How to get over being shy?

[Calidude6]

I don't want to sound cocky because I'm too damn shy to be cocky but I'm an attractive dude but shy as hell. I don't like rejections so I don't take much risk. My shyness sometimes prevents me from talking a lot and have short convos. I'm not the best at communication to start with. I'm assuming I don't have a lot of self confidence if I'm a shy?

 

What are ways to be less shy?

[d0nnivain]

Do things out of your comfort zone. Smile & say hello to strangers. Join a group like toastmaster which is about public speaking. If you can do that, small interactions will be easier. Learn how to network. It's a skill but it will overcome shyness.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Get yourself out there. Make plenty of mistakes & learn from them.

[davidromero43]

Make a game out of it. If you have a friend. See who can say the stupidest conversation starter.

 

"Excuse me, which are better? Cats or Dogs? Dogs? Yes!" Then walk off.

[gaius]

It's like any other skill really, just practice at it. I spend a ton of time in my own head, analyzing pretty much any social interaction I have with people that doesn't go all that well. Figuring out what worked and what didn't, if there's any improvement that can be made for next time. And it's paid dividends in the long run.

 

Actually had a pretty decent conversation with a woman in a see through shirt the other day who was having trouble paying for parking. Almost made my eyes pop out of my head. I probably wouldn't have even bothered to say hello or even make eye contact 5 years ago.

[guild11]

Do the stuff that make you shy - confront the "problem"

[gaius]

See Cali, today at the train station I said hello to an Indian woman, she said hello back and mentioned how nicely dressed I was. I have little experience with being dressed nice or conservative Indian women so I had no idea wtf to say, I just said thank you and started talking about the weather. But after that I ran it through my head and figured out what to say for next time. So now I'm prepared.

 

Just do that with every social situation you think you need inprovement on and eventually it will get easy. The first few back and forths are usually the trickiest, after that it usually gets easier or one of you just naturally wanders off.

[Ronni_W]

Calidude6,

There is a world of difference between being shy and disliking or being afraid of rejection. For the record, NOBODY likes rejections. EVERYBODY is equal, in this.

 

Have you ever had the courage to do a thought experiment, and just envision what inherent change will happen within you if some random stranger -- who is not smart enough to recognize the awesomeness that you are -- says no to your invite for coffee (or whatever), or does not find you so funny as you tried to be, or otherwise decides that you are not to their particular taste?

 

For the record, NOT all of the 7+billion people on the planet are going to find you to their particular taste. That's just fact...which also applies to each and every other person on the planet. If you're okay that only 3.5 billion of them will do so...or only 1 billion...or even only 1 million...well...you can you see that YOUR chance of acceptance is the same as anyone else's, yes? (Yes, including whichever celebrity you care to mention. Some of them will get "picked" for their money or fame or whatever...but not necessarily for their awesomeness.)

 

It really is fine, when you are not to someone else's particular taste. It does NOT make you less awesome than you are. Even if you're not as awesome as...Brad Pitt or Clooney or whomever. It's still fine, and no need to inhibit your own self and hide your own, unique awesomeness. It is yours; flaunt it, be happy about it, be creative with it! Why not?