Are some not able to handle long distance relationships for good reason?

[fardaxel]

Is one selfish and not worth it if they can't wait for you in a long distance relationship?

 

I will be moving to where my ex lives next year (it previously was 2 years from now but now it'll be earlier.) and I still have hope that maybe we can try again and see if we are really compatible. But I keep having this nagging feeling that someone who claims they love you should be able to wait right?? On the other hand, I'm empathetic to understand that not everyone can handle long distance relationships and some people need the intimacy of their partner. What is your opinion?

 

I don't see the point of a long distance relationship. No amount of emailing or Skyping will replace being able to see, touch, and smell your partner.

 

It's not that they don't love you. I'm sure they do. But we still have to make number one ourselves - and for all the sappy romanticism that people think accompanies an LDR, the reality is very different.

 

There are plenty of people out there. Why pick a pseudo-relationship, with faux intimacy when you can have the real deal?

[okc85]

I don't see the point of a long distance relationship. No amount of emailing or Skyping will replace being able to see, touch, and smell your partner.

 

It's not that they don't love you. I'm sure they do. But we still have to make number one ourselves - and for all the sappy romanticism that people think accompanies an LDR, the reality is very different.

 

There are plenty of people out there. Why pick a pseudo-relationship, with faux intimacy when you can have the real deal?

 

 

Sad, but true. Sometimes, love doesn't conquer all. And if someone can't do an LDR, it doesn't mean they don't love you. But we have to love ourselves first. LDRs are very painful. I hope I never have one again.

[Ijustdon'tgetit]

I hope I never have one again.

 

I very much agree. As painful as it is to admit. Thanks for taking the time to reply!

[Blade96]

I don't see the point of a long distance relationship. No amount of emailing or Skyping will replace being able to see, touch, and smell your partner.

 

It's not that they don't love you. I'm sure they do. But we still have to make number one ourselves - and for all the sappy romanticism that people think accompanies an LDR, the reality is very different.

 

 

Heh. My friends got so mad at my Net ex when he left me. saying how stupid he was and all that. I get it. They're my friends. They love me. They want to defend me. I love them a lot too. bunches.

 

BUT ...

 

as you said, I believe my ex loved me. I believe he did. But he wasn't able to do with long distance thing. He also wants kids, and wants to see hear and smell a girlfriend.

 

I didn't get mad at him for not being able to do long distance. Although my friends think he is a poor romantic idiot (because they think I am awesome)

[Chris516]

Not everyone is cut out for an LDR.

[justwhoiam]

Is one selfish and not worth it if they can't wait for you in a long distance relationship?

That might be true to some extent, but not necessarily.

 

not everyone can handle long distance relationships and some people need the intimacy of their partner. What is your opinion?

I think that some people can bear the separation and distance better than others. But when one truly is in love, it won't be easy to replace that special person in your heart. Some guy I know was in love with a girl, but unreciprocated, for a long time. He would go out with friends, go on with his life and now and then date some girl. But it felt like deceving a poor girl for him, because his mind and heart were elsewhere. After some years of that, he really moved on. He has a steady girlfriend now, but just from last year. I'm not able to tell if he's really feeling that spark. Maybe it's just that he's older now, and so things change with age too. But I've seen really grown people in love like teenagers.... so I tend to think he mainly wanted to settle down.

[Ijustdon'tgetit]

That might be true to some extent, but not necessarily.

 

I think that some people can bear the separation and distance better than others. But when one truly is in love, it won't be easy to replace that special person in your heart. Some guy I know was in love with a girl, but unreciprocated, for a long time. He would go out with friends, go on with his life and now and then date some girl. But it felt like deceving a poor girl for him, because his mind and heart were elsewhere. After some years of that, he really moved on. He has a steady girlfriend now, but just from last year. I'm not able to tell if he's really feeling that spark. Maybe it's just that he's older now, and so things change with age too. But I've seen really grown people in love like teenagers.... so I tend to think he mainly wanted to settle down.

 

Thanks for your opinion, justwhoiam. I continue feeling conflicted with everything that's happened. I tend to agree with your thinking that if a man was truly in love, the distance would be worth it, especially if there was an end date to look forward to. However, I'm beginning to grow mentally from my breakup and I'm gaining more empathy. I love him and I want him to be happy. I feel grateful that he chose to let me go and be somewhat honest rather than cheat. For now that and some other circumstances contributing to our breakup is enough to calm my heart.

 

I still harbor hope that this is just a "break" and he will want me in his life again someday. This denial is probably hindering me from moving on but all I can do is keep focusing on myself and hopefully I will move on eventually. Who knows what the future holds, but once I move there I doubt I will be able to look past this pain he has caused me so maybe I won't want to try again then.

 

I saw in another post that you're going through some hard times in your ldr? If this is the case, I know your pain. I pray everything will work out for you. If you don't mind me asking, is your situation similar to my questions where the distance is becoming a troubling factor in your relationship?

 

Thanks again

[justwhoiam]

I know your pain. I pray everything will work out for you.

Thank you.

 

If you don't mind me asking' date=' is your situation similar to my questions where the distance is becoming a troubling factor in your relationship?[/quote'] I guess most tension comes from being apart, from our longest time apart ever, the use of modern devices causing frustration at times, like misunderstandings, etc.

He could have come here in June, but unfortunately that didn't go through. Anyway, I'm supposed to see him this fall. We'll see.

[Ijustdon'tgetit]

Thank you.

 

I guess most tension comes from being apart, from our longest time apart ever, the use of modern devices causing frustration at times, like misunderstandings, etc.

He could have come here in June, but unfortunately that didn't go through. Anyway, I'm supposed to see him this fall. We'll see.

 

I remember the frustrations and misunderstandings due to technology. Being in an ldr is very frustrating period.

 

Take care