This girl kept talking to my boyfriend, what do I do?

[missingu]

My boyfriend kissed this girl ages ago before we were together. Anyway she has just asked for his number. Has been snap chatting him non stop which was fine until he told me she sent him a pic of herself topless. I immediately got mad and noticed she wouldn't leave him alone.

 

I told him to tell her to back off but he wouldn't. Because he obviously likes the attention. He told me "what I'm not allowed to have girl friends" and I said yes he is but what she was doing was inappropriate.

 

I told him to tell her to back off again and again and he wouldn't listen but now he has.

 

I'm feeling bad. I don't want to tell him who he can and can't talk to but this girl wouldn't leave him alone and he was obviously playing up to it.

 

Am I wrong?,

[d0nnivain]

People in relationships are allowed to have opposite sex friends who are respectful of the relationship. This chick is not. If your BF refuses to set boundaries with her -- no sexy pixs -- you set them for him by drawing your boundaries with him on the outside.

[missingu]

Yeah I know but I still feel really bad. I don't know why??

[d0nnivain]

You feel bad because your BF is not being nice to you & that hurts. You didn't do anything wrong.

[darkmoon]

stop feeling bad, he saw some tits, you are feeling guilty at standing up to him, in small doses, this standing gets you respected, good, you are on your way to grown womanhood

[h0000]

You can start sexting some dudes . revenge is fun

[No Limit]

If your boyfriend doesn't care about you, you break up with him. Period. Tell him to have fun with her and leave, why be the pity prize when you can be #1 for some other guy who will actually appreciate you?

 

If he ever starts fighting about it, ask him if he'd be okay with you sexting other guys.

[barcode88]

OP your guy should have cut contact with her if she's sending topless photos. If he isn't taking you serious about blocking her, then he isn't taking your relationship serious. Not a good sign.

 

It would be OK if they were just friends, but if she's sent a topless photo that means it's getting SEXUAL and that's not OK.

[PegNosePete]

He is making you feel bad, for his bad behaviour.

 

This is not a good sign for the future of your relationship. I would be very wary here. He is a game player. You will have to keep a close eye on this one, he's already had his first chance, don't let him play you for a fool again.

[elaine567]

I'm feeling bad. I don't want to tell him who he can and can't talk to but this girl wouldn't leave him alone and he was obviously playing up to it.

 

Am I wrong?,

 

You cannot tell him who he can or cannot talk to but you can say if he continues talking to that person, a person who by her actions is toxic to your relationship, then you do not want to be in a relationship with him.

If he cannot see why sexting other women is wrong, then you have to question his whole commitment to your relationship.

You are not being unreasonable here.

 

Do not feel guilty about setting boundaries, if you allow this, he will see you as a doormat, and he will continue to push your boundaries. Where does it end? Sexting, Kissing, Making out, Sleeping with...

You cannot control him, but you can state clearly where you draw your lines as to what you will and will not tolerate.

[Omei]

I agree friends of the other gender is okay but when that person breaks the boundaries.... right now you have every right to ask him not to speak to her the fact hes so defensive about what's clearly not acceptable you should leave for the time being if he won't remove her from your situation if you do not stand up for yourself he will continue to act this way.

 

Im not saying break up but at least pack up

[Diezel]

Honestly, break up with him. You are indirectly telling him that he can have female friends who can send him pictures of themselves exposed.

 

This will not go well in the future and will only get worse.

[smackie9]

What are you doing wrong??? you keep putting up with this crap that's what's wrong. You need to dump his ass because in no way does he respect you....in fact it goes to show you he isn't invested.

[missingu]

So he told her to back off. And she messages him again. He didn't reply. He deleted her from facebook, snapchat etc. I still feel bad. But he didn't make me feel bad. I just do

[No Limit]

You feel bad because he didn't shut her off from the beginning. And honestly, this could be an act he's pulling as well. A relationship can't last if you have to monitor your partners' every move because you can't trust him to do the right thing on his own.

[smackie9]

So he told her to back off. And she messages him again. He didn't reply. He deleted her from facebook, snapchat etc. I still feel bad. But he didn't make me feel bad. I just do

 

She will eventually fade away and you will move on from this....you won't feel bad forever.

[missingu]

The thing is I believe my boyfriend won't cheat. He is always worried about other people and their feelings. When he upsets me he genuinely gets upset. I just want to forget this

[Diezel]

The thing is I believe my boyfriend won't cheat. He is always worried about other people and their feelings. When he upsets me he genuinely gets upset. I just want to forget this

 

This is what they all say, until it happens and then they say they feel like suckers for ignoring the signs.

 

He obviously still wants to get pics from her or else he would have set boundaries or blocked her.

[elaine567]

The thing is I believe my boyfriend won't cheat. He is always worried about other people and their feelings. When he upsets me he genuinely gets upset. I just want to forget this

 

I have no idea about whether your bf will cheat or not, but do not think because he gets "upset" doesn't mean he is incapable of cheating. He may get upset merely because he was found out and not because he upset people.

The most "successful" cheaters are those that everyone thinks "He/she would never cheat."

 

YOU also contradicted yourself, if he was so concerned re your feelings why did he continue to snapchat her, when he knew it upset you?

[darkmoon]

So he told her to back off. And she messages him again. He didn't reply. He deleted her from facebook, snapchat etc. I still feel bad. But he didn't make me feel bad. I just do

 

because you feel you did not act sweetly, so you had to go out of carachter, so now you feel strange, reliving the bad, emotions pass, this will quiten down, you will feel sweet again in time

Edited April 29, 2015 by darkmoon

[minimariah]

Am I wrong?,

 

no, dump him. there are dudes out there who will put YOU above some chick sending snapchat tits. get rid of that dude and find someone with a spine & who's mentally above the 13yearold boy level.

[Naturebox]

Am I wrong?,

 

 

You know you're not. You need to get rid of this guy, he clearly doesn't respect your feelings.

[foolinlove79]

Its hard because you don't want to be "that controlling girlfriend". But there are some things that go over the line. Howd he like it if some guy sent you a picture of his dick?