vtjenni2005 Posted April 19, 2005 Share Posted April 19, 2005 Every time my ex lover thinks that I a truly not interested in continuing the relationship, he will come into work (yes we work together) saying how, he is so unhappy and is going to leave his wife. I have always said, I am sorry to hear that, and that I will support him as a friend, but then he feels this is the opportunity to tell me how much he misses me and still want to be with me intimately. I know he will never leave his wife, that is why I have walked away. But I did fall in love with him, and he knows it, I told him I love him, which I still do. He has told me he loves me ( I think to keep me from walking away) But I know it is no good. What I want to know, is what to say to him. He even has his wife almost convinced that he never cheated and it is all in her head and she is insecure and has to deal with that. (that is when I drew the line) How do I say," You have some issues, where you have to control me" he has no control at home (his wife has him on a short leash so he says) . He has even told me about another woman at work that "wants to F%$K" him (translation, he wants her), and still will say things to me that he thinks will make me want to be with him. Is it me, or is he a "sadistic control freak" playing with my emotions like that. It is like he knows I am almost over him, and he starts the whole thing over again. I have not acted on these advances since initially ending the affair. Help Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted April 19, 2005 Share Posted April 19, 2005 You don't sound like you need any help at all........good for you for overlooking his comments YES - he is a control freak and he uses any verbal bait that he has to to get your attention. Hoping that you will fall for his crap cop out line......"I think I'm going to leave my wife" what does he think you are.......a fish? He thinks if he baits "the line" well enough that you will grab hold of it! The decision is ultimatly yours but to tell you the truth?.......he sounds like a freakin' jerk to me! How dare he throw lines like that at you! Is he playing on the fact that you are lonely just to get what he wants? Let him go f*ck the other girl......I hope his controlling wife finds out!!! And as a matter of fact.....that is how he controls his wife........he screws around on her so that (in his mind) he is in the power position. Keep your chin up girl! bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
followingthru Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 is the possibility of getting a new job and not seeing the jerk anymore completely out of the question? Link to post Share on other sites
Firesqueak Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Sounds like some of my exes! LOL! Umm...your best bet is just to ignore his comments, OR, (and probably the best thing to do) is to tell him flat out that you do not want to be his friend, or confidant, any more. You may want to go as far as to tell him exactly how you feel about him, so he will fully understand that you are no longer interested in his games, and will no longer allow him to drag you around by your emotions. It is selfish of him to use you as a safety net when things aren't going his way. If you cater to this, "Oh Poor Me!" attitude that he has, you are enabeling him to use you. IMHO, if you ignore him, you are, in a sense, enabeling him to act how he pleases. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vtjenni2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Author Share Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by followingthru is the possibility of getting a new job and not seeing the jerk anymore completely out of the question? Trust me, I am currently sending my resume for every job opportunity I see. I love my job, but would easily quit, I know i will never see him in public, I never did before I started this job. I just HATE the fact that I have to resort to this. Link to post Share on other sites
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