Hav Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) I've known her for 4 years of my life online, we've been dating for about 3 1/2 of that time, on and off. We've had our problems in the past but those are behind us, and are not an issue now. She visited me in December, and we both agreed it was probably the best time of our life, and the months after that were good, even kind of saddening that we weren't with each other anymore. She'd tell me she missed me when I went to sleep, romantic stuff like that, but after a while, she started getting angry at a lot of the things I did, and defensive about small things. I'm not good with expressing myself over text, or even a video call, so part of her anger is probably my fault, at miscommunication, but she says i'm the only one who makes her mad. Now, she's saying she still loves me, and i'm her best friend, but she just wants to be friends, her mind is set, and there is no convincing her on a second chance, she just says we're not compatible, even if I didn't piss her off, which I believe I wouldn't do in person, we're just not compatible, and she says she no longer has the urge to sleep with me, or anything of the such, and can't live with me. We had plans for me to visit in the summer, and she says the plans are still on, because we're friends, but she was fairly clear that I was visiting, but not for another chance. What should I do? How can I get her back? Edited April 27, 2015 by Hav Link to post Share on other sites
dave_1966 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 I'd let her go to be honest. Watch some Corey Wayne on YouTube to cheer yourself up. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 After 3 years if you are only up to occasional visits every 6 months or so she has finally realized that a relationship with you is a pipe dream & she wants more. So she's dropping you in favor of somebody more local. I suggest you do the same. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Syberia Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Don't see her this summer. You will want more, she won't, and it will be awkward if one of you is so far from home. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Now, she's saying she still loves me, and i'm her best friend, but she just wants to be friends, her mind is set, and there is no convincing her on a second chance, she just says we're not compatible, even if I didn't piss her off, which I believe I wouldn't do in person, we're just not compatible, and she says she no longer has the urge to sleep with me, or anything of the such, and can't live with me. Its finished, you have to move on and I suggest you do not get involved in such a long term LDR again. Find a girl you can speak to in person, and who you can do great things together with, every day if you want to. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NC-Thomas Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Very convienient for her to be friends with you while you want to be romantically involved. We both know who is pulling the last straw here: you. She gets the cake and eats it ! Furthermore the whole "were not compatible" thing is bull****, people don't need +3 years to find that out. Chances are likely she has better options right know in her life, such as another guy most likely. My advice: 1. No friends 2. No contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Syberia Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 Its finished, you have to move on and I suggest you do not get involved in such a long term LDR again. I would always make this suggestion. IMO, LDR only works if there is a guaranteed end-date such as a set of circumstances that will guarantee you being close to each other distance-wise some time in the future. Otherwise it usually doesn't work out. She has probably found someone local, and the same thing may have happened on your end if you did fist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hav Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 I grew up with her in my life over long distance because I am a gamer, and She hasn't met someone local, she hasn't met anybody. What she says is, we aren't compatible, she gets angry at some questions I ask. I am honestly not sure what changed, In fact, a week and a half before the break up she was telling me about how she'd still sleep with me, even if we were friends, because she loves me that much, but a week later, I get an explosion, and now she doesn't want to touch me, and she is very determined that I can never be the person she can spend her life with, but she has said that she is fine with "me being her best friend for the rest of her life, but to live with you, I can't" She says even If I was to make her less angry in person, even if I was "Perfect" We're just not compatible. When we met in person the time before that, it was perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
BlackbirdSong Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 There's somebody else. You just don't know it. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Most likely the "visit in the summer" plan is just a sham to put you off in the hopes you'll fade, so I wouldn't put much faith in that. There's nothing you can do get her back at this point anyway. You got dumped. Welcome to the club. Pretty much everyone on earth's a member. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 I grew up with her in my life over long distance because I am a gamer, and She hasn't met someone local, she hasn't met anybody. What she says is, we aren't compatible, she gets angry at some questions I ask. I am honestly not sure what changed, In fact, a week and a half before the break up she was telling me about how she'd still sleep with me, even if we were friends, because she loves me that much, but a week later, I get an explosion, and now she doesn't want to touch me, and she is very determined that I can never be the person she can spend her life with, but she has said that she is fine with "me being her best friend for the rest of her life, but to live with you, I can't" She says even If I was to make her less angry in person, even if I was "Perfect" We're just not compatible. When we met in person the time before that, it was perfect. "We aren't compatible" doesn't make sense to you... because it is a LIE. This is something she's telling you to soften the blow. This is something she's telling you because she cares about you too much to tell you the truth -- because if she did, you'd probably hate her for it. She's met someone else and she wants to be free to pursue him. That's what happened. Because of this, her feelings for you have changed, you're no longer the person she has that special romantic yearning for. She feels guilty and doesn't want to hurt you because you've done nothing wrong. ^ That's what she'd be saying, if she was telling the truth. Please take the advice you've been given and go No Contact. It will help you heal about a billion times faster. Don't be there for her as a "friend" to hold her hand and help her feel less guilty for dumping you. You're free now to meet someone closer to you, who you can see all the time! Not how you wanted things to turn out.... but in time, you're going to be happier with that kind of relationship. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Link to post Share on other sites
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