csny111 Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 (edited) Especially when it comes to relationships. Everything is so money money money, you have to get a degree before you get married. People are not hardwired to wait until they are 30-35 to be intimate, and Christianity specifically states waiting til marriage is best. There are so many problems in the church, and women are getting older and older and still not marrying. We have a serious, cultural problem on our hands!! And it needs to stop!!! P.S. So glad there is a Spirituality/Religion thread on these forums!!!!!!!! Edited April 28, 2015 by csny111 Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Well to most of Christianity you only get one attempt, some take the position that infidelity or abandonment gives you a second chance. And we know most break ups are over money, not the person next door thinking of a different sexual partner for the fun of it. So money or being able to support the family is one of the qualifications to be a spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 You can support a family on one income, especially if they work hard. I know it's more difficult, (which is another political/spiritual debate I have with the way society works nowadays), but it is possible. You don't HAVE to start a family right away, after you get married, either. In fact, it's probably better that you wait for 2 years or so, before having kids! That gives you time to work from the bottom up, and really get established in your career (or both), all the while being in love and being able to fulfill those "urges". But, if you start this at, let's say 18 -19, you have much more time to accomplish this! If you wait until you're 30-35, your chances for pregnancy become way more slim... etc etc etc... I know a Christian girl who is just now getting a divorce, and she's 35 expecting another kid. I'm like... well, your opportunity just flew out the window!! I don't know how long people think they have, but we need to start hoppin' to it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 So, OP, are you married? Do you have kids? How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 It sounds like you're struggling with your faith to me. I hope it works out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 28, 2015 Author Share Posted April 28, 2015 When I say "there are so many problems in the church" I mean it to mean, that Pastors of modern day churches are taking true Christianity and turning it into something it's not. My faith is fine. It's the modern day Christians, who are screwing it up. I found a Christian marriage counselor who thinks the same, and he could really start a trend (in the church) if they'd let him. He talks about things regular pastors refuse to, and it's sad. It's a shame, for modern day churches. I still go to church. But, I'm just waiting to hear a good old fashioned, honest to God (no pun intended), lesson about what the Bible specifically teaches, and how we as Christians, are supposed to live our lives. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 When I say "there are so many problems in the church" I mean it to mean, that Pastors of modern day churches are taking true Christianity and turning it into something it's not. My faith is fine. It's the modern day Christians, who are screwing it up. I found a Christian marriage counselor who thinks the same, and he could really start a trend (in the church) if they'd let him. He talks about things regular pastors refuse to, and it's sad. It's a shame, for modern day churches. I still go to church. But, I'm just waiting to hear a good old fashioned, honest to God (no pun intended), lesson about what the Bible specifically teaches, and how we as Christians, are supposed to live our lives. I'd be interested to hear the things you think the rest of the pastors are getting wrong and what you consider to be good, old fashioned, honest to God preaching. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Sorry OP but I'm not sure I'm understanding your frustrations. Your posts seem conflicting to me. Please feel free to clarify more so we might be able to respond accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 My point seemed to come across in every thread I started, EXCEPT this one. Christians are becoming just as derailed as the rest of society. Thank God, I went to my old church tonight, and heard our super, ultra conservative Pastor talk about this. Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 My point seemed to come across in every thread I started, EXCEPT this one. Christians are becoming just as derailed as the rest of society. Thank God, I went to my old church tonight, and heard our super, ultra conservative Pastor talk about this. This means I'm going to burn in hell eternally because that's what the extreme of your religion believes about non believers. sorry but the bible is filled with outdated crap. how nuts are you going to be in you run into a gay person or an abortion doctor? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 So you're blaming the "new" Christian teachings for all the wrongs in the world? Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 So you're blaming the "new" Christian teachings for all the wrongs in the world? If I find a church, who sticks to the basics of the Bible, that's fine. I have two churches I'm sort of bouncing back and forth between, one of them seems more modern, but so far what they teach hasn't really altered from the Bible. It just depends. I do think churches aren't addressing young relationships very well. We are going to have 35-55 year old women in this up and coming generation, who have never been married. That's not okay. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 We are going to have 35-55 year old women in this up and coming generation, who have never been married. That's not okay. What if a woman doesn't want to be married? Not everyone does, you know. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 What if a woman doesn't want to be married? Not everyone does, you know. Paul seemed to indicate that it was better to remain single, but that if we really wanted to get laid that badly then, sure, go ahead and get married, that being better than going around in a state of perpetual heat. I may be paraphrasing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Paul seemed to indicate that it was better to remain single, but that if we really wanted to get laid that badly then, sure, go ahead and get married, that being better than going around in a state of perpetual heat. I may be paraphrasing. Yes, he did! I quote Paul all the time! The reason he was stating this, is because he was speaking to the Corinthians!! Who were basically behaving like America is now. This is my whole point! Unless you are married, keep it in your pants!!!!!!!! You are only going to hurt more people, by not doing it God's way!! And many Christians are falling off this bandwagon!! This is the whole point of my thread!!!!!! Thank you, Gorilla!! Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 If I find a church, who sticks to the basics of the Bible, that's fine. I have two churches I'm sort of bouncing back and forth between, one of them seems more modern, but so far what they teach hasn't really altered from the Bible. It just depends. I do think churches aren't addressing young relationships very well. We are going to have 35-55 year old women in this up and coming generation, who have never been married. That's not okay. Just out of curiosity, how old are you? I see from your other thread that you aren't married yourself. What will you do if you find yourself in this camp of 35-55 year old unmarried women? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
caltron Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 This is my whole point! Unless you are married, keep it in your pants!!!!!!!! You are only going to hurt more people, by not doing it God's way!! But it's completely all right for you to push raw hate on anyone who doesn't agree one hundred percent of the time with your narrow minded views. Using religion to spread hate. You're sure to hate me so I may as well hate you right back. :rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Yeah, you'd be surprised at how many single Christian people at meet at their events that are divorced. The divorce rate among Christians is at the same level as the rest of the US. It was quite surprising to me at first finding out the statistics, apparently "Death do us part" doesn't apply to them either. I know of one woman that is currently active in her church. She's their piano player and I believe has a boyfriend that has never set foot in church in his life or at least not since he was a kid. He does his own thing on Sundays and she goes her church thing which is fine by her. She said she did the whole "get married young, wait until your wedding night to have your virginity taken away, etc" only to have it turn into a compete nightmare. She told me THIS time she'll plan on living together outside of marriage and do the things typical secular people do regardless of God says only because her last night mare marriage has motivated her to do this. She's saying, "Sorry, God, my last marriage my husband beat the crap out of me and cheated, drank etc,....so this time I intend on finding out more about my future husband by living with him for a while outside of marriage. " I asked her about what she thought about "living in sin" as she stated, and she said, "Come judgement day, that'll be between me and God." What she says does make sense as you would like to know the person about to marry could be a closet gambler, womanizer, coke head, deep in debt., etc. I think there are situations like this that had driven law abiding Christians to this kind of dating situation...ie marrying older, sexually tire kicking to see if sexual performance is up to par, find out the person you're about to marry isn't in debt, etc." all those kinds of "secrets". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 But it's completely all right for you to push raw hate on anyone who doesn't agree one hundred percent of the time with your narrow minded views. Using religion to spread hate. You're sure to hate me so I may as well hate you right back. :rolleyes: From the segment you quoted, not sure it justified this type of critiquing... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 There are so many problems in the church, and women are getting older and older and still not marrying. We have a serious, cultural problem on our hands!! And it needs to stop!!! IDK about that, two young couples just got married at my church in April and the church is booked through September with weddings. People are still getting married. OP you sound really bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 In my experience, Christians are no better or worse than anybody else. ********************************************************* All in all Each man in all men all men in each man All being in each being Each being in all being All in each Each in all All distinctions are mind, by mind, in mind, of mind No distinctions no mind to distinguish - RD Laing, Knots. *********************************************************** 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Yeah, you'd be surprised at how many single Christian people at meet at their events that are divorced. The divorce rate among Christians is at the same level as the rest of the US. It was quite surprising to me at first finding out the statistics, apparently "Death do us part" doesn't apply to them either. Sign of the times IMO.. many identify themselves as 'Christian', but I think many aren't. I know of one woman that is currently active in her church. She's their piano player and I believe has a boyfriend that has never set foot in church in his life or at least not since he was a kid. He does his own thing on Sundays and she goes her church thing which is fine by her. She said she did the whole "get married young, wait until your wedding night to have your virginity taken away, etc" only to have it turn into a compete nightmare. She told me THIS time she'll plan on living together outside of marriage and do the things typical secular people do regardless of God says only because her last night mare marriage has motivated her to do this. She's saying, "Sorry, God, my last marriage my husband beat the crap out of me and cheated, drank etc,....so this time I intend on finding out more about my future husband by living with him for a while outside of marriage. " Funny how God gets 'blamed', per se, when people screw up. Who's to say this marriage was of God in the first place? I asked her about what she thought about "living in sin" as she stated, and she said, "Come judgement day, that'll be between me and God." Pretty much. What she says does make sense as you would like to know the person about to marry could be a closet gambler, womanizer, coke head, deep in debt., etc. To the world this makes perfect sense, to God, not so much. I think there are situations like this that had driven law abiding Christians to this kind of dating situation...ie marrying older, sexually tire kicking to see if sexual performance is up to par, find out the person you're about to marry isn't in debt, etc." all those kinds of "secrets". With all due respect, it's the flesh and self that drives Christians... Gods mandates are fine and do work. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 There are a variety of ways that we choose not to act like CHrist. Yes, one of those ways is by not being holy as He is holy. Another is by forgetting about grace and redemption and forgiveness. People tend to skip over that one when they are all "het up" about other people's sin. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
digdug75 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Especially when it comes to relationships. Everything is so money money money, you have to get a degree before you get married. People are not hardwired to wait until they are 30-35 to be intimate, and Christianity specifically states waiting til marriage is best. There are so many problems in the church, and women are getting older and older and still not marrying. We have a serious, cultural problem on our hands!! And it needs to stop!!! P.S. So glad there is a Spirituality/Religion thread on these forums!!!!!!!! The title of your thread is what struck my interest. "Christians, Not being Christians". Are you speaking of all religions and churches that believe in Jesus Christ or just your church? Why should there be a waiting period for marriage? The only commandments we have pertaining to relationships is to multiply and replenish the earth. No sex before marriage. No cheating with your actions, heart, or mind. Don't covet they neighbors wife! Then you have direction concerning how the wife is to be and how the husband is to be. There is several references about how interfaith marriage is not good. The solution is simple, yet complicated to explain. It is hard to implement, because of temptation and the God given freedom to choose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pablee Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Here is something I find interesting regarding the Bible. Yahweh in the Old Testament did not prohibit polygamy. In fact, many of the OT "heroes" did have more than one wife, including King David, who had at least 8 wives and even more concubines (exclusive sexual partners for the king). Yet David is upheld as the greatest king in the Bible, a man after Yahweh's own heart. So if the Christian deity never changes, as is often claimed, why then is polygamy prohibited now? Jesus' teaching in Matt. 19:5 is often interpreted as Jesus saying that one man can only have one wife, but some scholars disagree, and I'm not sure that the teaching here is so clear. It may simply mean that when a man takes a wife he should always stay married to her. Not that I'm an advocate for polygamy, just pointing out some seemingly apparent inconsistencies found in the Bible with regards to marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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