thorin Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm 2 months after a break up, from my first relationship. I haven't met anyone since then, I'm rather trying to improve my life so that my happiness won't depend on another person again. But how can I achieve that? During the relationship: - I got fired from my first, well paid, and really good job, because I wanted to be meeting with her more often - I've been missing lectures and classes, so right now I have three courses not passed in my uni - I stopped working out - I started eating unhealthy - my emotions were correlated with what she did...I mean, something was wrong - I was sad and angry, something was ok - I was happy...it all came down to her - I spent a lot of money on her Right now, being single: - I found much better job, in a better place, and I have much more money - I began working out, everyday - I'm starting to do better on my univerity - I began meeting more often with my friends - I drink too much and party too much - and I still have a diet to start But I am not happy. Not at all. Whatever I do, I think about her. I try to improve myself in every detail...well, maybe I have to work on picking up girls more, but that's what I want to avoid - external validation. What should I do? I changed so much things, even my clothing style. And I feel like none of this helps, my self-esteem is still sh*t, I can't remove my ex from my thoughts, I can't get rid of all those emotions... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 From reading your post it appears you supplicated at the altar of your ex, losing a good deal of your self-direction and personal focus in the process. Rebounding from such a psychological perspective can be difficult emotionally. Ha, yeah, BTDT plenty as a young man so can empathize. Being happy as a single person essentially is being happy with oneself. It's a process. The good news is that it gets easier as one experiences more relationships and their demise, whether through breakups or death. The ease comes from the life experience and tools which are learned from practice and living. Spending more time with friends, cutting back the drinking and pursuing personal goals would be my suggestions. If a dating opportunity comes your way and you feel like it, try it. Don't expect miracles. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thorin Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 So basically you're telling me to keep doing what I was doing. But I was doing it for 2 months, and it didn't help Link to post Share on other sites
loveboid Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Be grateful for what you have. Help others and develop a skill in the process. Then you'll be happy with yourself and gain self confidence and self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 You actually need to analyze why you made poor choices. To lose a good job & get behind in school all so you can hang out with a GF are not mature well balanced choices. Until you can manage your own life intelligently, getting into a new relationship may not be the best idea for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Enjoy your freedom while it lasts. Relationships are responsibilities. Do some things you can't in most relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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