is not relevant

It's very relevant if it exists.

 

as for the name calling, psychopaths love to tell people that others have schitzophrenia, my parents have said everyone else in my family has schitzophrenia

 

it is a word they use loosely, but it is part of their gaslighting, reflecting

 

 

if you dont know anything about psychopaths you wont know what im saying.

 

 

they all do this. but my parents are not important. im important because this concerrns me and is not about them or anything they have to say

 

(everything they say is a lie)

 

im a good, kind person and dont deserve this

 

and unless youve been in my shoes or have been a survivor of domestic violence and abuse you wont know what is going on

 

because most abuse victims in the end coming out looking crazy, they do character assasinations on us. the abusers usually look like the victims

 

i know what schitzophrenia is and ive never been told by a psychologist that i have that.

 

 

the last psychologist i went to said im normal and dont have psychiatric trouble and she said my parents are the problems and that they are mentally sick for what they did

 

the only reason she said that is because my parents didnt know that i went to anyone. so she didnt get to get their claws in and tell their pathalogical lies to people

 

so they got an honest perspective of me

 

ok so to answer the question there is no psychiatric trouble

 

No one here can help you. You need to find a way to help yourself. If what you say is true, and you are not suffering from any psychiatric illnesses (your posts point towards the opposite fairly strongly; sorry if that offends; it's just my observation from a lot of experience), then you should be in a position to remove yourself or find help. None of us here can swoop in and rescue you - it's up to you. Best to you.

[velvette]

What did the psychologist you went to suggest you should do to improve your situation?

 

 

Could you go back to that person or perhaps a psychiatric social worker and get them to help you come up with a practical plan to move your life forward?

 

 

With all due respect, it seems almost impossible that you could be totally "normal" growing up and living under the circumstances your describe. At a minimum, I would think you would have some emotional/psychological damage you need to work through to enable you to stand up for yourself and create a normal life.

 

 

At a minimum, your post gives the impression you don't know how to navigate the real world. For example, if you are truly so disabled physically that you cant work, I would think you would qualify for some kind of govt assistance. Whether or not that would be sufficient to be on your own, I don't know, but perhaps you should look into it.

[baloon]

I cant navigate the real world because ive been controlled since before i was 18 and isolated my whole life and not allowed to socialize or learn. ive never been allowed to make many important and basic decisions for myself

 

so how am i supposed to know how to be an adult?

 

i have terrible diseases, and it is hard and ive been in alot of pain from that disease the last 6 yrs. screaming almost every day. and wounds that dont heal

 

my doctors gave up on me because no antibiotics helped and the infection got to my brain and i got encephalitis, so im not able to do things. i dont understand

 

i have some kind of dementia from the infection and my autoimmune disease

 

but i cant get tested because i cant find people to test me for brain damage

 

i tried and they all want thousands of dollars from me and i dont have

 

so i cant apply for government assistance because it is too hard for me

 

i cant even get to the office either, but forget about paperwork

 

 

to the person who said all abuse survivors are mentally damaged, that is not true at all

 

who the hell told you that? your not a psychologist so dont assume stuff, abuse dosnt cause people to become mentally ill

 

maybe stop the stereotypes, it is stereotypes like that that cause people to never want to help me in real life.

 

nature vs nurture. people have to be born with some mental defect that causes them psychiatric issues or some drug, enviromental toxin

 

i was not born with that. the only affect the abuse had on me psychologically speaking is i became shy and had to work on my self esteem. if being shy with low self esteem means im crazy then i dont know

 

 

but everyone who knows me, met me away from my parents says im one of the most normal people they know(before my infection)

 

i am more normal than most people i meet.

 

 

i dont know why my doctors dont want to help, because they know no drug out there was invented to help me. because the strongest antibiotics are resistant to the bacteria

 

i was begging for years for them to check me in to cure me and no that wont happen

 

i have no immune defense so i cant live with other people, ive been stuck in a room for years with no people

 

it is the only room im able to be in

 

i cant share a bathroom with anyone because im contagous and have open leaky wounds for 6 yrs

 

and i cant go near people or share bathroom because it gets me sick

 

but i dont know how to be an 18 yr old adult even tho im 31

 

because my parents forced me like this, they didnt let me do things and then they gave me dementia and brain damage. they exposed me to a contagous disease in their home against my will

 

and they refused to follow sanitary protocol to keep clean, the home clean

 

they trapped me

 

i might be able to sue them for giving me the disease

 

and they made me live in filthy conditions

 

i dont even know how to find out what degree of brain damage i got? my health insurance dosnt cover a trip to a neuropsychologist or neuropsychiatrist

 

so i have no idea how to get diagnosed since regular psychologists/social workers said my problem is too severe for them to help because they said it is neurological and not psychological

 

 

they said go find a neuropsychologist and i tried and my insurance dosnt cover any of them.

 

and i cant really navigate things on my own

 

i was tested last year for some thing and it picked up brain damage/severed axons in a few parts of my brain.

 

but i need another test to find out what skills are lost

 

i had seizures

 

and i cant get that test because i dont have thousands of dollars and health insurance dosnt cover it but the neurologist said i need that test

 

the emergency room wanted to do a spinal tap on me and i had to get all these scans and tests in the emergency room because they thought i was dying

 

but the outpatient test i need to determine what skills are damaged i cant get because it is not covered by my insurance

[velvette]

Psychologists and psychiatric social workers do not just treat people who are mentally ill. They help people who are having problems of all kinds. Not being able to function normally in life is certainly something they should be able to help you with.

 

 

If your insurance covered a psychologist, they will probably cover a psychiatric social worker or a licensed clinical social worker.

 

 

This type of counselor should be able to help you find the resources you need to start solving your problems. They are most likely to know what is available where you live to help with the issues you have.